Now I've heard it all - Page 6

Rev · #51 02-13-2008, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ogatt

If you aint at church im knocking on your door
if your sick then you can bring your sick lame and lazy carcass to church and get prayed for
if your dead then you can get carried in in a box and we will say a few words over you and plant you since you probably had sin in your life anyway.
if you are thinkin about a vacation and i say its ok then you have to be back for sunday even if its a 2 week vacation then you can turn around and go back to wherever you heatherns go on vacation
as long as its not disney, branson, anyplace with a beach or the north pole.

If you are 2 far to make it back then below is a list of churches you can go to.

Pastor Ogatt

I see that you have the anointment again! Preach!

Michael Phelps · #52 02-13-2008, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev

I see that you have the anointment again! Preach!

Uh, that's ANNOYMENT.

Rev · #53 02-13-2008, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

NO IT WASN'T - - - your bed was not OKALAHOMA!!!! Bed's don't have names!

Mine does.

Rev · #54 02-13-2008, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

NO IT WASN'T - - - your bed was not OKALAHOMA!!!! Bed's don't have names!

And it worked! Kept us from getting beat with that chain he carries around.

Cindy · #55 02-13-2008, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

There are a lot of pastors who are not paid to pastor a church. There are those who work a secular job and pastor a church. Any time that pastor could get away I would say more power to him!

I know that's right. And some pastor's can't afford a vacation.

Cindy · #56 02-13-2008, 01:37 PM

Now y'all got me thinking of that song......."excuses".
I couldn't sing that song and keep a straight face.

My Own Eyes · #57 02-13-2008, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pastorswife

I believe in being faithful to your local assembly, and I know that there is very good reasons that you have to miss from time to time...but as a Pastors wife I have heard alot of different excuses as to why so and so was going to miss Church.

I do believe I have heard the best of the best.

But I would like to hear from others what excuses they have heard or maybe even given as an excuse.

I don't go to church anymore.

But with my last Pastor I decided that I was always going to be honest when he asked me where I was, (notice it was only when he asked), these are ones that I actually said to him way back when:

Pastor: "We missed you at church last Sunday...."

Me: "oh, I was going to go, but I didn't feel like getting dressed"

"I got up early to exercise, and didn't want to stop. Then I was all hot and sweaty and didn't have enough time to get ready"

"I got really into something I was watching on TV, and lost track of time"

"Oh, me and the husband got into a big fight, and I couldn't bear the thought of sitting next to him for a whole church service"

"I decided to go shopping instead"

"I didn't want to get out of bed" (None of that Oklahoma nonsense for me!!!)

My Ex-Pastor usually just laughed and me and shook his head. (I seem to have that effect on people!)

Elizabeth · #58 02-13-2008, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev

Mine does.

Your story reminds me of another I heard.

A minister named his garbage can "spot" and his boat "visitation"

When a saint made them a favorite meal to take home and eat, if the minister did not care for the dish and the saint asked "Did you like my home made casserole??", he said "it hit the spot!"

When a saint asked to speak to this minister or asked where he was, the response was "He is out on 'visitation'!"

Rev · #59 02-13-2008, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Your story reminds me of another I heard.

A minister named his garbage can "spot" and his boat "visitation"

When a saint made them a favorite meal to take home and eat, if the minister did not care for the dish and the saint asked "Did you like my home made casserole??", he said "it hit the spot!"

When a saint asked to speak to this minister or asked where he was, the response was "He is out on 'visitation'!"

When a very well known missionary pastored in LA. they used the "spot".

Or they would give it to the dog, which loved it. And they would say, "that was thoroughly enjoyed.

Elizabeth · #60 02-13-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev

When a very well known missionary pastored in LA. they used the "spot".

Or they would give it to the dog, which loved it. And they would say, "that was thoroughly enjoyed.