I didn't really say our posts contradict each other, that wasn't my point. I was trying to say we shouldn't distinguish between house church or small group church on the one hand and something else on the other, rather the focus should be on the BIBLICAL MANNER, we should all want to have BIBLICAL church rather than X, Y, or Z style church.
The only structure that should be set is God's structure. If that is taught nobody is gonna worry about "their favorite song" because they will have been taught all singing is for TEACHING and ADMONITION not enjoyment.
One guy making all the decisions is most certainly NOT Biblical church.
Singing? Here is apostolic instruction:
1 Corinthians 14:26 KJV
How is it then, brethren? when ye come together,
every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.
In our meetings, and in the meetings we had with the house church we were originally with years ago, nobody "structured" anything except God. Nobody decided which songs and how many and what order, nobody decided what teaching was presented (and no more). We gathered, we prayed, then anyone could speak, testify, preach, read, sing, etc as they were led. And whatever was said was JUDGED RIGHT THEN AND THERE IN THE MEETING. The elder would usually give a word of exhortation or doctrine. More praying, testifying, etc. Then often a meal together. There was no need for some person to "structure the meeting to prevent people from wanting to sing something" that the alleged "person in charge" didn't want to hear. It's not their personal meeting anyway, it's the Lord's.
But to each his own.