How do you 'pastor' somebody?

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by n david

Well, I'm not a Pastor, (can I get an Amen and Hallelujah!?) but I'm pretty sure it involves some yelling, beating on the pulpit with your fist, spitting a lot of saliva on the microphone, demanding an offering and berating anyone who's unable to give, requiring members to submit their work and vacation schedules, and taking from the offering to build a retirement account or buy a large home/multiple automobiles/go on vacation, etc.

At least, that's what I've learned from reading different posts on here.