Replacement Theology Man Highlights

[Sean]

A letter to my fellow preterist, replacement theologians!



I have you this letter to inform you that some of us have had to be institutionalized because of increased hallucinations.

I feel we must address the issue before we proceed any further....

We have a special asylum for preterists that become deranged(to keep them from harming themselves and others), that we commit our dedicated preterists to, from time to time.

Folks, we may have to re-commit some of them that are right here on AFF, to the(IOCP) Instituion for "Out of Control" Preterists.

We are compelled to do this from time to time, when EXTREME flare ups of imaginary interpretations occur.(it is hard at this point to distinguish reality from fantasy).

Please be patient with our system, for we are a work in progress. It is very difficult to metaphorize the Bible, without becoming a metaphor ourselves.

Fellow preterists, the hallucinations we commonly have are very serious in nature.

These hallucinations cause us to read verses, blacking out the words and seeing other words in place of the blacked out words.

Futurists claim they have a very good remedy for treating this phenomenon, and say their success rates are very high.(they tell us to believe what we read as we see it, before our imagination overtakes us).

We have our own methods though, which still allows your imagination to run its' course without running wild, but, from time to time, we all seem to relapse back into our hallucinations.

Yours truly, Replacement Theology Man.