Pastor's Wives

snicker1986 · #1 01-19-2010, 02:05 PM

Greeting Brothers and Sisters....

I'm a new poster, and new member (although longer time lurker). Just a bit of history....I have begun attending an apostolic church since my wife and I married in 2008. I have sepnt many years in mainstream Christian churches, including being a leader and elder in them. I like many things but certainly find myself on the liberal side of the pentecostal spectrum theologically.

This thread is not about theology, but about apostolic church practice. I'm curious about the biblical basis for the pastor's wife being the number 2 authority in the church. In past churches, I am used to a leadership team, of men and woman, leading (under the pastor) to head various ministries and programs.

In our church, the pastor's wife (who is a wonderful woman) has complete control of all ministries (under her husband) including church administration, children, youth, and music. She alone decides who is allowed to serve in what position and in what ministry. She seems to handle most discipline type issues as well.

She is a wonderful Christian sister, but this model underutilizes many people's leadership and spiritual gifts. Is the common among all AP churches?

Thanks in advance!

Trouvere · #2 01-19-2010, 02:10 PM

does she possibly have the gift of administration or governments or helps working in her life or is there the possibility that she also is pastor but you belong to a denominational type pentecostal church that does not feel women can take on this role or gifting? Or possibly you cannot see that she has been delegated these tasks because the other
elders are shirking their roles? Just some thoughts.

rgcraig · #3 01-19-2010, 02:12 PM

Not sure it's common, but I know it is out there.

I do not agree with it at all.

snicker1986 · #4 01-19-2010, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trouvere

does she possibly have the gift of administration or governments or helps working in her life or is there the possibility that she also is pastor but you belong to a denominational type pentecostal church that does not feel women can take on this role or gifting? Or possibly you cannot see that she has been delegated these tasks because the other
elders are shirking their roles? Just some thoughts.

Thanks for the thoughts. She does have a gift for what she does, but she overworks herself. Their are many gifted people who would love to help. It is a fairly conservative church organization (probably to the right of the UPC), so there is definitely no pastor role (in their structure). My wife is a life long member, so I get some insight from her that this is just her nature

rgcraig · #5 01-19-2010, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snicker1986

Thanks for the thoughts. She does have a gift for what she does, but she overworks herself. Their are many gifted people who would love to help. It is a fairly conservative church organization (probably to the right of the UPC), so there is definitely no pastor role (in their structure). My wife is a life long member, so I get some insight from her that this is just her nature

Not knowing all the facts, it almost sounds like she needs the control.

RandyWayne · #6 01-19-2010, 02:20 PM

It sounds like she is just drawn to government/community organizing type roles. If she wasn't involved in the church so much she would probably be heavily invested in the local PTA or whatever other orgs are popular now.
And it is common for people who are good at something to have problems delegating. After all, why delegate when you can do it better yourself?

Margies3 · #7 01-19-2010, 02:51 PM

In my years in the Apostolic church, I was a part of 4 different churches and sat under 6 different pastors. We did not experience this in any of the situations I was in. Every pastor and his wife was different, but in none of the cases was the pastor's wife #2 in control.

In one case, the pastor's wife was very involved on the state and national level, but still had time to do whatever was asked of her within the local church. However, she was NOT in charge of every little thing.

In most of the other cases, the pastor's wife was very much a helpmeet to her husband, and involved in the church to about the same extent as most of the other members of the church. Some taught a Sunday School class. Others led the Women's Group, as needed. All were available if a disciplinary issue came up and they needed to sit in the office while the PASTOR handled it. But I don't know of any of them taking control like your pastor's wife.

I know that these things happen. But I'm like Renda. I don't believe they are the norm.

DAII · #8 01-19-2010, 03:10 PM

I have seen this model and it undermines the work of God ....

Having witnessed it firsthand ... it leads to confusion and eventually resentment by members and eventually the pastor towards this Jezebel spirit.

missourimary · #9 01-19-2010, 03:50 PM

I've seen it in one (or maybe two) churches of four I was in. It really seems to depend (in my experience) on the church, the pastor's view of a woman's "place", and the woman's abilities and desire for position. Sometimes the pastor's wife takes these roles when the church is small and has just never let them go. Sometimes the saints look to her for leadership and she feels obligated. I'm sure there are other possibilities too. It isn't healthy, but I've never seen anyone change such a situation, either. I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

Sherri · #10 01-19-2010, 04:08 PM

A church can never really grow very large if the pastor (and/or his wife) keep tight control of everything that goes on. You can only micro-manage so many people and then you're overwhelmed and growth has to stop. I think it's a matter of trust. If you trust your people, you will release control to them. I can't imagine having control over every department - who does what, when, etc. etc. etc. I would lose my mind!