I don't know if what I have to contribute to this thread will apply or not. But I'll share it.
I remember a few years ago when I was attending a UPCI church the focus was on our "Apostolic Identity". Sermons were focused on the rejection of "seeker sensitive", the "relevant movement", etc. It was basically a push to fall in love with holding the traditional Apostolic standards and patterns of worship.
What troubled me was... shouldn't we seek our "identity" in Jesus? Shouldn't HE be our model and example regardless of context? It seemed like they were so caught up with being "Apostolic" that I felt like Jesus would be sitting in the back watching the clock and waiting for the service to be over. It was all about "us"... not about "Him".
I was born again at 13 years old. That was 28 years ago. With every twist and turn my life has taken (some for the better and some for the worse) I've never lost my faith in Jesus. Even when I was "backslidden" I could not deny that I felt Him watching over me always. I couldn't run far enough to get away. I couldn't drink anything strong enough to numb me from feeling Him. I couldn't find a sin that would make Him just leave me alone... and I tried quite a few really bad ones (and a couple really good ones
). It was as though if I decided to dive head first into Hell... He'd already be there waiting on me before I landed. After I became so worn out and battered from my own battle to escape... I just had to surrender. After it all I asked "Why?" I felt the impression of the Spirit say, "Because I love you." It was over. He won the war.
Somewhere I found a relationship with Him that I couldn't shake even after I tried. At 13 years old, I was born again of the water and Spirit. I couldn't tell you much about doctrine. In fact, I didn't even known what made Apostolics different from other Christians beyond the obvious fact that we dressed funny and liked to run and dance in church. And honestly, I didn't even know that I should care... or that there was even a debate. Being Apostolic was "okay", but it wasn't anything I cared much about or thought was all that important. I can't describe it any other way than to say...
I simply fell in love with Jesus.
He became my
everything. I couldn't get enough prayer time, I couldn't read enough of my Bible. I wanted to be in church every time the doors were open. Everywhere I went, the name of Jesus was sure to be part of my conversation with whoever I was talking to. Was I a perfect kid? Nope. I'm still not. But I knew He was perfect. I knew that He loved me. And as a result, I loved Him more than anything. And whenever I sinned...it broke my heart. It still does. And every time He forgave me, I felt my trust in Him and my love for Him grow. And even today, every time He forgives me, my love and trust grows. I could ramble forever on this, so I'll try to cut it short.
I fell in love with Jesus.
Could it be that falling in love with being Apostolic... isn't enough?
Could it be that falling in love with various standards or styles... isn't enough?
Could it be that falling in love with the church... isn't enough?
Could it be that falling in love with doctrine... isn't enough?
And dare I say it... but... could it be that falling in love with your pastor or youth leaders... isn't enough?
When I see kids drift... I can't help but wonder... do they love Him? I mean, do they really, really,
LOVE Him?
If I were to see this in my son as he grew older, the only real advice I'd have for him is... fall in love with Jesus... and everything else will work itself out.
Maybe we need a fresh baptism of the reality of Jesus, a reality we can fall in love with all over again.
Maybe I'm way out there. Please excuse me if I'm just rambling silliness.
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