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HA!
I had the same response as you CC1, it is too catholic, too traditional, and too "dead" for a UPC church...unless you concluded it with,
"...and the POWER of the HOLY GHOOOOOOST, We know who JESUS REALLY IS, Jesus name baptism, living a separated life, paying your tithes, being in church every time the doors are open, prayer, fasting, and REVIVAL!!!!!!!"
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