Your experience when you dropped "dress standards"

[SavedLou]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

There is a prominent poster on here who is a friend that attends a church where he himself lanquishes the lack of emphasis on the HGB. Where service after service goes by and it is not preached nor recieved. And it starts where??????

And in retrospect, I know of some smaller ultra con churches where it's rarely preached b/c of so much preaching on standards.

[SavedLou]

I used to bother me that I was not raised UPC b/c I (& hubby) are the only ones in our families in it. But now I'm grateful b/c I think it's allowed me to really think for myself. I have been on a roller coaster ride with standards since I came into the UPC.

After first receiving the HG, I studied the scriptures on standards until I felt "convicted" but I really believe now that I was simply trying so hard to see it that I did. I gradually adopted the standards that are kept at our church (we are very moderate overall). But then I got even more conservative and really "convicted" or so I thought...to the point that I was very judgemental at times. I went for about 4 years like this...no makeup, no cut hair, no short sleeves, no going to movies.

Then one day I literally started wondering why I was doing all this as far as it lining up with scripture. I prayed and read about some things and gradually started wearing a moderate amount of makeup again, trimming my hair, going to movies, etc. I still wear skirts/dresses except when I am doing something where they interfere...I wear long shorts to the lake or working in the yard. I don't have a desire to run out and pierce my ears again, but I now look at people with a whole new attitude. I don't look down on those who have strict standards or those who have none at all. I KNOW this is not just me "backsliding" b/c I haven't in my heart...I'm faithful to church, teach Sunday school, etc. Also, it's interesting that several other ladies at my church have all gone through the same thing at the same time...none of us discussing it with each other, just gradually noticing the change.

I sincerely feel that it's all about moderation and balance and I finally feel like I've found that in my life. As one poster said earlier, I too believe that in a few years there will be another split between the traditional oneness and those who don't preach standards. It's already happening.

[CC1]

SavedLou,

Great post. I think some of these posts you ladies are making are going to really speak to some lurkers who probably feel all alone in going through that same process you did.

Some people try to make that change into something evil, that it is a result of moving away from God but as your post and others on here have shown it is exactly the opposite.

There are a few shallow women just looking for an excuse to stop adhering to a "standard" but for most it is not something taken lightly.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

Bro. Price questioning is healthy I would never discourage anyone from questioning. That is not what is being celebrated here on this thread. I am sorry to say that folks do backslide first in heart then in actions.

I agree with this statement. The problem is, I don't agree that just because a person quits doing something they were never convicted about in the first place that they are "backsliding in their hearts."

I joined a church whose dress code was MUCH stricter than my own personal beliefs. The entire time we attended there I adhered to the dress code. The moment we left, I stopped adhering to it. Now, was I backslid "in my heart" because I never took those standards to "heart"? Or am I still the exact same Christian I was before I ever joined that church?

The doctrine of separation from the world and unto God is being attacked daily. But God is going to have a separated people. Their mindset-lifestyle-recreation-and yes their appearance is to demostrate they belong to Him.

I agree we are to be separate. However, I think according to scripture, it is our behavior and our love for one another that makes us the MOST different from the world--not our appearance. I agree, though, in our culture where skin is in, we will naturally look different by being modest, like it or not.

I have observed the majority of folks who abandon the standards of outward holiness in time abandon the doctrine also.(maybe not all but the GREAT majority). Many do not even attend Apostolic churches.
Absolutes are maybees.

I think it depends on their reasons for doing so. I have seen it happen as well, but not every time.

It is important to point out that many people who abandon standards attend non-Apostolic churches because they are no longer welcome in Apostolic churches, not because they really believe trinitarian doctrine, etc.

[Rico]

Standards of outward holiness. Where is that found in the Bible? lol

[Blubayou]

I have really enjoyed reading this thread. This topic has been handled with dignity and maturity. Several years ago after much soul searching and Bible searching and prayer, I came to the conclusion that many of our "standards" were traditions and not salvational. I too try to use the guidelines of moderation and balance in all things. I still look like a "Pentecostal" when I am out in public, and I still attend a Pentecostal church. But I do trim my hair, wear light makeup, and wear skirts when I go out in public. When my activity calls for it, gardening, around the house, exercising, fishing, boating, camping, I wear modest slacks or carpi's. I do not hold a postion in my church, but when I did followed all of the standards out of respect and obedience to my pastor.

[AmericanAngel]

Originally Posted by CC1

SavedLou,

Great post. I think some of these posts you ladies are making are going to really speak to some lurkers who probably feel all alone in going through that same process you did.

Some people try to make that change into something evil, that it is a result of moving away from God but as your post and others on here have shown it is exactly the opposite.

There are a few shallow women just looking for an excuse to stop adhering to a "standard" but for most it is not something taken lightly.

I'm only on page 12. I promise I will finish.
I wanted to say that I have cried, (good cry). I'm glad that I am not the only one in the boat. This has been theiputic (sp?). I can Identify with mosts here testimoneys. I have one too. Only a few close friends know how I really feel. I keep these thoughts to myself. Bro. Epley, St Mark, I love both of you and Sisters that hold strick to standards, with the love of the Lord! My heart hurts just the same Bro. Epley in just the opposit manner. There are more Bro. and Sis's. than you think that are struggling with this. I don't believe it "evilness", or "rebellious" thoughts that is causing this "change" in the upc.
Bro.CC1, this is helping me. This whole thread is annointed. There is no arguing, only confessing our deep, in my case, fears.

[Rico]

I'll never understand why we've managed to build a culture of fear in the apostolic church. Doesn't make any sense to me. People treat God like He's just waiting to beat the living daylights out of us for having questions. Not to be preacher bashing, but I place the blame for this solely on the shoulders of the ministry for using fear to get people to "line up".

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rico

I'll never understand why we've managed to build a culture of fear in the apostolic church. Doesn't make any sense to me. People treat God like He's just waiting to beat the living daylights out of us for having questions. Not to be preacher bashing, but I place the blame for this solely on the shoulders of the ministry for using fear to get people to "line up".

Rico,
I don't think the blame can solely be on the shoulder of the ministry - it's a culture and we all cultivated it by our judgmental attitudes.

American Angel,
I too appreciate the spirit of this thread - it's been very civil and no fussing and fighting.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Rico,
I don't think the blame can solely be on the shoulder of the ministry - it's a culture and we all cultivated it.

American Angel,
I too appreciate the spirit of this thread - it's been very civil and no fussing and fighting.

Sister, in churches where preachers use fear to get their point across, the people use fear when dealing with others. In churches where the preacher doesn't use fear tactics, the people don't use them either. People follow the example laid out for them. It's only natural for them to do so. See what I'm getting at?