How were you treated when changed your standards?

SeekingOne · #1 06-14-2009, 04:22 PM

My mind comes to what happened when you figured out that the Bible doesn't have what you thought was there because it had been repeated so many times. But the flip side would be interesting too, for those that stepped into "Holiness" doctrine from living normally. Of course, usually those that adopted the "Holiness Standard" left a sinful life and came to God it seems.

Anyway, were you shunned, did your family say you were going to hell, did you lose everyone you knew and had to start over? How did you find a new church? Really, anything you want to share would be helpful.

It seems that when you leave a church with outward standards, it doesn't matter that you have the inward standards that the Bible DOES require. Suddenly, even though they are supposed to love their enemies, you are not worthy of love any more. It hurts when you see that they love the rest of the world and not you.

Most importantly, how did you deal with it and get over it? I know it is obvious that we need to care more about what God thinks than what men think, but we are human and we do desire to have people accept us and love us, especially the family of God.

Thanks to all who take the time to answer these questions.

CC1 · #2 06-14-2009, 04:50 PM

Like unwelcome dirt under your fingernails.

RandyWayne · #3 06-14-2009, 05:24 PM

Lost. Totally and utterly lost.

HopePreacher · #4 06-14-2009, 06:08 PM

it's been so long it's hard to remember anything but the good part. It's been nearly 30 years. I found that my true friends remained my friend, even though I could not minister in their churches, but that was OK because I realized the constraints they were under. Some who I thought were my friends were more committed to what others thought of them than they were friendship.

I found that there was a whole new world of believers that appreciated the gifting that God had place in me and the call of God. I have never lacked for fellowship or support, but there are times when I have been nostalgic about the "good old days."

I have known some who have grown bitter over the rejection they felt when they changed but I purposed to respect those who didn't understand my position and honor the consecrations they had made to God, whether they accepted me or not I accepted them as co-heirs of the faith. I think that has helped me to keep from becoming hard and cynical.

Much more to be said but I'll stop here.

Sinatra · #5 06-14-2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HopePreacher

it's been so long it's hard to remember anything but the good part. It's been nearly 30 years. I found that my true friends remained my friend, even though I could not minister in their churches, but that was OK because I realized the constraints they were under. Some who I thought were my friends were more committed to what others thought of them than they were friendship.

I found that there was a whole new world of believers that appreciated the gifting that God had place in me and the call of God. I have never lacked for fellowship or support, but there are times when I have been nostalgic about the "good old days."

I have known some who have grown bitter over the rejection they felt when they changed but I purposed to respect those who didn't understand my position and honor the consecrations they had made to God, whether they accepted me or not I accepted them as co-heirs of the faith. I think that has helped me to keep from becoming hard and cynical.

Much more to be said but I'll stop here.

What a lovely attitude!

SeekingOne · #6 06-14-2009, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HopePreacher

I have known some who have grown bitter over the rejection they felt when they changed but I purposed to respect those who didn't understand my position and honor the consecrations they had made to God, whether they accepted me or not I accepted them as co-heirs of the faith. I think that has helped me to keep from becoming hard and cynical.

Much more to be said but I'll stop here.

I think you have the attitude you do because you focus on the love you have for them, instead of the lack of love they show you.

ManOfWord · #7 06-14-2009, 07:06 PM

I've never looked back once we left. I did it because I believed, and still do, that I was following the Lord. It has proved to be one of the best decisions I have made.

Men can usually leave and have no problems when they're seen in public. Women, on the other hand, get shunned far more, I think, because of how their appearance changes. I NEVER told or instructed or encouraged my wife to cut her hair. I left that totally up to her.

I've been generally treated well by District officials over the years. That's because I don't see any of them at the beach! LOL

Margies3 · #8 06-14-2009, 09:14 PM

At first I had alot of friends who wanted to remind me regularly that I was in danger of hell-fire. But that was ok, because I knew what GOD had said to me and that was enough.

Over the years, my friends have all come to respect my walk with the Lord and to understand that I never put them down for living the standards that they feel they need to in order to please God. But in return, they have to understand that if I were to go back to those standards it would only be because somehow someone would have talked me back into believing that I had to live that way in order to earn my salvation. I never did live standards because I believed that GOD cared. I believed that MEN cared, but not God.

When all was said and done, I have lost one friend over leaving the standards. Only one. That friend told me that when I was ready to repent and admit that I was wrong, she was willing to be my friend again. Oh well, that kind of friend I will pray for, but I don't need her in my life. Everyone else has remained as good a friend as ever.

RandyWayne · #9 06-14-2009, 09:18 PM

We lost a lot of acquaintances.... but no real friends. They're still there (the friends). The acquaintances acted like friends before we left, but looking back, they were the biggest back-biting, complainers in the church -until they had something bigger to complain about, which was us! LOL

HopePreacher · #10 06-15-2009, 04:11 AM

I have learned to love folks where they are and trust that they will grow in their understanding. I have watched people who were literally in the gutter, homeless and drug addicted, as they give their heart to the Lord and begin to walk in faith. I have watched people who were "in the truth" all of their lives get stuck at certain points in their walk and never move beyond that. I have learned to love them all and walk with them as far as they are willing to walk on this journey of faith.

Much of my family is still in the UPC and I respect them for their walk, I do have a problem with the attitude of some who believe I am lost because I don't do it their way, but I praye that they too will see the truth and take just one step outside the incubater in which they have lived.

I'm just rambling now so I'll put this on hold.