What Would You Say? - Page 15

stmatthew · #**141** 07-30-2008, 07:45 PM

My personal opinion. They should go elsewhere.

There will forever be an underlying attempt to get her "into the ship" if she is in a church that teaches standards, and yet she does not keep them. Its just the law of the jungle. They may be the nicest people in the world (I only visited there once way back), but there WILL be that underlying attempt of evangelization. Better to go ahead and go elsewhere where standards are not believed if she does not intend to submit to the teachings of that particular local church.

CC1 · #**142** 07-30-2008, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stmatthew

My personal opinion. They should go elsewhere.

There will forever be an underlying attempt to get her "into the ship" if she is in a church that teaches standards, and yet she does not keep them. Its just the law of the jungle. They may be the nicest people in the world (I only visited there once way back), but there WILL be that underlying attempt of evangelization. Better to go ahead and go elsewhere where standards are not believed if she does not intend to submit to the teachings of that particular local church.

I tend to agree with this. I think even if one has no direct desire to be involved in "platform" ministry, teaching, etc after a while being in essence a second class citizen will wear on you and get old.

I beleive Pianoperson has first hand experience with this scenario.

Jermyn Davidson · #**143** 07-30-2008, 09:32 PM

First of all, he really shouldn't have moved without locating a church first--especially since he has a family. This is why I visited Christ Church and was ready to move to Nashville, when my ex and I were still together.

Now that he is down there, it would be better for him to NOT join this church.

Unless the Lord changes her mind, she will not change her mind-- causing pain for her, the children and ultimately him; it's just a matter of time. There will always be an undercurrent of "she really isn't one of us" once her life style becomes known. The children will feel it. He will feel it. Please, tell him to find another church, if the wife is not inclined to make this change.

It's not like we DON'T KNOW what the UPCI stands for when it comes to this.

Carpenter · #**144** 07-30-2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pianoman

I had a good friend that moved from Nashville to Florida a few years ago. He is an anesthesiologist, and his family has been looking for a good Apostolic church. He was raised Apostolic and attended Christ Church while in Nashville.

He called me a few days ago and told me that they found an Apostolic church that runs about 300-400 people. The church is not UPC and from what he explained to me, is ultra-con.

They really enjoy the services, and his children are getting involved and have made some good friends there.

The problem is that his wife wears pants and see nothings wrong with it at all. He hopes that someone doesn't approach his wife about it, because she is very strong in her opinion about it! She wears dresses to church, but that is the only time she does. It hasn't become an issue yet, but he feels that soon it may be an issue. He called to ask what he should do!

What would you tell him?

I would tell him to be very very careful because one day those social relationships will lead them into the church community and culture. Some would say that is not a bad thing, however, if the culture and the community drive a change in behavior instead of true and intellectually honest conviction, then it is nothing more than putting on a rubber nose so you won't feel weird while riding all those little bicycles around in a circle with your friends.

Yea, I just said what you think I said...

Carpenter · #**145** 07-30-2008, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CC1

I tend to agree with this. I think even if one has no direct desire to be involved in "platform" ministry, teaching, etc after a while being in essence a second class citizen will wear on you and get old.

I beleive Pianoperson has first hand experience with this scenario.

There is only so much being seen by others looking down their noses that you can take. You will either cave because of the shame or you will be driven out.

This is why churches can boast, that their pastor doesn't have to preach standards, the saints do a good enough job.

Carpenter · #**146** 07-30-2008, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

Let it go until it does become an issue... MEANWHILE support the church and be friendly and pay big bucks in tithe and offerings!

That is actually a good point, sometimes pastors have a tendency to allow a little more grace to those who pay big tithes...I suppose it goes back to their Catholic roots.

lovinglife · #**147** 07-30-2008, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

So lovinglife do you think this lady would fit in okay if she chooses to wear pants outside the church.

If you don't feel comfortable answering that I completely understand.

Actually (and again speaking to the pastor is probably the best) we have ...when all are there about 80 kids which about only 20% have parents in the church and we treat them all with love ....some parents come and never intend to change but the kids have and are major members in the church....we don't ask for the mom or dad who refuses to change to leave...... .(we aren't the FLDS).......ask your friend to look around our church you will see people at all different stages spiritually..this is a growing church and we have alot of new converts and on any given Sunday can have 20 first time visitors...people from all different cultures and everyone is treated with kindness...........The pastor of this church is a kind man however there is a platform/leadership policy ....but this is not a church who pushes people away if someone doesn't change in two services....we are not in the habit of being mean to anyone no matter how they look and will be invited to the same functions in the church everyone else gets invited to....... however our stand on holiness does NOT change.... I hope this answers the question...btw i tend to ramble

CC1 · #**148** 07-30-2008, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpenter

There is only so much being seen by others looking down their noses that you can take. You will either cave because of the shame or you will be driven out.

This is why churches can boast, that their pastor doesn't have to preach standards, the saints do a good enough job.

So did you "cave"?

Carpenter · #**149** 07-30-2008, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CC1

So did you "cave"?

People looking down their noses at me has zero effect, kind of like Kryptonite to Spiderman...wrong superhero, dude.

jaxfam6 · #**150** 07-30-2008, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pianoman

He feels that it is inevitable that it will happen, and he wants advice how to be proactive or reactive.

I told him to chill!

They will probably not give his family a problem with just attending. He understands that they can never be used in leadership. He is OK with that...I think!

And with his job they probably will not bother them over it to keep the tithes and offerings rolling in.

did I just say that? Oh well it is probably the truth