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Re: An Open Letter to Ministers From a Family Viol
I read this and I appreciate the transparency. Let me say a few things about the truth of this experience you posted:
1. There are MANY forms of abuse - some intentional, many, in fact, unintentional - I'll explain later.
2. This applies to men and women, although many men will not acknowledge it - and this is for both marital as well as spiritual abuse.
3. One of the WORST things a minister can say to someone who has been abused is "Get over it" - that is more damaging in some cases then the abuse itself.
4. Trauma can be healed by God - in HIS time - not yours, not mine.
5. Abuse alters a person period. You can't "control" what triggers response, and you need a healthy nurturing atmosphere to recieve correction and instruction.
People, including leaders, mean well for the most part. Sometimes messages are preached and taught from a person's personal walk and past experience with God and the Church. There will always be the human element of personality with delivering a message to the people because His Spirit flows through a human being to minister - remember the Spirit is subject to the prophet.
Some things are very cultural and traditional in spiritual settings regardless of the denial of such. People tend to teach and preach how they were taught - much like family situations where abuse becomes a cycle - it can be this way in otherwise healthy church settings. In my experience, it is not the confession of a weakness or reponse to a leader that can get negative response but rather the leaders response to that confession, particularly when something said or done was what triggered it.
There is much to be said for this - and many testimonials and books written on the subject - thanks for sharing.
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