Alienated Church: Father's and Mother's day

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Renee29

I guess I could have got up and left for that part, but I wanted to support the families having their babies dedicated. I didn't want to make it about me.

Was the whole service about them or did you have other stuff?

If you left would the service become about you or would it still be about them? Did it eventually become about HIM or did it stay all about them?

Im still waiting for how its all about me for not sitting on my butt for an hour or so while a "father's day" parade is going on. If fathers get some sort of validation by me sitting there for an hour while they have their parade Id say that makes them pretty self centered. So who is it really all about? Me or them? It wasn't my parade. I wasn't being seen. I wasn't up front. I wasn't demanding to be seen or heard. I got no gifts. I discretely stayed home. And for that Im labeled selfish?

All year long I come to church, worship God, teach bible studies, minister to souls and somehow I'm selfish and the rest of you are not all because I don't sit still for an hour of gift giving, movies and accolades for the fathers of the church? ROFL

Personally I believe me wishing my Landlord "Happy Father's day" has more value that sitting through an hour long, boring program, bleary eyed and trying to stay awake. Some people, fathers included, stayed home FOR fathers day. That was how they celebrated it I guess. Others missed the evening service...how dare they! It's all about them

Yet me, non father and my father not alive anymore HAS to be there else it's all about me? Seriously? I don't think so.

You don't really have to be led to believe you are a bad person for feeling alienated and not feeling like if you don't go through these programs you are bad. That's what makes this so hilarious to hear the judgments from not just the conservatives but the liberals as well. I feel no guilt for missing a father's day program. I feel pity for people who are hurt yet are made to feel guilty if the don't go.

BTW when the fathers all stayed home from the evening service because the wanted "me" time for father's day are they being selfish? :-)

[Fiyahstarter]

I guess people have different ideas of what "church" is/oughta be.

I've never liked Mother's Day/Father's Day "programs" either. I think a prayer of thanks, a small token of apppreciation... then on with the SERVICE.

JMHO

[Renee29]

No, I don't think you or the father's staying home are bad people. We just disagree. I wasn't raised in church so my mindset is not church taught. I got it from my parents. They taught me you always attended other people's special events like weddings, graduations, recitals, birthday parties etc. to show the other person love and support because it's important to them.

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Was the whole service about them or did you have other stuff?

If you left would the service become about you or would it still be about them? Did it eventually become about HIM or did it stay all about them?

Im still waiting for how its all about me for not sitting on my butt for an hour or so while a "father's day" parade is going on. If fathers get some sort of validation by me sitting there for an hour while they have their parade Id say that makes them pretty self centered. So who is it really all about? Me or them? It wasn't my parade. I wasn't being seen. I wasn't up front. I wasn't demanding to be seen or heard. I got no gifts. I discretely stayed home. And for that Im labeled selfish?

All year long I come to church, worship God, teach bible studies, minister to souls and somehow I'm selfish and the rest of you are not all because I don't sit still for an hour of gift giving, movies and accolades for the fathers of the church? ROFL

Personally I believe me wishing my Landlord "Happy Father's day" has more value that sitting through an hour long, boring program, bleary eyed and trying to stay awake. Some people, fathers included, stayed home FOR fathers day. That was how they celebrated it I guess. Others missed the evening service...how dare they! It's all about them

Yet me, non father and my father not alive anymore HAS to be there else it's all about me? Seriously? I don't think so.

You don't really have to be led to believe you are a bad person for feeling alienated and not feeling like if you don't go through these programs you are bad. That's what makes this so hilarious to hear the judgments from not just the conservatives but the liberals as well. I feel no guilt for missing a father's day program. I feel pity for people who are hurt yet are made to feel guilty if the don't go.

BTW when the fathers all stayed home from the evening service because the wanted "me" time for father's day are they being selfish? :-)

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter

I guess people have different ideas of what "church" is/oughta be.

I've never liked Mother's Day/Father's Day "programs" either. I think a prayer of thanks, a small token of apppreciation... then on with the SERVICE.

JMHO

That's how I feel

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Renee29

No, I don't think you or the father's staying home are bad people. We just disagree. I wasn't raised in church so my mindset is not church taught. I got it from my parents. They taught me you always attended other people's special events like weddings, graduations, recitals, birthday parties etc. to show the other person love and support because it's important to them.

There are far FAR too many "other" events to attend all.

I don't have the time or energy, but let me restate that I DID "go to church". I went to my friends new work in a nearby city (he comes from my church), to not just be ministered to but support what they are doing. As I said we have preaching and a visiting couple. We prayed for the young man and woman and she received the holy Ghost

[MawMaw]

Let me ask...why CAN'T we have a "program" AND a regular service at the same time?

That would be best!

[MawMaw]

Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter

I guess people have different ideas of what "church" is/oughta be.

I've never liked Mother's Day/Father's Day "programs" either. I think a prayer of thanks, a small token of apppreciation... then on with the SERVICE.

JMHO

I very much agree!

[Ferd]

Prax, I dont hate ya buddy! I think it is an important reality that those in leadership need to be exposed to. Not everyone fits when you have things like mothers day and fathers day events.

I had some boys in my youth group that didnt have the kind of fathers that make you proud.

Fathers Day was a hard day for them. A very hard day. I spent a lot of time with my arm around a shoulder with a crying kid because it was fathers day.

Our church does recognize moms and dads on the respective days. However, our pastor does something very interesting. He also recognizes those men and women who may not be parents but are "moms and dads" to kids in the church. that expands that circle a great deal. and draws more people into the moment.

we dont do a whole focused service. just a few minutes of recognition. The rest of the service is about Church. We may not be perfect but you have to recognize that peoples expriences are vast and for some there is a lot of hurt associated with events that for others are all warm and fuzzy....


Love ya Prax!

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Ferd

Prax, I dont hate ya buddy! I think it is an important reality that those in leadership need to be exposed to. Not everyone fits when you have things like mothers day and fathers day events.

I had some boys in my youth group that didnt have the kind of fathers that make you proud.

Fathers Day was a hard day for them. A very hard day. I spent a lot of time with my arm around a shoulder with a crying kid because it was fathers day.

Our church does recognize moms and dads on the respective days. However, our pastor does something very interesting. He also recognizes those men and women who may not be parents but are "moms and dads" to kids in the church. that expands that circle a great deal. and draws more people into the moment.

we dont do a whole focused service. just a few minutes of recognition. The rest of the service is about Church. We may not be perfect but you have to recognize that peoples expriences are vast and for some there is a lot of hurt associated with events that for others are all warm and fuzzy....


Love ya Prax!

Sounds exactly like what Prax would like to see happen. I am surprised that so many have misread what he's been trying to say.

Your church handles it very good.

[Whole Hearted]

Some people are so selfish they can't even give honor and respect to other on their special day. My parents are gone so mothers day and fathers day are hard for me, but I give honor to others on their special day.

Today it seems that everything is "about me" We live in a a VERY selfish self centered generation.