The Eulogy Begins

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

Very good you are so spiritual that you miss the point it's not about television, it's about an organization becoming commercialized.

Step right up, step right up, step right up,
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be THE Pentecostals!
The quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got services after services
You need Bible? we got Bibles, how 'bout a wedding ring?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white raiment sale
And a free water baptism in whatever name you choose, you can sign your life away today
Act now, acts 2:38 now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you water proof baptismal robes
they come in all colors, one size fits all!
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of religious drudgery
Everything must go, going for your business, going for your business
Giving you the business sale!
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man, the preacher man!
Don't settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume, pump up the volume! Sunday School reports galore!!
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate Pentecostalate
Don't be caught without your Mother's Day Memorial glow in the dark pen,
Don't be caught with without your Mother's Day Memorial glow in the darkness!
You can step right up, step right up, ready or not step right up, we are the Pentecostals will step you right up, and dunk you right in, remember fill out this little paper, and don't forget your adress, step right up!

That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts an everlasting lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted standards, it gets rid of preachers,teachers, evangelists and reachers, It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens

And it finds that hot stick that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Hammond B-3 organ,
It spins your bow tie around your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up

'It helps you speak in tongues, holds your hair in a bun,
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow forty days and forty nights for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, shout in it
Run the pews in it, sleep in the pews in it,
Live in it, pay your tithes in it, laugh in it, shout in it
Removes embarrassing liberal Charismatics from off your streets, that's right
And it entertains your Sunday school visitors, it turns a sandwich into a fellowship hall
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your doctrine, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Mormon boy, get rid of your presbyter,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later Tommy Tenney
And it steals your tithes
It gets rid of your tithes, it causes Charismatics to quit smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weight off your mind,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the vistors wallets, take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you long uncut hair, or makes you look like you have long uncut hair
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your tithes and offerings
It's new, it's improved, it's beyound-old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of spiritualality, and the heartbreak of psoriasis,

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates home Bible studies,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your outreach, are you traumatized?
It electrifies, and purifies, wakes up sleeping visitors in the pews
Why put up with painful Charismatic Televangelists any longer? The Pentecostals are here!

We give out redeemable coupons with every baptism, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all home missions guaranteed!
Come on down! The Pentecostals are in town!
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going to give you the business
We are the business!
Televangelisms our new business we learned John Maxwell's business
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it saint of God: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away!!!
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me Ultra Con, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up,
C'mon and step right up

Dear Christian, I didn't miss the point! You accuse the organization of becoming commercialized by what's happened this past weekend. I have been to many campmeetings and I have seen tables full of advertisements! This has happened before a resolution was passed! Buy this book, buy that book...don't overlook this teaching all for a cost! I can only imagine the Apostle Paul coming to town for a "crusade" pre-empted by his entourage "preparing" the convention center with huge screens, multiple seating and " Please don't forget to ' visit ' the literature table, all for an ' offering ' " It seems like certain ones are using a " resolution " to put down on someone when this organization is guilty of it in another form!