Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella1
My family and I switched churches about 19 months ago after going to another church for 14 years.
For about 9-10 month, we sat and worshiped at the new church. No one really bothered us and we really did not try to make friends. Then we joined the choir and praise team. There was one lady who became a absolute thorn in my side. I literally cried every night when I went home because I had to sing with her. But know one knew except my husband how I felt.
Even though I am a confrontational person, I decided to just wait it out and see if the problem was with me or her. Because I have such a strong and outgoing personality, I assumed that she thought I was going to take over her spot on the praise team or something.
Well, all these months later and she is still not my favorite person She has not jerked the microphone out of my hand in quite awhile or asked the sound me to turn me down. I leave the lady alone. I very seldom speak to her. I go the the platform and give God all I can. Then I listen to the preaching and go home.
I am not at church to make friends, although I desire to and do have lots of buddies. If one person affects me negitivally, I just remove them from my circle of people. I do not like to offend anyone, although sometime people do say when they first meet me, they are petrified of me. ????? I honestly don't know why.
So yes. Everyone has that special Someone that is going to be that "person you just can't stand".  |
Bella,
I appreciate how you handled the situation. That was the wisest and best way!
I am not a confrontational person, but I will take up for myself if confronted. I don't recall ever getting into a heated altercation, at any time, since being in church. I just verified that with my husband and he said he doesn't recall that has ever happened. Just wanted to be sure! LOL
After some of my posting here, I wasn't sure anyone would believe that!
The worse thing that I have done is remind a pastor's wife that her own mother said that she was a smart aleck. I was very ladylike when I addressed the issue.
I thought she might need to know that. Don't mess with my children - ever! I also thought that if I wasn't in church I would like to waylay her.
But, I got through that one and they moved and are tormenting another congregation.
Praise the Lord!
My very worst fault is that I am not perfect, but I am a perfectionist. I want everything organized, laid out and on schedule. I'm sure that does annoy people. I want no excuses. Frankly, people are so lazy and unproductive these days. That is very annoying to me. Just do it and do it right - the first time!!!!!!! Whew, I need something to drink!!!
I don't go to church to make best friends, because I do draw a circle around my privacy and, well, even though invisible, you can't cross it. In doing that I am not the one that gets the calls concerning gossip, etc. That does save me some aggravation. Hey, it works for me.
One of my good qualities, even though I'm a private person, I do try to include everyone when we are together. I try to make everyone feel welcome and involved. Even when we were doing our Easter program, I made sure that all actors were happy with the fabric colors, texture, etc. in their costumes. That is a little way, for me, to show that I value them as a person. I don't know if they see that or not, but it's something I need to do for myself.
I have seen a tremendous insecurity in this woman, for whatever reason, and happened to hear her speaking about a book she was reading on that very subject - being intimidated. That allowed me to know it was a big issue for her. After I get past her defensive attitude, by not feeding it, I'm sure she will see that I am not here to hurt her in any way.
For the most part, in all honesty, we've been through a rough time in the last three or four years and I think I forgot to be on guard for - "the love of many shall wax cold." I don't want that to happen to me. This was a wake up call to watch my attitude and spend more time with God that He would fill me with His love, thereby, extending that love to others. God is good. I am thankful He has helped me nip this in the bud!
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