A One Day Visitation and Funeral

[Miss Scarlett]

With health declining, and we are encouraged to pre plan our funeral, what are your thoughts on a Morning visitation and an afternoon burial. Considering the family and not prolonging the sadness by prolonging the ineventable.

As I know you all so well, you will be kind and considerate with your answers.

[jediwill83]

Sis might I ask what age range you fall into?

I'm totally all for sparing friends and family emotional trauma.

I'm a organ donor and I'm going to be cremated. It's cheaper and just less fuss.

Nothing wrong with doing your own thing.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

With health declining, and we are encouraged to pre plan our funeral, what are your thoughts on a Morning visitation and an afternoon burial. Considering the family and not prolonging the sadness by prolonging the ineventable.

As I know you all so well, you will be kind and considerate with your answers.

What exactly is "visitation"? Is that a memorial service, open/closed casket, etc?

Nothing wrong with a single service: memorial service then everyone goes to the grave site and the burial.

OR one service at the graveside.

It's cheaper and more convenient for everyone.

Most I have been to involve a service at church or the chapel, then everyone goes to the graveside and the burial takes place. Either that, or a public memorial service with a private burial (immediate family only) later in the day after a reception.

The burial helps provide finality and closure for the grieving, I personally would not want a lot of time between a memorial and the burial (me personally).

If by visitation you mean just an open/closed casket with time for friends and family to "pay their respects", it can be kept for say 1 or 2 hours, followed immediately by the memorial and/or burial service. Thus not too much time in between for grieving loved ones to get despondent or overwhelmed by it all.

But really, it depends on the personalities of the family survivors: what would fit them and also be a fitting and suitable way to honour the departed?

Food always helps, too. Seriously.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by jediwill83

Sis might I ask what age range you fall into?

I'm totally all for sparing friends and family emotional trauma.

I'm a organ donor and I'm going to be cremated. It's cheaper and just less fuss.

Nothing wrong with doing your own thing.

We are both past 70, and my husband has numerous health issues, and I have been thinking on these things.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Esaias

What exactly is "visitation"? Is that a memorial service, open/closed casket, etc?

Nothing wrong with a single service: memorial service then everyone goes to the grave site and the burial.

OR one service at the graveside.

It's cheaper and more convenient for everyone.

Most I have been to involve a service at church or the chapel, then everyone goes to the graveside and the burial takes place. Either that, or a public memorial service with a private burial (immediate family only) later in the day after a reception.

The burial helps provide finality and closure for the grieving, I personally would not want a lot of time between a memorial and the burial (me personally).

If by visitation you mean just an open/closed casket with time for friends and family to "pay their respects", it can be kept for say 1 or 2 hours, followed immediately by the memorial and/or burial service. Thus not too much time in between for grieving loved ones to get despondent or overwhelmed by it all.

But really, it depends on the personalities of the family survivors: what would fit them and also be a fitting and suitable way to honour the departed?

Food always helps, too. Seriously.

Esaias, the Latter is what i'm considering, and food does help and the church family usually complies with this. We live in a community near tons of family members, most congregate and become reacquainted those they have not seen for a time. Almost like a family reunion.

[Carl]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

With health declining, and we are encouraged to pre plan our funeral, what are your thoughts on a Morning visitation and an afternoon burial. Considering the family and not prolonging the sadness by prolonging the ineventable.

As I know you all so well, you will be kind and considerate with your answers.

Hi Miss Scarlett , I think keeping it to one day is good. I always like taking the procession to the cemetery as it is a nice tradition. I think some families split it among two days so everyone can attend the visitation in the evening and then the funeral is in the morning for those who are closer friends and relatives and can attend. Some of the more recent funerals I've been to are in the evening with visitation prior and then the immediate family has a graveside service the next day.

My parents are up in their eighties and just mentioned they are going through the process so I took an interest in your question. My Mom said one thing for sure is no drums or guitars!

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Carl

Hi Miss Scarlett , I think keeping it to one day is good. I always like taking the procession to the cemetery as it is a nice tradition. I think some families split it among two days so everyone can attend the visitation in the evening and then the funeral is in the morning for those who are closer friends and relatives and can attend. Some of the more recent funerals I've been to are in the evening with visitation prior and then the immediate family has a graveside service the next day.

My parents are up in their eighties and just mentioned they are going through the process so I took an interest in your question. My Mom said one thing for sure is no drums or guitars!

I think a couple of old fashioned favorite gospel songs accompanied by a Piano would be a winner.

But considering you are responsible for having a grave dug, visiting the funeral home and making all arrangements is tough on an emotional family.

[Barb]

Lately at our church, we have had the wake and the service on the same day/night. It is easier all they way around...

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Barb

Lately at our church, we have had the wake and the service on the same day/night. It is easier all they way around...

Yes it is, and it's so stressful it's easier not to linger on and on. I still like visitation and service in the church. It's so handy and some families stay all night. Now our churches are beginning to lock up just like FH's do.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Esaias, the Latter is what i'm considering, and food does help and the church family usually complies with this. We live in a community near tons of family members, most congregate and become reacquainted those they have not seen for a time. Almost like a family reunion.

Then your plans sound good to go, just need to make sure visitation is long enough to allow everyone a chance to do their thing.