Divorce in the church

[OneAccord]

I met a couple in Florida, who, before coming to the Lord, had ben through divorces. They met, were married and came to the Lord. After a while they were invited to participate in the services (sing, teach Sunday School, etc.) They the pastor found out they had been divorced. They were "sat" down and were told they could take no active part in the church. They were told they couldn't be stopped from attending church there, but that, because of their divorces, they'd both spend eternity in hell.

Another church: A young lady came to the Lord whose husband was a cheater, and drug user. He left her... divorced her and remarried. The sister was told she would have to remain unmarried the rest of her life. It was suggested, however, that she could pray that the Lord take her husbands life, so she could remarry.

In regards to the subject of divorce, theres a lot of people who will have to give account for their false teaching.

Originally Posted by nahkoe

I started out thinking about "the next one" but over time came to the conclusion that *I* deserve to be healthy and well. Just for myself.

I almost always enjoy myself when I get out. It's just that push to go do it that's still hard.

And yes, thank you Sister Trouvere.

I'm beginning to see this myself... I'm beginning to remember that I do in fact have value and God WANTS me to have Life more abundant.

I'm not a piece of trash that deserves to be thrown on the side of the road, even though that's exactly what happened to me. God values me so much that he paid a price of his very own blood to be with me, so I MUST have worth... and if he said He came into this world as a man so that we can have life more abundant, then he must really want me to live that abundant life... NOW.

Originally Posted by OneAccord

I met a couple in Florida, who, before coming to the Lord, had ben through divorces. They met, were married and came to the Lord. After a while they were invited to participate in the services (sing, teach Sunday School, etc.) They the pastor found out they had been divorced. They were "sat" down and were told they could take no active part in the church. They were told they couldn't be stopped from attending church there, but that, because of their divorces, they'd both spend eternity in hell.

Another church: A young lady came to the Lord whose husband was a cheater, and drug user. He left her... divorced her and remarried. The sister was told she would have to remain unmarried the rest of her life. It was suggested, however, that she could pray that the Lord take her husbands life, so she could remarry.

Just know that I'm pretty sick of this type of ignorance in the church... but I'll refrain from further comment on these two situations because more than likely, I'll say something really ugly...

[OneAccord]

Originally Posted by Ronzo

Just know that I'm pretty sick of this type of ignorance in the church... but I'll refrain from further comment on these two situations because more than likely, I'll say something really ugly...

You're sick of it? Imagine how God must feel when He hears this kind of teaching. I believe He said something about "spewing..out of His mouth".

Originally Posted by OneAccord

You're sick of it? Imagine how God must feel when He hears this kind of teaching. I believe He said something about "spewing..out of His mouth".

I know.

[rgcraig]

Good thread and good discussion taking place!

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Ronzo

Sometimes they don't murder the wounded, sometimes they seem to simply take pleasure in causing more horrific, disfiguring wounds, and even maiming for life.

• You know, I don't think that purposely set out to hurt those of us who are divorced, I just don't think they know what to do with us.
• If they use us then they get criticisized for using damaged goods.
• If they don't use us we feel more victimized and hurt.
• If they have never been divorced they don't know the pain, and if they are divorced they don't know what to do with the pain.
• They don't 'believe' in divorce, don't 'believe' in counseling then sometimes are not really sure what they believe in.

Question

THERE WAS ONE COMMENT MADE ABOUT DO WE ACCCEPT THE 'INNOCENT PARTY'.
1. IS IT EASIER TO FORGIVE AND ACCEPT THAT PERSON BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T COMMIT ADULTERY?, OR
2. IS THERE A PLACE OF REPENTANCE, FORGIVENESS, AND MERCY THAT LOVE COVERS...OR NOT?

ANOTHER COMMENT WAS MADE ABOUT PEOPLE NOT STANDING BY THE 'INNOCENT PARTY'.

There are some things people need to know about in order to adequately minister to divorced people:

• Choosing sides separates friends, families, church congregations, and 'labels' one or the other, if not both as 'damaged'.
• There is no 'innocent' party. One may not be guilty of adultery but may be guilty of a majority of other things that are just as vital to the success of a marriage. [If only denying a problem exists and not seeking to rectify it]
• All sins, except for blaspheming the Holy Ghost are forgiveable.

There are many things to consider when discussing this subject.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Esther

I can't say. I feel bad for anyone that is going through a divorce and can't imagine anyone piling on when they are in need of help.

It is sad that the church now has such a high divorce rate.

According to research: divorce rates since 1996 have been the highest among fundamentalist Pentecostals - even among ministry. I went to a UPCI Single's Conference inIndianapolis in 1997 and there was a class for divorced ex-Pastor's wives. There were over 50 in attendance. This is a shame. The issues raised were all similar:

• Being alienated from usefulness and fellowship.
• No acceptance of the ex-Preacher's wife in otehr congregations.
• Being labled and made an outcast and an object of scorn.
• Feelings of abandonment and rejection from the church body as a whole as well as the abandonement and rejection they felt from ex-spouses.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

There is no 'innocent' party. One may not be guilty of adultery but may be guilty of a majority of other things that are just as vital to

I believe there are some exceptions to this.

What if one party is into porn or have unresolved problems from their past. Or have a bent to being abusive.

How can that problem be shared with the other party? Surely, you aren't suggesting that the "innocent" party could have done something differently to prevent them from being that way.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by TRFrance

I've heard that statistic, but I strongly doubt it that its accurate, at least as far as Acts 2:38 saints are concerned. That statistic seems to be based on all people who identify themselves as "Christians", or active churchgoers, not Apostolic saints per se.

So since all the polls/surveys on this are mainly dealing with Baptists, Evangelicals, Methodists, etc., that will definitely skew the numbers, but we in the Apostolic church cant look at the published "divorce rate among Christians" as really being accurate for the Apostolic church. As far as I know,theres never been a true poll or survey of the divorce rate among Apostolics. But I'd say the rate is very low. If I had to take a best guess, I'd say probably in the 5-8% range or so, just from what I've observed over the years. (I'm sure some of the Apostolic pastors here can give us a more accurate estimate.)

I answered this in the previous post...how ignorant of you to post that there are no "Christians" except Apostolics, and that the divorce rate isn't as high. Why don't we poll this forum on how many ex-ministry and Apostolic people on this forum are in fact DIVORCED!