To the chief Musician upon Shoshannim, for the sons of Korah, Maschil, A Song of loves.
My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Thou art fairer than the children of men: grace is poured into thy lips: therefore God hath blessed thee for ever. Gird thy sword upon thy thigh, O most mighty, with thy glory and thy majesty. And in thy majesty ride prosperously because of truth and meekness and righteousness; and thy right hand shall teach thee terrible things. Thine arrows are sharp in the heart of the king's enemies; whereby the people fall under thee. Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: the sceptre of thy kingdom is a right sceptre. Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows. All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad. Kings' daughters were among thy honourable women: upon thy right hand did stand the queen in gold of Ophir.
Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father's house; So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him. And the daughter of Tyre shall be there with a gift; even the rich among the people shall intreat thy favour. The king's daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold. She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee. With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: they shall enter into the king's palace. Instead of thy fathers shall be thy children, whom thou mayest make princes in all the earth. I will make thy name to be remembered in all generations: therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever.
(Psa 45:1-17)
Psalm 45 is a wedding psalm. It speaks of the relationship between the King and His Bride. We understand this ultimately in relation to Christ and His Church, but according to Paul the marriage of Christ and His Church is the model for the relationship between a husband and a wife. So some lessons can be taken from this Psalm and applied to the marriage of a man and woman.
Remarks:
1. The Groom is described as "fair" ie handsome, but the reason is not because of good looks but because "grace is poured into thy lips". That is, the man's goodly qualities are primarily determined by the words of grace which have been given to him, which is to say by his reception and partaking of the grace of the Gospel. That Word being given to him is then shared by him so that his speech is "grace, seasoned with salt" which is to say he speaks the truth of God's Word. His life is therefore blessed by God, because "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh".
2. He is commanded to gird on his sword with his glory and majesty. He is told to prepare as a warrior for battle with the expectation of victory. A husband is to act like a man, like a warrior ready to go forth and conquer any obstacles. The life of ease is left to others, a husband is setting forth on a campaign of conquest which requires discipline and courage. He is going to "ride forth prosperously", that is to say he is going out there in the world to defeat his enemies with an expectation of success. This requires foresight and planning, if you do not plan for success you cannot expect victory. A man's business is to lead and to conquer, in whatever sphere of life God has placed him.
3. His happiness (the oil of gladness) is dependent upon loving righteousness and hating wickedness. A prosperous, victorious, conquering warrior-groom requires a godly moral character and worldview. As a man conforms his life to the Word of God, so his realistic expectation of genuine happiness increases. Success, happiness and satisfaction comes from doing the will of God.
4. The Bride is instructed to "forget her own people" and to "worship her lord" in order to secure the love of her husband. This means he is to be paramount in her life, the main person she seeks to please, rather than her own parents. This doesn't mean she literally abandons her own family in order to be married, but it means the husband (and by extension her new family) becomes her true family. Her allegiance is to be primarily towards her husband and the children God gives them, not her mom and dad and siblings.
5. The wife is instructed to reverence her husband as if he were a grand and majestic conquering warrior-king. This is exactly what men need, and it results in the husband "greatly desiring her beauty." Lady, you want your husband to be romantic, to always be enraptured with you? Then treat him like a king, and you will be treated like a queen, greatly desired by him.
6. The wife discovers that this relationship is bound to become a cause of envy among her peers. This is not necessarily meant in a bad sense, but in the sense that her peers will recognise she has got a good thing going, and she becomes someone to be emulated, imitated, a role model for other women. A woman elevates her social status not by being "independent" and "career minded" but by being a godly wife to a godly husband. And while the wicked will not understand, and may mock, they do so out of a subconscious jealousy, in reality wishing they had it so good.
7. The woman, in trading her "fathers" for her husband, acquires children. As proud as she may have been of her ancestors, her children now give her pride. This means her children are blessed and will surpass what came before. She is no longer merely the daughter of kings, but the mother of royalty. Her reputation then is based not on her personal beauty but on how awesome and successful and glorious her children will be.
A husband and wife who take
Psalm 45 as an ideal to be striven for, as the model for marriage, who exert themselves in fulfilling the ideals pictured, will reap the rewards promised in this Divinely inspired wedding psalm.