Divorce - Adultery Thread

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by MrsMcD

It does surprise me that women can struggle with these issues. I'm assuming you mean porn. I can see women struggling with emotional issues but not porn.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life...le.php?id=7209

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw...poct/5.58.html

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life...le.php?id=7209

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw...poct/5.58.html

Wow- the one about the teenage girl breaks my heart.

[Encryptus]

A SOCIOLOGY researcher at Brigham Young University has found that today's college students are much more accepting of pornography than their parents.

John Carroll and his colleagues surveyed 813 students online. The results of the study show that almost all young men and nearly half of young women believe that viewing porn is an acceptable way of expressing sexuality. Only 37 per cent of fathers and 20 per cent of mothers that were surveyed agreed with the younger generation's prevailing attitudes.

Not too surprisingly, the study suggests young people might have been influenced by the easy availability of X-rated pornography on the Internet, even via wireless technology on handheld mobile phones.

"We're in an age of pocket porn," Carroll told USA Today.

Young men are still vastly more inclined to view porn than young women. The research found that 86 per cent of young men reported viewing porn in the last year but that only 31 per cent of young women reported having ever seen porn. Further, 20 per cent of the men said they looked at porn daily or almost daily, but only 3.4 per cent of the women said they viewed porn daily or weekly.

The article doesn't mention whether the Brigham Young study also surveyed generational differences in parents' openness in talking about sex with their kids, relatively broader factual sex education and heightened fears regarding sexually transmitted diseases in recent decades, or shifts in cultural attitudes about sexuality over the same timeframe.

So maybe its willingness to ascribe greater acceptance of pornography by young adults to the baneful influence of the Internet should be regarded with some salt handy. Brigham Young is a conservative Mormon university. And USA Today ain't Rolling Stone.

The study will be published in January by the Journal of Adolescent Research.

Originally Posted by Joelel

That's what I'm saying,if you don't have a good relationship your life is out of control. Anytime a person don't have a good relationship the devils step in and take control.I wouldn't call it fantasy,I would call it lust.

You might disagree with me, and I could be wrong, but I believe there's a difference between fantasy and lust.

Sometimes the mind might go on a flight of fancy, you catch yourself and get your focus back. A fantasy is something one doesn't intend to, couldn't do, and wouldn't do if they had the opportunity. A young person fantasizing about a teacher, model, actor, or musician. A young person fantasizing about the person they'd like to marry. A husband of 15 years who's mind goes on a flight of fancy about some actress in a television show he and his wife watch together. In every situation presented the thought is innocent and the person has no intension to really do anything. That's fantasy.

But don't be fooled though, while a fantasy isn't always lust...a fantasy can turn into lust. So guard your thought life.

But now let's look at lust. Lust is a husband who starts gazing at the young 20 something who likes to sunbathe out in the back yard next door; wearing her "next to nothing" bikini. He thinks about her. He thinks about her a lot. His heart begins beating faster when he sees her jaunt down her front steps as she embarks on her evening run after work. He likes to sit on the porch and sip his iced tea...waiting for her to come home so he can adore her as she does cool downs before going in for a shower. He likes to catch her and talk to her. He watches her laugh, her mannerisms, her walk, the way she moves in her clothes. He thinks about what it would be like if she came on to him and the wife wasn't home. Not only is he willing in his thoughts...he's willing in reality. When his wife isn't home he makes himself visible for the thrill of the possibility with the neighbor woman. He has her in his sights and he's setting the trap...but what he doesn't know is that he's the prey. He's decided just what to say to her to open the door for the possibility. He has her in his sights and now she' his target...but he's the hunted. He's one casual circumstance away from the action...he looks upon her "to lust" after her. He's already committed the adultery in his heart.

It could be he neighbor lady, a woman at work, a woman in choir at church that he jokes with all the time. It's someone within reach and it's something he's willing or desires to actually do. That's lust.

Men...I mentioned watching TV with the wife...

Most husbands and wives have had this conversation. She turns to you and says, "Honey, do you think she's pretty?"

Here's the deal guys...that's when your wife wants to hear you say, "Sure, she's pretty, but she's got all that makeup, lighting, and camera magic. Baby, you're absolutely beautiful without all that. The kids are already asleep. What do you say we DVR the rest of this and spend some time together."

Marriage takes effort and sometimes there are golden opportunities to make it magical...you just have the catch them.

Originally Posted by MrsMcD

Your post is great! I use the statement that Jesus forgives so we have to forgive. Not just with this issue but with any issue.

I definitely agree that it is more of a problem than one might think. It seems to be such a secret problem. People will ask for help with alchohol and drug problems but it seems they are too embarrassed to ask for help with porn. Our Sunday School teacher has suggested that our men read "Every Man's Battle." He told the Sunday School class that if a man tells you that he doesn't battle lust, he is a liar.

It does surprise me that women can struggle with these issues. I'm assuming you mean porn. I can see women struggling with emotional issues but not porn.

If I were personally in this situation, I would hope that God would give me the strength the second women you described. Plus, I really need to be that person for my dearest friend. It's somewhat hard when you are close to a situation though. I just believe that Jesus forgives so we have to also.

April had to cool down quiet a bit before talking to her husband. She got so mad she cried and was ready to kill him. But she knew if she talked to him when he got home and unleashed her wrath she's say things that she might regret. So she waited a day or two (I think it was a day or two). But she waited until she could calm down and be calculated and deliberate in her approach.

[Encryptus]

http://xxxchurch.com/gethelp/women/resources.html

http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intim...g/a0000115.cfm