A missionary to Spain once said Bro. So and So is in the hospital and we are now going to "orinar" (the formal way to say take a pepe) for him. He should have said we are going to "orar" (to pray for).
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If ye believe not that I AM, ye shall die in your sins. John 8:24
Mone me, amabo te, si erro
No real problem exists over the use of "The Name" in everthing else done in the Church. Why then should there exist great controversy over the use of the "The Name of the Godhead" in water baptism?
Kevin J. Conner The Name of God p. 92
True story.
A young preacher not known for his diction was preaching from Job one night, and should have said "Job was covered with sore boils from head to foot". What came out was "Job was covered with sore bal*s from head to foot".
I cramped from trying to hold in the laughter.
If Administration feels this is inappropriate, feel free to delete.
A well-known IL pastor preached about the "Diery Farts of the Wicked" at Gateway one year.
Another well-known IL former UPC pastor preached in my church about the ten plagues of Egypt. He went through all of them in the same manner. Moses would tell him to 'let my people go'. Pharoah would harded his heart and the (frogs, lice, blood, etc) would come and Pharoah would call up Moses and say, MOSES!!! Get the (frogs, lice, blood, etc) outta here!!!!
Then the hail came......
And yes, he said it....as loud as all the others.....
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
That same pastor was preaching on standards and said, "And you women, if you have on a blouse down to here (points to mid-chest), I'm gonna look! (snickers are heard in audience) And Brother Baker, I know you'd look too!!"
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
When I was a teenager my pastor was explaining to us those little thingys the jews wear on their foreheads with scripture in them. They are called Phylacteries.
But... unfortunately the term being used was no Phylacteries... it was prophylactics.
Somehow... no one cracked a smile during the sermon. Afterward one of the saints explained the erroneous terminology.
When the pastor fell to the floor laughing so hard we all knew the cat was out of the bag and everyone just busted out laughing.
One pastor I had was making announcements and one of the announcements was a shower the ladies were throwing for one of the sisters who was going to get married.
He said that the shower was for the ladies.
He concluded his thought by telling the men "Now brethren don't be coming up here showering with the ladies" lol
I know a pastor who (in his pre pastor days) was pulled over one day because he and his vehicle matched the description of someone who had flashed a convenience store clerk.
When the convenience store clerk saw him they said this was the wrong guy and he was let go.
But... that night... a visitor preacher was preaching and he was talking about how we need to get out there make ourselves known to the world.
He kept exclaiming "You've gotta EXPOSE yourself"
Those who knew what had happened that day kept laughing and the preacher was none too happy about it. They had to explain later on what had happened.
The song leader was a shy man, and not a funny bone in his body.
After the ladies quartet sang a song titled "Sisters in the Lord", the song leader, with all sincerity, closed his eyes and said, "Yes, Praise Jesus we are all sisters in the Lord".
We laughed. He didn't. LOL!
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
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