Do you believe the innocent party in a situation - Page 3

*AQuietPlace* · #21 05-13-2009, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueeyes

For the longest I understood and was taught if an innocent party is faced with divorce because of adultery then that person is released from the vows and free to remarry. Recently, I had a discussion with a minister and that was brought up. Now I feel confused about the matter. I just want to know the truth and what God thinks.

Good luck with that! This is one of the most controversial subjects around.

To study it for yourself, look up the phrases 'no longer under bondage' and 'save for the cause of fornication'. That will get you started.

*AQuietPlace* · #22 05-13-2009, 11:03 AM

I do definitely believe in 'innocent party'. Yes, both people in a marriage have faults, they're human. But they also BOTH had the ability to choose adultery, but only ONE did, usually.

Some people want to say - 'Well, yeah, he committed adultery, but SHE....' ummm.... do you think HE was perfect??? And yet SHE didn't choose the devastating act of adultery to deal with the situation. Adultery can be avoided no matter HOW difficult the marriage situation is.

If one person walks away from the marriage, the other one is innocent of that act. Not a perfect human, but innocent of the 'crime' of severing the marriage.

I've seen a lot of good people married to some pretty rotten ones. When the rotten ones committed adultery, walked away, whatever... yes, the other party was 'innocent'.

Pressing-On · #23 05-13-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChTatum

1st Cor. 7:15

Did you mean I Cor 7:5?

"Defraud (to deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (self-restraint)."

It looks like both parties would be guilty - the one depriving and the one seeking elsewhere and committing adultery.

rgcraig · #24 05-13-2009, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Did you mean I Cor 7:5?

"Defraud (to deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (self-restraint)."

It looks like both parties would be guilty - the one depriving and the one seeking elsewhere and committing adultery.

Is depriving a sin?

Pressing-On · #25 05-13-2009, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Is depriving a sin?

The scripture seems to imply that sin will rear it's head for the person deprived. It seems that the "depriver" had their hand in the fall of the "deprived".

blueeyes · #26 05-13-2009, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Did you mean I Cor 7:5?

"Defraud (to deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (self-restraint)."

It looks like both parties would be guilty - the one depriving and the one seeking elsewhere and committing adultery.

Being deprived is not always the case for adultery, there are great people who have given their all in marriages and yet you still find spouses cheating.Faithfullness is a matter of the the heart of each individual person and God.Tho two are united in marriage each person is responsible for their own salvation and committement to God and to their spouse.We can't control things people do, we can however control our reaction to it.

Pressing-On · #27 05-13-2009, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueeyes

Being deprived is not always the case for adultery, there are great people who have given their all in marriages and yet you still find spouses cheating.Faithfullness is a matter of the the heart of each individual person and God.Tho two are united in marriage each person is responsible for their own salvation and committement to God and to their spouse.We can't control things people do, we can however control our reaction to it.

I agree with you. But to begin the discussion, I think it would be good to pull out all scripture references and work from there.

I know a good many women who have spoken to me trying to complain only to find out it was their fault - depriving - for reasons such as - too tired, too busy, etc. Excuses they need to work on and not point the finger at the man. Just sayin'.....

But, again, I do agree on your point that we are all responsible for our own decisions and actions.

It is a very complicated issue at best. For my beginning contribution to this thread, I simply wanted to point out I Cor 7:5 for discussion.

MissBrattified · #28 05-13-2009, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Did you mean I Cor 7:5?

"Defraud (to deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (self-restraint)."

It looks like both parties would be guilty - the one depriving and the one seeking elsewhere and committing adultery.

People don't only cheat when their spouses are depriving them sexually. In fact, most of the guys I've known who cheat have pretty wives who give them whatever they want.

And what about men who cheat on their wives with men?

IF a person deprives their spouse, it can lead to temptation, but, 1. that's still not an excuse, and 2. that doesn't mean every time someone cheats it was because of sexual deprivation.

blueeyes · #29 05-13-2009, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

People don't only cheat when their spouses are depriving them sexually. In fact, most of the guys I've known who cheat have pretty wives who give them whatever they want.

And what about men who cheat on their wives with men?

IF a person deprives their spouse, it can lead to temptation, but, 1. that's still not an excuse, and 2. that doesn't mean every time someone cheats it was because of sexual deprivation.

That's exactly what I was trying to find the words to say! Great way of putting it!!

Pressing-On · #30 05-13-2009, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

People don't only cheat when their spouses are depriving them sexually. In fact, most of the guys I've known who cheat have pretty wives who give them whatever they want.

And what about men who cheat on their wives with men?

IF a person deprives their spouse, it can lead to temptation, but, 1. that's still not an excuse, and 2. that doesn't mean every time someone cheats it was because of sexual deprivation.

How do you really know that the pretty woman gave him everything he wanted? How can we know that and would she actually be honest about it?

I'm leaving the men with men thing alone - YUCK!!! LOL! Again, I'm trying to focus on this particular scripture reference.

I'm coming from the angle, after talking to a lot of women, that it appears to be their fault. At least the ones that have complained to me. They want to complain about him and his needs BUT after listening for a while, I find out it is their fault and they are trying to put the blame on him.

Of course, we can go into how a man makes you feel like an object and is a total turn off, but that isn't what I'm discussing here.

You are right, Abigail - It is NOT always the reason someone cheats and I have never said that is was, but let's focus on the scripture, okay?

IMO, it appears that if we do "deprive" another we are opening up that person to be tempted by Satan. Is that a sin on the "depriver's" part? That is the question. Let's focus on that.

The scripture bears out that either party WILL be tempted by Satan if they are deprived. That means that God knows, even with a decision, it can happen. OR does the scripture, without actually saying, only focus on the weaker person being deprived as the one tempted? Is the one committing the adultery the only one to blame or is the "depriver" also to blame? IMO, the scripture appears to be pointing at the "depriver" as being party and part to the sin.