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06-02-2008, 02:24 PM
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My Family!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Collierville, TN
Posts: 31,786
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Quote:
Originally Posted by cneasttx
My favorite is I went into the ladies room and before I turned the light on I heard water splashing. I thought that was odd, turned the light on. There was a squirrel in the toilet with it's paws on the seat and it's tail splashing in the water. I screamed, people rushed in. Noone knew what to do. My teenage daugther went to the car grabbed a blanket and scooped it up and took it outside and released it.
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That is hilarious!!!!
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Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
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06-02-2008, 02:26 PM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig
That is hilarious!!!!
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It really was, especially all the men standing around trying to think of what to do. 
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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06-02-2008, 02:28 PM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig
That is hilarious!!!!
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Also this was right after services and I had to wait until another lady got through. She said, how did I miss a squirrel in the toilet. We all busted out laughing.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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06-02-2008, 05:22 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Has anyone ever seen a woman come out of the bathroom with her dress tucked up in her hiney--and NOT told her?  I HAVE. hehe
Was it wrong of me to let it go like that? ...Yes. I am a terrible, TERRIBLE person.
THAT makes me a Gold Star Member of the BFM Club. (Whose members are mostly nonexistent[here]. Sniff.)
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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06-02-2008, 05:50 PM
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Shaking the dust off my shoes.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Nunya bidness
Posts: 9,004
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
I didn't really think this was funny at the time, but..................... I used to sit in the back row of the church. This 85 year old sister got up to go to the bathroom, and either thought the coast was clear or couldn't hold it in any more. She started farting to the beat of every step she took! When she fired off the first round, I was like, "what?????" I turned around and there she was, makin music to the beat of her own footsteps; fart, fart, fart, fart, fart!  She was old too, and took short steps everywhere she went! I never said a thing to her about that day!
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06-02-2008, 05:53 PM
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Crazy father of 4
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Now? Phoenix, AZ. Before? Newark, OH, Wyandotte, MI, Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,926
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
We had a lady standing talking to my brother, the pastor at the church, and while talking to him her panties feel to the floor and she walked right out of them like she did not know they had even fallen off.
Our church was converted from an OLD BARN. We had the biggest oak beams holding it up running willy nilly around the place. One service a young lady took of running the isles with her EYES CLOSED. Yep you guessed it, right smack into one of those big oak beams just as she got to full speed. The funny thing is it was right in the front of the church so EVERYONE saw it. She did just like the cartoons, feet and hands up when she hit and she slid down the thing and fell out flat on her back. Now the bad news, she must not have been in the spirit because she broke her collar bone.
My dad then said that the Bible speaks of watch and pray and he wanted everyone to practice that ESPECIALLY when they worshipped.
__________________
Life is .............
I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
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06-02-2008, 05:58 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaxfam6
We had a lady standing talking to my brother, the pastor at the church, and while talking to him her panties feel to the floor and she walked right out of them like she did not know they had even fallen off.
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Well, that's the only dignified thing TO do! ROFL!!!!!!
Quote:
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Our church was converted from an OLD BARN. We had the biggest oak beams holding it up running willy nilly around the place. One service a young lady took of running the isles with her EYES CLOSED. Yep you guessed it, right smack into one of those big oak beams just as she got to full speed. The funny thing is it was right in the front of the church so EVERYONE saw it. She did just like the cartoons, feet and hands up when she hit and she slid down the thing and fell out flat on her back. Now the bad news, she must not have been in the spirit because she broke her collar bone.
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Yikes!
Quote:
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My dad then said that the Bible speaks of watch and pray and he wanted everyoneto practice that ESPECIALLY when they worshipped.
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That's funny--my dad used to say the same thing.  We had this guy in our church who would flail his arms and hit anything or anyone in his vicinity. So my Dad told him to leave his eyes open. LOL! I guess he thought he couldn't be spiritual if his eyes were open.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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06-02-2008, 05:59 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rico
I didn't really think this was funny at the time, but..................... I used to sit in the back row of the church. This 85 year old sister got up to go to the bathroom, and either thought the coast was clear or couldn't hold it in any more. She started farting to the beat of every step she took! When she fired off the first round, I was like, "what?????" I turned around and there she was, makin music to the beat of her own footsteps; fart, fart, fart, fart, fart! She was old too, and took short steps everywhere she went! I never said a thing to her about that day! |
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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06-02-2008, 05:59 PM
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Crazy father of 4
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Now? Phoenix, AZ. Before? Newark, OH, Wyandotte, MI, Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,926
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
One service we had one of those Holy Ghost blowouts. Two olde ladies stood facing each other with fingers pointing just jabbering away in tongues like they were in an argument. That as funny to watch.
My brother was preaching one night and his zipper was not zipped up. I was sitting on the front row and he kept walking back and forth in front of me. Of course I noticed his shirt showing through his pants zipper and decided to tell him. So everytime he came by I would say, just loud enough for him to hear,  ur fly is undone". I must have said it a dozen times before he realized what I was saying and immediately he dodges behind one of those infamous beams and says "everyone raise your hands and close your eyes and give God some praise".
At another church we went to a guest minister was preaching and must have realized his fly was open and went behind the pulpit to zip up. Only thing is our pulpit had a glass front and everyone saw it. People started laughing and he realized he was caught. It really threw him off and he had a terrible time finishing that message.
__________________
Life is .............
I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
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06-02-2008, 06:01 PM
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Crazy father of 4
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Now? Phoenix, AZ. Before? Newark, OH, Wyandotte, MI, Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,926
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Re: Humorous things that have happened in Church
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissBrattified
Well, that's the only dignified thing TO do! ROFL!!!!!!
Yikes!
That's funny--my dad used to say the same thing. We had this guy in our church who would flail his arms and hit anything or anyone in his vicinity. So my Dad told him to leave his eyes open. LOL! I guess he thought he couldn't be spiritual if his eyes were open. |
I think there are many who have that notion
__________________
Life is .............
I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
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