So Mich....

[ILG]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

Yes. All my family were out of town, and we didn't have our Sunday fellowship meeting this week either.

I actually enjoy going alone in some ways.

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by ILG

I actually enjoy going alone in some ways.

Yes, I agree. You can stand out less in a crowd being by yourself, as opposed to showing up with your family.

Yet, even though I went by myself, and although I walked in, I bypassed the greeter (she was busy talking to other visitors), and I took a seat in the back, but still, everyone must have known I was a visitor, and at the meet and greet time after the first song, a lot of people made their way to shake my hand.

[Dichotomy Girl]

Originally Posted by ILG

So, today I had a weird attempt at church. First of all, churches are HORRIBLE at advertising their times to visitors! Many have just their address on the web and nothing else. Makes it hard! Not too good for growing a church!

Anyway, I had intended to go to the Lutheran church again today. Got there at the normal time and it had a sign outside the church that it was moved to an hour and a half later! So, I drove home and decided to go to a different one that was earlier. I had it in my head that it started at 10:00 but drove there are found out that Sunday School was at 9:45 and worship at 10:45. I didn't want to walk in late and decided to go gas up my car and wash it and it would be about time for the Lutheran one to start! So, I gassed the car and washed it and drove to the Lutheran church. Nobody there. Then, a sign up on the door said that service was that night at 6:00!! Sheesh! Not sure what happened to the morning service! So then, I turned around and drove back to the other one in time for regular service. Wow! 4th try!

So, here I am at a little trinitarian Pentecostal church. The pastor I found out was licensed AOG. There was no pianist that day as she was gone. There were 8 people there besides me.

We sang two songs acapella, which was kind of peaceful although I prefer a piano. Then we had a prayer session for Israel and the Christians over there for 10 minutes. It was long. After running around all morning and then having my eyes closed for that long, I got drowsy.

The sermon was quite good. I really liked the pastor and his wife. (Didn't really care for the pastor at the AOG I went to last time....seemed showy and forward, kinda pushy.) They seemed really down to earth. He has pastored for 40 years altogether. Someone asked him a question (very casual atmosphere) and he answered very honesty and a very good answer. She asked if praying for someone was all a person could do if they wouldn't listen to you. He said that sometimes, yes. And he said a person should love them and listen to them and that he doesn't know everything and the longer he lives the more he realizes that he doesn't know much of anything and that listening to someone is good!! Then he said "that may not be the answer you wanted but it's what I have to give". I thought it was very honest.

There was some shama-la-ha that went on in the congregation that turned me off a bit. A little bit of showman Pentecost, but not from the pastor and his wife that I saw.

So.....meh. I would probably be friends with the pastor and his wife. But don't know about the rest of it.

Sorry it took me so long to reply! My Mom and Sister were visiting from Wisconsin, and then I spent half a week playing catch up!

I'm sorry that you had such a meh experience. It makes me feel like everything is so difficult!

My last time at church (same church) would have been the 20th. It was....not good. He talked about tithing and how important it was, yadda yadda yadda. Ignoring for the moment my personal issues with the idea of tithing (not giving...tithing....), the fact is that my husband would NEVER be ok with giving money to something that goes against everything he believes in. So I was mostly bored and irritated.

And then I wonder why I go in the first place. I know that I will never find a place where I truly fit in, or belong. But I keep hoping I can find a place that is OK with me being me. Maybe this church is, but I'm just frustrated because the past few services I've gone to have all been about how they want to double the church size in the next year, and how it's important to give money to do that.....sigh.....

And I'm really missing the slower worship music. I don't mind fast rocky songs, but that's ALL they play.

Ok, now I feel bad, like all I'm doing is tearing down this church, and it's a very nice place, filled with very nice people...it just doesn't seem to fit.

I keep thinking that with my bizarre life, and unorthodox beliefs that maybe the best thing is to not settle in one place, but to just continually mix it up. I mean, I can understand that in the long run, most people would want to support one place with their time and money. But that's not an option for me.

And actually in a few weeks, I might not even be able to attend anywhere for awhile. My husband is a security supervisor at the University of Georgia. And with football season starting up again, he will no long have Friday and Sat. nights off. He'll have Sunday night off, which means that Sunday during the day is the only day that we will have together all week.

Sigh again....

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Dichotomy Girl

Sorry it took me so long to reply! My Mom and Sister were visiting from Wisconsin, and then I spent half a week playing catch up!

I'm sorry that you had such a meh experience. It makes me feel like everything is so difficult!

My last time at church (same church) would have been the 20th. It was....not good. He talked about tithing and how important it was, yadda yadda yadda. Ignoring for the moment my personal issues with the idea of tithing (not giving...tithing....), the fact is that my husband would NEVER be ok with giving money to something that goes against everything he believes in. So I was mostly bored and irritated.

And then I wonder why I go in the first place. I know that I will never find a place where I truly fit in, or belong. But I keep hoping I can find a place that is OK with me being me. Maybe this church is, but I'm just frustrated because the past few services I've gone to have all been about how they want to double the church size in the next year, and how it's important to give money to do that.....sigh.....

And I'm really missing the slower worship music. I don't mind fast rocky songs, but that's ALL they play.

Ok, now I feel bad, like all I'm doing is tearing down this church, and it's a very nice place, filled with very nice people...it just doesn't seem to fit.

