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  #1  
Old 10-12-2015, 11:23 AM
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J.A. Perez J.A. Perez is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

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Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa View Post
I responded I do.
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Old 10-12-2015, 02:16 PM
Sean Sean is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

A letter to my fellow preterist, replacement theologians!



I have you this letter to inform you that some of us have had to be institutionalized because of increased hallucinations.

I feel we must address the issue before we proceed any further....

We have a special asylum for preterists that become deranged(to keep them from harming themselves and others), that we commit our dedicated preterists to, from time to time.

Folks, we may have to re-commit some of them that are right here on AFF, to the(IOCP) Instituion for "Out of Control" Preterists.

We are compelled to do this from time to time, when EXTREME flare ups of imaginary interpretations occur.(it is hard at this point to distinguish reality from fantasy).

Please be patient with our system, for we are a work in progress. It is very difficult to metaphorize the Bible, without becoming a metaphor ourselves.

Fellow preterists, the hallucinations we commonly have are very serious in nature.

These hallucinations cause us to read verses, blacking out the words and seeing other words in place of the blacked out words.

Futurists claim they have a very good remedy for treating this phenomenon, and say their success rates are very high.(they tell us to believe what we read as we see it, before our imagination overtakes us).

We have our own methods though, which still allows your imagination to run its' course without running wild, but, from time to time, we all seem to relapse back into our hallucinations.

Yours truly, Replacement Theology Man.

Last edited by Sean; 10-12-2015 at 03:48 PM.
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  #3  
Old 10-12-2015, 08:50 PM
Sean Sean is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

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Originally Posted by Sean View Post
A letter to my fellow preterist, replacement theologians!



I have you this letter to inform you that some of us have had to be institutionalized because of increased hallucinations.

I feel we must address the issue before we proceed any further....

We have a special asylum for preterists that become deranged(to keep them from harming themselves and others), that we commit our dedicated preterists to, from time to time.

Folks, we may have to re-commit some of them that are right here on AFF, to the(IOCP) Instituion for "Out of Control" Preterists.

We are compelled to do this from time to time, when EXTREME flare ups of imaginary interpretations occur.(it is hard at this point to distinguish reality from fantasy).

Please be patient with our system, for we are a work in progress. It is very difficult to metaphorize the Bible, without becoming a metaphor ourselves.

Fellow preterists, the hallucinations we commonly have are very serious in nature.

These hallucinations cause us to read verses, blacking out the words and seeing other words in place of the blacked out words.

Futurists claim they have a very good remedy for treating this phenomenon, and say their success rates are very high.(they tell us to believe what we read as we see it, before our imagination overtakes us).

We have our own methods though, which still allows your imagination to run its' course without running wild, but, from time to time, we all seem to relapse back into our hallucinations.

Yours truly, Replacement Theology Man.





Its' time for our next adventure of REPLACEMENT THEOLOGY MAN!!!
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  #4  
Old 10-12-2015, 09:00 PM
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Evang.Benincasa Evang.Benincasa is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

Sean, tell me the truth, you never even knew the word eschatology before you became a member on this forum?
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  #5  
Old 10-12-2015, 02:43 PM
houston houston is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

Sean ripped Galatians out of his bible.
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  #6  
Old 10-12-2015, 07:59 PM
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Evang.Benincasa Evang.Benincasa is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

This guy is talking about hallucinations and he adamantly believes that Jesus is returning with a literal doubled edged Roman sword coming out of His mouth?

Sean what about the woman having the man child, will she being giving birth while a dragon is literally poised waiting to eat the child. I know I asked you this in the eschatology section in the forum, but it seemed you were a tad unwillinging to answer me then. Sean, do you believe that their will be a literal woman seated on a literal dragon, and a literal lamb with seven eyes with its throat slit wide open? Sean, maybe you should really consider that what you excuse others of doing is what you do yourself it is called psychological projecting. It is caused when you see your own bad behavior in others, and excuse them of the same behavior.
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  #7  
Old 10-12-2015, 09:01 PM
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votivesoul votivesoul is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

Hey, Sean. Why not go start a blog over at www.wordpress.com or www.blogspot.com or some other place and write to your heart's content, then just post the links here, if you want people to read them?

It's much easier that way, and it doesn't spam/flood the board.
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2015, 09:02 PM
Sean Sean is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

Its time for the GREAT, the WONDERFUL, the HERETIC....REPLACEMENT THEOLOGY MAN!!!



Hello class, thanks for your undevided attention....

I hate the thought of Israel being restored as you all well know.

I loathe the idea of the fulfillment of Israels' future prophecy, really, because it lets me know my time is short....OOOPS...I prophecied again!!!...sometimes I dont know what controls me these days!!!....

Well, lets start our lesson class. Lets' get rid of that pesky Israel and Gods' promise for them again.....




Ezekiel 36

36 Also, thou son of man, prophesyy unto the mountains of DELETE(the church), and say, Ye mountains of DELETE(the church), hear the word of the Lord:

2 Thus saith the Lord God; Because the enemy hath said against you, Aha, even the ancient high places are ours in possession:

3 Therefore prophesy and say, Thus saith the Lord God; Because they have made you desolate, and swallowed you up on every side, that ye might be a possession unto the residue of the heathen, and ye are taken up in the lips of talkers, and are an infamy of the people:

4 Therefore, ye mountains of DELETE(the church), hear the word of the Lord God; Thus saith the Lord God to the mountains, and to the hills, to the rivers, and to the valleys, to the desolate wastes, and to the cities that are forsaken, which became a prey and derision to the residue of the heathen that are round about;

5 Therefore thus saith the Lord God; Surely in the fire of my jealousy have I spoken against the residue of the heathen, and against all Idumea, which have appointed my land into their possession with the joy of all their heart, with despiteful minds, to cast it out for a prey.

