Do you believe the innocent party in a situation

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

It's just my opinion, PO. I can't say for a fact they were honest (I'm only thinking of two women that I know personally), but it's based on the idea that they weren't prudes in their marriage BEFORE they found out their husband was cheating on them. Capiche? They talked about sex in warm, friendly tones. LOL! IOW, they didn't even know it was an issue.

They didn't know it was an issue - most people that take advantage of each other don't normally see an issue before it hits them broadside. I've talked or rather listened to complaining women not even seeing what they are doing to NOT help the situation. That is very frustrating. You have to be careful to listen and allow the conversation to unfold where they indict themselves and see it. Some don't ever see it.

But you can't leave all the possibilities alone, because you made a sweeping statement. You said, "It looks like both parties would be guilty - the one depriving and the one seeking elsewhere and committing adultery."

That statement assumes that where there is adultery, there is deprivation as a direct cause. That isn't what the scripture says.

I'm not sure I agree with you here. It speaks to the "depriver", IMO. Or rather, it addressed the "depriving" party first. The buck stops here, so to speak. It's like - which comes first the chicken or the egg? lol

Marital problems usually have contributing factors from both sides, but when a person actually commits a sin, or is immoral, it is unfair to blame the other party for their choice. Scripture places a possibility for one party to be blamed for a temptation. That's not the same as blaming them for the other person's sinful choice.

The scripture is pointing to the "depriver" to be careful they don't lead the other or open the other up to temptation. I know that I could open my husband up to severe temptation if I deprived him. Is he an honest man, yes! Is he a good man, Yes! Is he a man? Yes, in every way! I would have to put some of that blame on myself.

That scripture does not illustrate that there are no innocent parties.

I have no idea what this is about. I never said any party was innocent.

You're being bossy. I'll focus on whatever I like, TYVM!

The very next verse lends some context:

I Corinthians 7:6 "But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment."

To me, Paul was saying, "Here's some wisdom--but it's my personal advice, not a commandment."

Meaning that--it's not a SIN for a woman to not have sex with her husband and vice versa. Is it wise? NO!!!!! But a sin? I don't think so.

Well, I certainly want to stay away from emotional drivel and opinion on this issue and I wanted to stay focused on I Cor 7:5, as THAT is my point in the whole conversation. Some of the opinions were not focusing on what I was asking. Since I'm in the conversation, I get to point out what I want to focus on, Sistah!!! LOL!

Thank you for pointing out verse 6 : I cor 7:6 "But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment."

Does he say that he is not making it a commandment because in his circumstance he has no right as a single man? I Cor 7:7 "For I would that all men were even as I myself..."

Does that mean that you can discount what he is saying, even though the directive would be important in a marriage? Why would he say it, if he didn't think the hearers should obey? Is he not saying, in effect, "I can't exactly instruct you as I am single, but this is how, with permission, I tell you it should be." He sounds like he got instruction from someone with experience in the matter and conveyed that to the married hearers. That's how I take it.

No, it doesn't say they WILL be tempted. It just shows there's a possibility. Some women are cold fish, plain and simple. Right? They don't like sex--they just tolerate it. There could be reasons for it, but all the compassionate apologetics aside, they don't like sex. So, if their husbands "deny" them sex, are they definitely going to be tempted to cheat? No. LOL!!! They'll be relieved for the reprieve.

If it is possible, it can happen. The wording, IMO, appears to bear out the very real possibility.

They could certainly be tempted to cheat with someone that fulfilled an emotional or other need their husband apparently is not giving them. If a women doesn't like sex she is either with the wrong man or a freak. LOL! If she's with the wrong man, then she sought a relationship out for herself and did not rely on God - what God joined together, let no man put asunder. I feel very strongly that God has the spouse he wants us to spend our lives with. If we choose one on our own - we don't really know, in our hearts, what we really need for the long haul - God will always know.

Regardless, I am the first to advocate this scripture be followed within a marriage. I know women who use sex as a weapon, and that should never happen in a Christian relationship. HOWEVER, sex is supposed to be something done willingly--not forcibly. So I don't think even God will command it to happen. If He did, husbands could force their Christian wives to comply. (by telling them they have to obey God and give them whatever they want) I'm sure everyone here has enough common sense to know that "defraud not" doesn't mean men and women can be inconsiderate of each other just to have their sexual needs met.

Sure, we all have good common sense. My question was - does the "defrauding" go further, in marital issues, than just not feeling like having it today?

I understand what you're saying. Really. BUT, I don't think overwhelming data supports your conclusions (as to the causes of adultery), AND I don't think the scripture you're pointing to says that if someone commits adultery, it was because his/her spouse defrauded them. It basically says that defrauding one another can cause temptation.

Exactly - "defrauding one another CAN CAUSE temptation" - therefore - the admonition is to the "defrauder", IMO.

On a sidenote: Today's men wouldn't know how to deal with OT sex. They only got it about 2 weeks out of the month ANYway.

They did? Solomon certainly didn't and I'm very sure Abraham didn't. lol

I understand what you're saying. Really. BUT, I don't think overwhelming data supports your conclusions (as to the causes of adultery), AND I don't think the scripture you're pointing to says that if someone commits adultery, it was because his/her spouse defrauded them. It basically says that defrauding one another can cause temptation.

The "defrauding" is not going to cover all cases and causes for adultery. I never said that it would!! I was simply wondering, again, if the defrauding is going further into our responsibilities in humility and submission in ALL things - ALL problems - ALL circumstances - ALL! Not just, "I have a headache", but cheating, dishonesty, lying, pornography, and adultery.

Okay, really have to run! LOL!