Quote:
Originally Posted by StMark
Some of them have seen some unbelievable stuff - I wont go
into it but they became hurt by it and that lead to disilusionment.
When a leader fails, some people can't ever seem to trust again.
Others do recover though - maybe it depends on a persons
emotions I don't know
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St. Mark,
It depends on the depth of the hurt or the type of hurt that was inflicted. It isn't that the person can't 'forgive' especially if they have a relationship with God, but they cannot forget to the point of blind obedience and submission to a leader, or group of leaders associated with the hurt.
For myself, it is very difficult for me to excuse or 'put up with' this type of leadership again. Now, I know that not all leadership within a same church or organization are wrong, but they tend to function under the same paradigm as the group as a whole.
Does it have to do with an individual's emotions? You can't rule that out. Does it have to do with an individuals thought processes - you can't rule this out either.
I tend to raise children, and minister in leadership much the same way. Discipline is utilized when necessary but not as a way to manipulate and control others. I always allowed my children the freedom to experess their thoughts and feelings and do things as long as they didn't harm themselves or others. When I have had to be rigid I could be but this is as last resort not the rule.
In leadership I try to train leaders who could take my job if I left. This is contrary to the thought paradigm of those I had been a part of off and on through my life. Many leaders are afraid to empower others would take away from their role or position and they feel 'threatened' by anyone with leadership abilities beyond their own.
Example:
I was part of a progressive assembly who wanted to reach out beyond their walls to the community. They bought a professional tri-fold advertisement that listed all the ministries that people in the community could access through this particular assembly.
I was part of the ministry team and asked to do "Divorce Recovery" as a support group for church members as well as community. When it came out, I noticed what I thought was a typo or an oversight. I e-mailed the Pastor and said that in the tri-fold my licensure credentials had been left out and they might want to reprint this if it was to affect the community. I was state licensed and worked for the largest mental health agencies in the state. This would be an outreach tool to get community people to want to come to such a group instead of listing that it was being lead by Sis. Rhonda Cyprus.
The scathing e-mail I got in return was...[paraphrased] Who did I think I was? It isn't about me. I hadn't proven myself enough in the church...yada yada yada... Typical statement from insecure leadership. It isn't about me, not about them...it was about outreach to a community that had excellent mental health services and would not come to an obscure church for a divorce recovery group led by a Sis. Cyprus, but would come to one led by a licensed professional that was known within the community.
This is what I mean by paradigm thinking of a certain group of leaders. It is God's church and God equips and uses those he chooses to and not those who leadership chooses that would promote themselves, and not promote kingdom ministry.
I said all that to say...these kind of hurts are not personal to me, because I feel it is about them...but for me to attend churches with this paradigm of thinking would just increase the chances that the 'issues' I have will be revisited time and again making the sore spots even more sore.
Others may not agree with me, and many leadership won't but others will get it and know what I mean.
Sincerely,
Rhoni
Re: How can a true beliver walk from truth
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