Quote:
Originally Posted by mfblume
I have personally cast devils of homosexuality out of people. It is demonic. These things cannot simply be "healed" or overcome. Spirits make it more of an issue. Some may mock away, but I saw it is an issue of the demonic, first hand. It's too unnatural, anyway. Romans 1 makes it a severe sin. I honestly do not know if it can occur without demonic influence. |
I won't mock, but I am going to have to say that I don't think all cases are demonic in nature. I'm not sure any are...but I won't go so far as to say for sure they're not.
I've already given the impression, I'm sure, that I'm no stranger to homosexuality. And since I can't quite work out how to say what I'm trying to say without admitting to this openly... I identified as bi-sexual quite openly for a lot of years.
When you say that these things cannot simply be healed or overcome, you're selling God very, very short.
I nearly drowned in this, I knew it was against the Word of God, but I knew it was who I was. I couldn't change it. It was as much a part of me as breathing and my heart beating. I also knew better than to go to my first pastor with this revelation. I'd heard him say a lot of the same things said in this thread so far. The pity doesn't help. The judgment definitely doesn't help. I tried to just deal with it on my own, trust me, that wasn't going to work. I couldn't just compartmentalize it and pretend it wasn't there. That would have consumed me. See Ray? I know where he's at, not just because I can guess or imagine. That he's dealt with this for YEARS, alone, I really meant it when I said I'm in awe of that.
My 'family' has been instrumental in me dealing with this. Some people here have known. My pastor knows. Some friends know.
The statement "Jesus loves you, and there's nothing you can do about it" (Hi Griff, I assume you'll be reading this whenever you get power again
) was for me, key to beginning to heal. He was right when he said that. God loves me, He'd pursued me, wooed me, captured my attention and made clear His desire for a relationship, all while knowing full well who I was. I could run from that forever, I could do anything, and that fact would never change.
I almost literally threw this skeleton at my pastor. I'm pretty sure it was included in like the 2nd email I ever sent him. See, it hadn't been in any closet, I'd lived quite openly before coming back to God. I couldn't quite figure out how to make this skeleton fit in the closet with all the others. I knew that's what you were "supposed" to do when you come back to church and God. Shove all the unmentionables into a closet and let them rot there. Or, that's sure the idea I had at least.
My pastor's words rocked my world. It took me MONTHS to finally understand what he was trying to say. "It's not that it doesn't matter, but *it doesn't matter*." He was right. Even if I had actually done something about the desires of my heart, even if I had actively sought out a relationship and acted on it, it would never have changed how God felt about me. That acceptance, "this is who you are, but it's not who you will become" was so important to me.
I've been using the past tense in this post because while I was thinking about this earlier I realized I couldn't place the last time I'd had thoughts or desires cross my mind. Do I think it's really a thing of the past? I don't know. What I do know is that this was all consuming for *years and years* of my life. That I can't remember when, or what, the last thought was is amazing to me.
And a note regarding sin... Understanding God's Love in no way gives license to sin. It's inspired me to learn what He desires from me, and to put every effort into being what He wants. That He desired me when I was who I was, and was where I was, is beyond comprehension. He is my God, Holy in every way, that He would dirty Himself to pick me up from where I was is awesome beyond words. I've prayed so often, "God you already knew who I was, what I was, and I can't change it. I've tried. If it needs to be changed, if you don't like it, don't want it, have something better in mind, You have to change it."
*edited to add*
My sig line is more than a verse to me, it's very, very intimately personal. It's my story, past, present and future.
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