Now class, welcome to our preterist Sunday School!
I am your teacher today, "metaphor man".
Why dont we start off with a song, okay?
Were un-happy people yes we are...
Were un-happy people yes we are....
Jesus came 2 milleniums ago...
Nothing's changed so I dont know(what to tell you)...
Were un-happy people yes we are...
Okay now, lets turn todays lesson over to "REPLACEMENT THEOLOGY MAN"..
Lets give him a warm welcome(because its warm where he's going)
RT man.....Good morning class...Folks are you tired of Israel getting all the prophetical attention in the O.T.?
Tired of hearing about Gods' promise to them to be restored in the end times?
Tired of hearing about how God made promises to the Fathers and intends to keep them?
Just plain tired of hearing Israel this and Israel that?
Well, you dont have to put up with that junk any longer!
Just join me in METAPHORIZING these passages away!
Just like this!....
Jeremiah 23 King James Version (KJV)
23 Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the Lord.
2 Therefore thus saith the Lord God of
DELETE(the church) against the pastors that feed my people; Ye have scattered my flock, and driven them away, and have not visited them: behold, I will visit upon you the evil of your doings, saith the Lord.
3 And I will gather the remnant of my
DELETE(the church) out of all countries whither I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase.
4 And I will set up shepherds over
DELETE(the church) which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the Lord.
5 Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will raise unto
DELETE(the church) a righteous Branch, and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth.
6 In his days
DELETE(the church) shall be saved, and
DELETE(the church) shall dwell safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, The Lord Our Righteousness.
7 Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that they shall no more say, The Lord liveth, which brought up the children of
DELETE(the church) out of the land of Egypt;
8 But, The Lord liveth, which brought up and which led the seed of the house of
DELETE(the church) out of the north country, and from all countries whither I had driven them; and they shall dwell in their own land.
Yes sir, we just got rid of Israel and its promise to be restored didn't we? Wasn't that easy?
Now class, this is how it's done!
Have fun class, the sky is the limit, when you metaphorize the Word of God to make it what you want it to appear!!!
If you are worried about any negative consequences class, then just remember our new saying.."it's not a salvation issue"...
If you say this 5 times every day, you will convince yourself that if you are wrong, then God will give you a pass on the judgement day!
Again, have fun metaphorizing and we will see you tomorrow for more from yours truly...."REPLACEMENT THEOLOGY MAN!"
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