6 Prophesy therefore concerning the land of DELETE(the church), and say unto the mountains, and to the hills, to the rivers, and to the valleys, Thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I have spoken in my jealousy and in my fury, because ye have borne the shame of the heathen:

7 Therefore thus saith the Lord God; I have lifted up mine hand, Surely the heathen that are about you, they shall bear their shame.

8 But ye, O mountains of DELETE(the church), ye shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people of DELETE(the church) for they are at hand to come.

9 For, behold, I am for you, and I will turn unto you, and ye shall be tilled and sown:

10 And I will multiply men upon you, all the house of DELETE(the church), even all of it: and the cities shall be inhabited, and the wastes shall be builded:

11 And I will multiply upon you man and beast; and they shall increase and bring fruit: and I will settle you after your old estates, and will do better unto you than at your beginnings: and ye shall know that I am the Lord.

12 Yea, I will cause men to walk upon you, even my people DELETE(the church) and they shall possess thee, and thou shalt be their inheritance, and thou shalt no more henceforth bereave them of men.

13 Thus saith the Lord God; Because they say unto you, Thou land devourest up men, and hast bereaved thy nations:

14 Therefore thou shalt devour men no more, neither bereave thy nations any more, saith the Lord God.

15 Neither will I cause men to hear in thee the shame of the heathen any more, neither shalt thou bear the reproach of the people any more, neither shalt thou cause thy nations to fall any more, saith the Lord God.

16 Moreover the word of the Lord came unto me, saying,

17 Son of man, when the house of DELETE(the church) dwelt in their own land, they defiled it by their own way and by their doings: their way was before me as the uncleanness of a removed woman.

18 Wherefore I poured my fury upon them for the blood that they had shed upon the land, and for their idols wherewith they had polluted it:

19 And I scattered them among the heathen, and they were dispersed through the countries: according to their way and according to their doings I judged them.

20 And when they entered unto the heathen, whither they went, they profaned my holy name, when they said to them, These are the people of the Lord, and are gone forth out of his land.

21 But I had pity for mine holy name, which the house of DELETE(the church)l had profaned among the heathen, whither they went.

22 Therefore say unto the house of DELETE(the church), thus saith the Lord God; I do not this for your sakes, O house of DELETE(the church), but for mine holy name's sake, which ye have profaned among the heathen, whither ye went.

23 And I will sanctify my great name, which was profaned among the heathen, which ye have profaned in the midst of them; and the heathen shall know that I am the Lord, saith the Lord God, when I shall be sanctified in you before their eyes.

24 For I will take you from among the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you into your own land.

25 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.

26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

28 And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.

29 I will also save you from all your uncleannesses: and I will call for the corn, and will increase it, and lay no famine upon you.

30 And I will multiply the fruit of the tree, and the increase of the field, that ye shall receive no more reproach of famine among the heathen.

31 Then shall ye remember your own evil ways, and your doings that were not good, and shall lothe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and for your abominations.

32 Not for your sakes do I this, saith the Lord God, be it known unto you: be ashamed and confounded for your own ways, O house of DELETE(the church).

33 Thus saith the Lord God; In the day that I shall have cleansed you from all your iniquities I will also cause you to dwell in the cities, and the wastes shall be builded.

34 And the desolate land shall be tilled, whereas it lay desolate in the sight of all that passed by.

35 And they shall say, This land that was desolate is become like the garden of Eden; and the waste and desolate and ruined cities are become fenced, and are inhabited.

36 Then the heathen that are left round about you shall know that I the Lord build the ruined places, and plant that that was desolate: I the Lord have spoken it, and I will do it.

37 Thus saith the Lord God; I will yet for this be enquired of by the house of DELETE(the church), to do it for them; I will increase them with men like a flock.

38 As the holy flock, as the flock of DELETE(the church) in her solemn feasts; so shall the waste cities be filled with flocks of men: and they shall know that I am the Lord.







Whew, that was a lot of deleting. I'm tired, man is it getting hot in here or is it just me?....LOL




Whatever!...Thanks for attending my Replacement Theology class today and dont forget to NEVER miss the next class, or until we meet in eternity




We will see you again with the next adventure of REPLACEMENT THEOLOGY MAN!!!

Last edited by Sean; 10-12-2015 at 09:08 PM.
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2015, 09:11 PM
shag shag is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

Bro., I think you need psychological help. For real. I'm going to make it a point to start trying to pray for you consistantly.
You post this "we" stuff against preterism, and there's no "we", it's just you. You spend all day long, every day, for weeks, months now I guess, posting foolishness. Do you not have a life at all? I'm convinced you are doing nothing but helping preterism with all this nonsense.
How about clocking out for a few months, gather your thoughts, study, and come prepared to debate fulfilled eschatology in a respectable manner. Seriously. Can you atleast sleep and pray on it instead of a quick responsive post?
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Last edited by shag; 10-12-2015 at 09:14 PM.
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  #10  
Old 10-12-2015, 09:38 PM
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Evang.Benincasa Evang.Benincasa is offline
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Re: Replacement Theology Man Highlights

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Originally Posted by shag View Post
I'm convinced you are doing nothing but helping preterism with all this nonsense.


Stop shag! If you tell him the secret he may stop posting about Preterism!
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