Divorce - Adultery Thread

[DividedThigh]

you are funny encryptus, to funny

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by CareyM

How refreshing...I'm so happy to hear this, Renda!

Pretty neat, wasn't it?

I believe they are getting a real solid foundation to start their marriage. Not to mention all the little tidbits I've preached - lol!

Once right after my divorce, I was talking with her and telling her some nuggets about marraige and she politely told me how would I know since I had divorced. It hurt at the time, but I understood where she was coming from.

A few weeks later she came to me and apologized and told me, "mom, I realize that because of your divorce you better than others knew what to say to keep me from having to go through what you did".

One of those treasured moments!

[James Griffin]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I believe there's a BIG hole in our churches in this area. Couples are told to pray for a spouse, then since it's God's will that's all the instruction they get.

NOT GOOD!!!

My daughter and her fiancé are going through pre-marital counseling with the youth pastor and wife, which I am so thankful for. This past week she called me all excited telling me about their session.

The pastor and wife had set up a table for them and served them dinner (just my daughter and her fiancé). They left them alone to enjoy the dinner, then came back after dinner and started teaching on servitude.

They talked about how important it was to have a servant's heart in a marriage and they watched the portion of "The Passion" where Jesus washed the disciples feet and brought out the point how Jesus was able to do that knowing what Peter and Judas were about to do and applied that to marriage too.

Then, he brought in a basin of water and towels and said it was left up to them, but if they would like to reflect upon what they discussed and then wash each other's feet he was making it available to them. Then he and his wife left them alone.

She said they did it and it was so special - they prayed, cried and applied the lesson deep in their hearts, even to the point she said it was life changing.

I so appreciate someone cares enough to mentor our youth!

If only more churches would do this...

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by James Griffin

If only more churches would do this...

They are missing a perfect opportunity to make a difference.

[LaVonne]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Pretty neat, wasn't it?

I believe they are getting a real solid foundation to start their marriage. Not to mention all the little tidbits I've preached - lol!

Once right after my divorce, I was talking with her and telling her some nuggets about marraige and she politely told me how would I know since I had divorced. It hurt at the time, but I understood where she was coming from.

A few weeks later she came to me and apologized and told me, "mom, I realize that because of your divorce you better than others knew what to say to keep me from having to go through what you did".

One of those treasured moments!

I believe it!

My parents divorced when I was a baby, I have no memories of them together. My mom then quickly remarried the guy who basically raised me. He was abusive to my mom physically, mentally and emotionally...for some crazy reason she stayed with him for 12 years. Then she married a drug addict/alcholoic who drug her into the same pit he was in. I think she's been divorced from him somewhere around 7 years. My dad remarried once, it lasted just a couple of years and he's been single ever since.

I do understand where your daughter was coming from when she didn't like you giving her advice. However, you haven't been one to repeat your mistakes.

I'm sure your daughter and her fiance will have a wonderful marriage...they are sure starting off right!

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by OP_Carl

What rot. Am I required to experienced an abortion before I may express my opinion about it? How about affirmative action? Are only blacks allowed to express their opinions? This form of reasoning leads down a dangerous path.

First of all, extreme distortion of what I said, thanks.

To each his own, I personally think you put yourself in a precarious position when you start making assumptions and judgments over situations that you have never lived through or experienced.

I really pray that you are never in the position of having to eat your words. It can be a humiliating and painful experience and they can be very bitter, especially if they have been delivered in a spirit of spitefulness and unkindness.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

They are missing a perfect opportunity to make a difference.

Renda, I agree, I think pre-marital counseling with your pastor or some form of spiritual leader should be a requirement. It is at our church now.

Also, that the one giving the counseling should have some form of formal training. It sounds like you daughter is in an excellent situation, with really strong leadership. She is lucky, it is less common than some might think.

In our society of overly romanticized theories of love if we don't equip the next generation with a solid foundation to build a marriage on, we are really failing them. I wish that I had had the opportunity to do this, who knows what difference it would have made.

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Renda, I agree, I think pre-marital counseling with your pastor or some form of spiritual leader should be a requirement. It is at our church now.
Also, that the one giving the counseling should have some form of formal training. It sounds like you daughter is in an excellent situation, with really strong leadership. She is lucky, it is less common than some might think.

In our society of overly romanticized theories of love if we don't equip the next generation with a solid foundation to build a marriage on, we are really failing them. I wish that I had had the opportunity to do this, who knows what difference it would have made.

We had that policy at our church in Oregon. We had a wedding scheduled and I was to do it. The couple skipped out after their first counseling session, the counselor called them they didn't return the calls and never showed up for another session. One of the mothers came up to me after a Sunday morning service and wanted to talk about the wedding the next Saturday. I gave her a puzzled look and said, "What wedding?" She was very upset that I wouldn't perform the ceremony. I said "We have a very clear policy here, we think marriage is sacred and not to be entered into lightly, your son and future daughter-in-law seem to consider it very lightly." She went to the Senior Pastor who told her, “There is no wedding here Saturday.”

[DividedThigh]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

They are missing a perfect opportunity to make a difference.

renda my friend i know that hurt a bit when your daughter said that, but she did the right thing in coming back after contemplating what she said and what you were doing, and of course those of us who have suffered are well aware of things to do to protect ourselves and our own, my hat is off to you sis, and your daughter who came back and reconnected, dt

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

We had that policy at our church in Oregon. We had a wedding scheduled and I was to do it. The couple skipped out after their first counseling session, the counselor called them they didn't return the calls and never showed up for another session. One of the mothers came up to me after a Sunday morning service and wanted to talk about the wedding the next Saturday. I gave her a puzzled look and said, "What wedding?" She was very upset that I wouldn't perform the ceremony. I said "We have a very clear policy here, we think marriage is sacred and not to be entered into lightly, your son and future daughter-in-law seem to consider it very lightly." She went to the Senior Pastor who told her, “There is no wedding here Saturday.”

That is how it should be. We have a lot of couples here who don't take it very seriously and then the last month or so before the wedding are scrambling to make appointments to finish all of the required hours. But I have never heard any of them complain about it afterward, they all are thrilled about it at the end.