Divorce - Adultery Thread

[stmatthew]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

What's interesting is that when it is taught ... of course using pre-texts and faulty history ...

It's also taught with an inordinate focus on woman as a matter of submission. How many times does the topic of standards in women's conference goes into dressing modestly or not cutting your hair, or in Pentecostal burka-mode, is a sign of submitting to your husband.

The uncut hair doctrine is centered on this premise. I absolutely believe in the Godly order of things ... men are the head of their homes ... that's biblical ...

but when dozens, perhaps hundreds, of couples argued yesterday before going to church over whether or not her dress was too short to go to church that way ... or "you are wearing too much blush".... or that she needs to put her hair up because everyone is going to find out that she trimmed it ... the issue usually boils down to the husband feeling his authority has been compromised because she won't comply.

The woman becomes the rebel ... who is not submitting ...

It's no longer an issue of being holy unto God but rather the trophy of religious extrabiblical doctrine and systemic sexism that is traced to the view of women a century ago.

Surely UPCI women don't wear blush!!!! That is makeup!!!!!

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

It could be different from state to state, but even though there was cause (or fault) in my divorce the financial piece of it was 50/50 because of the no fault. I wasn't able to get more money even though he was at fault.

This does vary by state. In NC for example adultery is a complete bar to alimony, even though it’s no fault. In DC fault basis is taken into consideration when determining alimony even though it is no fault.

[SDG]

And Carl,

The best way to know whether or not people think you're a Pentecostal male because you're clean shaven and wear long sleeves is the practical but always effective WAL-MART TEST.

Go into Wal-mart, strut your wears and ask, "What religion am I?"

Some will think you are a fuddy-duddy Baptist, a Mormon or a Wiccan ...

Don't fool yourself, Carl ... you look like most men in the general population ... your age .... at Wal-mart.

Furthermore ... for someone concerned about the feminization of the Apostolic liturgical service ... there was a time ... for millenias ... that wearing a beard was the height of being masculine and shameful/effiminate if you did not wear one.

But take a traditionally dressed OP woman into Wal-mart and you will get ...

"She's one of those ..."

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

Absolutely Renda and Ms. B ... it also tells the parties that we don't have to have legitimate reasons to end this ... or work this out ... I'm just out because I can.

I know that courts mandate counseling and other nominal programs at times before granting the divorce but it's just way too easy ...

Marraige is for life and for what it's worth I was committed to that until the very, very end until I had to protect myself legally and seek the best for my kids....

Me too. I was willing to do some things that in retrospect would have been very, very bad for me to do. It was only when he made it clear even those concessions weren't going to work, and then absolutely when I had to leave the house for my own safety, that the divorce (no fault btw) happened. I should have signed the papers a lot sooner than I did, and that's saying something since it was 2 months from the time we separated until the divorce was final. I had to protect myself and my children legally, and the divorce paperwork was the only avenue to do that.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

I really hope you mean I might find a spouse, not I might raise 5 kids alone. lol

And, why would moving to Texas increase the chances of this? Now you have me curious.

It seems to be the norm in some parts of Texas now an upswing in large families. And yes I did mean I hope you find a very loving husband. And remember just because a man is wearing boots and a hat doesn't mean he's a true cowboy.

[Encryptus]

Originally Posted by cneasttx

It seems to be the norm in some parts of Texas now an upswing in large families. And yes I did mean I hope you find a very loving husband. And remember just because a man is wearing boots and a hat doesn't mean he's a true cowboy.

Helps improve the odds if you speak Spanish though

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by cneasttx

It seems to be the norm in some parts of Texas now an upswing in large families. And yes I did mean I hope you find a very loving husband. And remember just because a man is wearing boots and a hat doesn't mean he's a true cowboy.

I grew up around those sort of non-cowboys, and the real ones too. I think I can sort that much out. lol

A loving husband...would be interesting. I think I could handle that.

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by Encryptus

Helps improve the odds if you speak Spanish though

I used to, does that count? lol (spent a few weeks in Mexico when I was 18, understood well enough to translate btwn English and Spanish..oh the things a person can forget in a few years tho...lol)

I've taken half a semester of college Spanish now. Will be taking a 5 credit Spanish class after I move too, or I think at least.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

I grew up around those sort of non-cowboys, and the real ones too. I think I can sort that much out. lol

A loving husband...would be interesting. I think I could handle that.

In the Baptist church one of my kids and his family attend they really stress the importance of biblical families where Jesus is the head of the family.

[ForeverBlessed]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

It could be different from state to state, but even though there was cause (or fault) in my divorce the financial piece of it was 50/50 because of the no fault rule. I wasn't able to get more money even though he was at fault.

I actually had a good amount in my 401(k) because I had always been steadily employed. If it wasn't for the grace of God I would have had to split that with him when he was at fault. It was nothing more than a miracle!

That is the way it was here too Renda… no fault, but every thing is split.
Sounds like God was with you too! Divorce is so sad and often long and drawn out.

I had inherited my home… my attorney warned me going in.. I could by law lose ½ half of it. He said really the best case scenario was that I could stay in the home until I raised the girls, then I would have to sell and give him his percentage. I wanted to protect my girls… I just couldn’t see my sharing custody… I had a long wish list for my attorney…he told me once I was asking for too much.

I prayed that God would be my lawyer in that courtroom… but I needed a certain judge in our county who I knew was familiar with my ex husband… I knew that he would look at the whole picture. I felt he would be the most compassionate. I informed my attorney that I needed this certain judge… he said it was 1 in 5 chance…

Here in our County, when the attorney filed for the divorce, the judge is randomly chosen…by all things but a colored golf tee… my attorney asked me if I had been praying… Oh yeah, I was standing there praying as well. I started crying when the clerk pulled out a golf tee in the color of the Judge I needed.

I was awarded everything, house, both his and my vehicles, full custody of the girls, no visitation unless I granted it… the judge imposed far greater restrictions than I even asked for in the divorce. My attorney told me that was the quickest divorce he had ever seen…(less than 30 min) He was shocked at the outcome.

The divorce truly wasn’t a “no fault”, and God was my attorney that day.

Anyone who knows me though realizes that I have bent over backwards to help my ex husband since our divorce… but believe me, at the time of a the divorce, he was mixed up and with a woman who wanted everything she could get her hands on.