There seem to be many Christian singles. Many wish to be married but aren’t! What is the solution?
How does a person find or get a spouse?
To send a lady/lamb among wolves to find a husband seems to be impractical and dangerous!
I prayed about this dilemma. This is I believe what the Holy Spirit gave me for an answer.
In the New Covenant not much is mentioned about how to find a spouse. Why? The Old Covenant explained how Jehovah was involved in providing a spouse.
Can Old Covenant teaching be used while under the New Covenant?
Let’s take Abraham finding a spouse for Isaac. Did he send Isaac out to find a lady to marry? No. Abraham sent a trusted servant to find a spouse. Was Jehovah involved in this matchmaking? Yes. Did Jehovah set-up the events for His choice? Yes.
Genesis 24
Did the marriage work? Yes. Why? Because, Jehovah was behind the matchmaking.
How could this work today?
If a Christian was ready and Biblically qualified to take a mate, they would ask their dad/mom to help them find a mate. What should dad/mom do? Talk with the elder(s) of their church. Get his/her/their help. Is there someone they would recommend in the church? Maybe the answer is no. Next, with the elder’s guidance contact the elder(s) of other churches. Of course all involved should be praying for Jesus’ guidance. A prospect maybe found, but the ultimate choice rests with the single.
Since most Apostolics have no idea how to be led of the Holy Spirit, this way may not totally work. Abraham didn’t have the baptism of the Holy Spirit as today’s Christian. Jesus expects us to be led by Him, but most don’t know how to be led by Him.
You may respond as a single by saying or thinking, ‘I will find my own mate!’; ‘I don’t think my parent's choice would be my choice!’ Looking at the divorce rate among Apostolics, something must be done to correct that problem! An Apostolic making their own personal choice independent of their parents and elder(s) may not be the perfect way. There is wisdom in counsel.
* Elders - Explaination:
http://www.freewebs.com/bibleteach/churchleadership.htm
As a candidate for marriage, you will be measured on:
Spiritual condition
Do you attend the church meetings, but make three trips to the restroom out of boredom? Sure,
most Apostolic churches are not Spirit led, so they are very boring, but you are expected to look
spiritual, anyway..
Ladies seem to want a husband who knows the Bible better than them.
My wife and I, before her sickness, spent much time daily discussing Biblical topics.
Physical condition
Over weight, under weight
Body odor – You do not want someone saying you take a bath every other month, and obviously this is
not the month you take a bath!
Teeth – clean or unclean, some say floss then brush then floss again.
Hair – greasy, unkept, etc.
Politeness
Men, do you open the doors, walk on the street side of a sidewalk? Help her with her chair?
Help her with her coat? Etc.
Ladies do you let a man help you as the cared for female? Or, do you take care of yourself?
Talk
Are you a chainsaw talker? You cut through everyone you know?
Are you a non-stop talker? I met one the other day. After about 3 hours, I got in half a story. Then she cut
me off to talk for another hour.
Are you the silent type? They are considered boring.
Good job vs. Bad job
Working hard and smart is a good testimony.
I remember managing 5 restaurants. I would tell all my staff that I worked harder than all of them, so they would try to out work me. We need to try to be the best at what we do. My son wanted a job in the Detroit area where these restaurants were. I called the owner. Told him my son needed a job. His answer was ‘when can he start?’ My son now had to live up to my testimony which he did.
Factory jobs in the USA may be very unstable. Factories here in the north are closing, regularly. Is education the solution?
Measure yourself before you go out.
Most people’s favorite topic is ‘I’. What is your favorite topic?
Will you act like Jesus? What would Jesus do/say?
1 Peter 2:21
Measuring after the time out
After your time together, do you think you went out with Jesus or Judas Iscariot?
Did you go out with ‘the builder of the brethren’ or ‘Satan the accuser of the brethren’?
Did your new friend think he/she went out with Jesus or Judas Iscariot?
Did your new friend think he/she went out with ‘the builder of the brethren’ or ‘Satan the accuser of the brethren’?
Comments on loosing weight
After a couple of years of marriage, my wife was 100 lbs overweight. Years later, she decided she was going to loose the fat. With God’s help, she lost the 100 lbs in a month and a half by walking an hour a day and eating less.
Being overweight may prevent your getting a spouse, but you already know this. Is overeating sin? Yes.
Changing your mate’s problem area(s) or getting your mate into salvation.
Some think they will change their mate after marriage. They may think, ‘I took psychology in high school/college; I will change him/her after marriage’. I have never met anyone who changed their spouse. A person either wants to change or not. Once they want to change that change may only be possible through God’s help.
Mate hunting
Apostolic single cruises and tours
An Apostolic single lady friend says she has been on many Apostolic cruises. She reports that every time there are about 7 guys to 1 gal, great if you are a guy looking for a gal! She says Apostolic tours are the same.
Many contact me looking for a spouse or with marital problems.
www.freewebs.com/marriagehelp
I can’t personally help you find a mate.
My website does offer Biblical helps for singles.
In Jesus,
Brother Bruce
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