I keep thinking that with my bizarre life, and unorthodox beliefs that maybe the best thing is to not settle in one place, but to just continually mix it up. I mean, I can understand that in the long run, most people would want to support one place with their time and money. But that's not an option for me.

And actually in a few weeks, I might not even be able to attend anywhere for awhile. My husband is a security supervisor at the University of Georgia. And with football season starting up again, he will no long have Friday and Sat. nights off. He'll have Sunday night off, which means that Sunday during the day is the only day that we will have together all week.

Sigh again....

Sorry you are struggling Mich. all I can say is I very much relate. Especially to this:

And then I wonder why I go in the first place. I know that I will never find a place where I truly fit in, or belong. But I keep hoping I can find a place that is OK with me being me.

And this:

I keep thinking that with my bizarre life, and unorthodox beliefs that maybe the best thing is to not settle in one place, but to just continually mix it up.

But then I think that's maybe like dating and never settling down. So, anyway, it's tough but there more than just us tow who feel this way I am going to guess.

I had kind of an awesome day yesterday. I went to the Lutheran church and heard music coming out the doors! I walked in and there was a bluegrass gospel band playing! No preacher, just people in the pews and this band! Woah! They played for a full hour and it was quite enjoyable! All this month they are doing that every Sunday morning with different groups. So, I would love to go every Sunday, I'm just not sure I want to make people think I'm ready to come every Sunday. So, I'll have to think about it. So far, this church is the best fit.

[Dichotomy Girl]

Originally Posted by ILG

Sorry you are struggling Mich. all I can say is I very much relate. Especially to this:

And this:

But then I think that's maybe like dating and never settling down. So, anyway, it's tough but there more than just us tow who feel this way I am going to guess.

I had kind of an awesome day yesterday. I went to the Lutheran church and heard music coming out the doors! I walked in and there was a bluegrass gospel band playing! No preacher, just people in the pews and this band! Woah! They played for a full hour and it was quite enjoyable! All this month they are doing that every Sunday morning with different groups. So, I would love to go every Sunday, I'm just not sure I want to make people think I'm ready to come every Sunday. So, I'll have to think about it. So far, this church is the best fit.

Glad you had a better time this week! Keep me posted!

[ILG]

I went to a little church in town here today. I've been kind of scared of it because I feel that way about all seeming charismatic/pentecostal churches. Well, today I sucked in my breath and charged forth.

The music was great. The preaching was great. I was very blessed in the service and felt some spiritual breakthroughs that I needed.

The pastor and his wife were gone on vacation.

I expected about 5 people and a boring service that I couldn't wait to get out of. Instead, there were about 35 people and I was engaged from start to finish.

Now, I'm terrified. I went home with my stomach in knots and had to pray and decompress for about 10 minutes and cry and get it out of my system.

I want to marry the Lutheran church with this one and go there.

My brain tells me to go one place and my heart another. So, I have no idea where the journey will take me. Anyway, I am not in any big hurry. I have concerns about going to any serious Bible believing church since I don't believe in a literal interpretation. But maybe this is the way I have been supposed to believe all along while in a church like that. I dunno.

So, pray for me. Who knows....

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by ILG

I went to a little church in town here today. I've been kind of scared of it because I feel that way about all seeming charismatic/pentecostal churches. Well, today I sucked in my breath and charged forth.

The music was great. The preaching was great. I was very blessed in the service and felt some spiritual breakthroughs that I needed.

The pastor and his wife were gone on vacation.

I expected about 5 people and a boring service that I couldn't wait to get out of. Instead, there were about 35 people and I was engaged from start to finish.

Now, I'm terrified. I went home with my stomach in knots and had to pray and decompress for about 10 minutes and cry and get it out of my system.

I want to marry the Lutheran church with this one and go there.

My brain tells me to go one place and my heart another. So, I have no idea where the journey will take me. Anyway, I am not in any big hurry. I have concerns about going to any serious Bible believing church since I don't believe in a literal interpretation. But maybe this is the way I have been supposed to believe all along while in a church like that. I dunno.

So, pray for me. Who knows....

Take it easy with yourself, and give yourself time. I think you are just getting your feet wet again with churches so to speak... and it takes time. I am glad that you had a good experience with this church. There is no "perfect" church as we all know... there are bits and pieces of all that are good, but because of the very nature of our human hearts, there will never be a perfect church. I will keep praying for you!

[ILG]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

Take it easy with yourself, and give yourself time. I think you are just getting your feet wet again with churches so to speak... and it takes time. I am glad that you had a good experience with this church. There is no "perfect" church as we all know... there are bits and pieces of all that are good, but because of the very nature of our human hearts, there will never be a perfect church. I will keep praying for you!

Thanks KBTW, I do plan on taking my time. I am glad I can feel that way and not feel like I have to feel pressure.

Part of me is shocked I enjoyed it so much and felt so blessed. It's scary.

[KeptByTheWord]

Yes, I'm sure it is scary in a sense, but I believe the Lord is leading, and guiding you to a place where you can grow in your relationship with Him, and despite your difficult past, there is a better future with the lessons you have learned already.

[strait shooter]

For some reason after reading this thread these lyrics from The Grateful Deads song "Truckin" come to mind...

"Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been."