Self-Mutilation/"Cutting"

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

I have an eating disorder, for the most part I'm able to manage it (after a whole lot of years of working on it, and the reasons for it), but when I find myself in a situation where I feel out of control, I go right back to it. Right now, it's definitely evident, but not like it has been in the past. I don't consider it a thing of the past, even though I'm definitely managing things better right now than I ever have during a "storm" before.

I also smoke. Not all the time, only when I "need to". I am a fortunate person who doesn't get addicted, for me quitting is simply not buying another pack. This is by far the most prominent behavior for me, it's always been what I immediately turn to when I start sinking (I also have a history of depression, and smoking is how I've medicated that in the past) or when I'm suddenly in a situation that brings up a lot of skeletons from my past.

I am learning better ways to deal with pain, I've realized more about the nature and character of God lately than I could begin to expound on. For those of you who've been praying, this is where you know your prayers have made a difference. I have begun to learn to trust God. I have been learning that letting go of hurt is very safe when it's God I'm letting have it. There is far more comfort available in God than anything else I've ever turned to, and the more I turn to Him, the more He proves Himself to me, the more I find myself able to trust Him, the easier it is for me to turn to Him and not other things.

Thank you Nakoe for being so transparent. Many of us are praying for you.

Love & Blessings, Rhoni