I wonder, are any of you also adopted?

[berkeley]

Get a court order.


http://www.calopen.org/faq.shtml

[Wilsonwas]

Currently that is 500 + a two year wait for a judge to say yes or no....

I have my hospital one now, which will do with all the other paperwork-

Unless the OBC lists the dad....

[n david]

Originally Posted by Wilsonwas

Mine was sealed, I cannot have my original state issued birth certificate, only the altered short form.

This is a total bummer when I need to get a driver license, passport, and requires telling all this.

California finally reprinted the short form on a long form sheet with the state seal....cost me 100 bucks or so, but works.

Sorry to hear about that. Sounds like a mess to have to deal with.

[n david]

Originally Posted by Wilsonwas

I was....

Found out by my A-mom informing me 1 month before I got married.

Since then.....all known parents bio and adoptive have passed. Which I only know re: bio, because I found my original family.

A few days ago I found my original hospital birth certificate proving that search ended correctly, and showing me my birth moms full name - and my name before it was changed. I know an AoG pastor that was adopted, and she notes some issues that seem comman to these kids. She also is willing to not only talk but blog about it? Seems Apostolics would rather sweep the idea under a rug.....or maybe not?

I also learned that everyone in the church I grew up in knew as well.

So: is keeping a secret for 20 years, also like the lie of omission? Or, is this something that also fell out of fashion in recent times, so that adopted persons are not so cast into secracy, and/or judged?

The Catholic church, quite often would even change peoples birth date, and other untruthful stuff to make it more difficult to patch your way back. Is this the job of a church? Or. Like selling indulgences.....is it just something a church could take interest in?

I can see the state acting in a distrustful manner but this seems not the business of a church. Honering my A-parents wishes was honerable, so I am a bit conflicted as to my view of this. Also seems those secret kerpers, now that all is in the open, still dont want to let go of any info, which seems weird.

Anyone else with a similar story, kind of feel weird about it?

I responded earlier that unless the child was an orphan, I wouldn't want to disclose that they were adopted. That is, of course, if they were very young when adopted and had no memory of any family other than mine.

Since you were adopted and were told later, how did that affect your relationship with your adopted family or your feelings towards them? If you don't wish to respond, I understand.

[Wilsonwas]

Originally Posted by n david

I responded earlier that unless the child was an orphan, I wouldn't want to disclose that they were adopted. That is, of course, if they were very young when adopted and had no memory of any family other than mine.

Since you were adopted and were told later, how did that affect your relationship with your adopted family or your feelings towards them? If you don't wish to respond, I understand.

Perfectly fine question

It seems the Lord allowed me to find them about the time the last adoptive relative passed, there is only a cousin left who has no real feeling either way.

My wife and kids have been accepted like me, into the birth family, who responded rather odfly I guess.....
They accepted me like I was just lost from them for a while.

[Wilsonwas]

The real pain was having to write I dont know on medical forms. If there is something that open adoption gets rid of it is the loss of acess to history, that without you just dont feel like you are quite the same as others.

[consapente89]

My wife and and I adopted our son and daughter this past May, after about a year and a half of being their foster parents. Our little boy came to us when he was about 2 1/2 and we had our little girl a week before her first birthday. They are half siblings and came to us at the same time. We frequently talk to them about being adopted and their biological parents. Sometimes we show them pictures. Our thought process is that we want them to grow up feeling that this is normal, rather than come to a shocking discovery at some point down the road. There will also come a day when we allow them to see their biological parents, except for one father which is unknown.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Wilsonwas

As a kid I once got smart with mom, and said something like - I wish you were not my mom, she got a weird smile and said careful what you wish for. She had not told me yet, so I only later learned just how she really meant that.


Also she and my Aunt did not buy my birth moms story of being of Cherokee blood. They used to joke about this but I never got the joke till it was too late to joke back.....weird.....

Wow! When you remembered that interaction in hindsight that had to be weird.

If i were adopted I would want to find out about my birth parents if for no other reason than to evaluate how much of how I am is genetic and how much enviroment.

When I was a newlywed we met a Pentecostal young couple who were in the process of adopting an adorable little blonde haired boy. About fifteen years later I was asking a mutual friend how they were doing and I was told that it was really weird. The boy was now a teenager and had never met his father but had many of his father's bad traits. Compulsive liar, lazy, etc, etc. For people who knew both his birth father and him it was very disconcerting that he would be so much like his dad he had never met.

[Wilsonwas]

It is weird how much my brother is like me, lots of mannerisms that are similar. And we were seperate for nearly 50 years.

[Wilsonwas]

Do adopted people then mimic the family dynamic of the adoptive family ? Those mannerisms that are not geneticly passed then have to be learned behavior that adds on top of the genetic predispositions.

This is interesting in that as persons - as noted by a previous poster - grafted into the family of Christ - put on these mannerisms from the infilling of the spirit much like Adopted persons do.