Sex Scenes

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

I don't "make it brief" because I feel it it is wrong, but more as a courtesy to her. That is not to say that I would watch with tongue hanging out making the Lenny & Squiggy kissing faces and groping motions with my hand if she wasn't there, but the thought that this is a "battle" is to declare the very nature of man (not the built in "sin" nature but the way God created us period) a sin.

[Socialite]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I don't believe this is "every man's battle", and I don't think I'm being naive. Some men struggle in this area, others struggle in other areas. We all have similar issues with the flesh, but we don't all have the exact same triggers.

As far as looking at other women goes--I've never been bothered if my husband notices a pretty woman. If he didn't, I would think he was just pretending just to make me happy, and he doesn't need to do that. If he stared or leered at a woman in a lascivious way, that would be one thing, but to just notice, and say, "She's really pretty"--I'm likely to just agree with him and move on. I think women who overreact to their husbands noticing a beautiful woman are just plain silly. Unless your husband has given you tangible reason to distrust his motives and actions, then let it go. Men are going to notice beautiful women. As long as they keep that a "notice" and don't let it mature into "lusting", there's not a problem. I would differentiate between noticing beauty and lusting by saying: When you imagine the woman you noticed naked, or yourself with the woman you're noticing, that's lust.

That said. I know my husband and I know that he's going to be turned on by graphic sex scenes--at least some of them. Ergo, I DON'T want him to watch them, and out of respect I wouldn't rent a movie that had something in it that would be a stumbling block for him.

Apparently the word "Battle" is confounding many on here.

To suggest that sexual temptation is "some men's" battle is most assuredly naive. RW has previously explained that this is the way men are wired. The eye gate is not one dimensional. The thoughts that we "shew away" and "cast down" are ugly, distorted and quite embarrasing. This was the reaction of most women who read "Every Man's Battle." They were appalled at what they read about their men.

Doing the look-up and look-down is what I'm referring to. You are right not to make a deal out of it, btw. The more open a couple can be the better, and the more it avoids secret sin.

Walking out of the front door in the morning puts men on a battlefield of images, situations, scantily dressed women, etc. The eye is the man's gate. Some do a great job with integrity in this area, and some need help.

The science of men being more visually-oriented is backed up by decades of sciece. One wouldn't have to go too far on Google to find a scholarly article supporting the idea. There are scores of them.

Thanks for answering the second part about what you do with sex scenes. Seems it's just so difficult to find a movie these days without just one questionable (sex) scene.

[Socialite]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

I don't "make it brief" because I feel it it is wrong, but more as a courtesy to her. That is not to say that I would watch with tongue hanging out making the Lenny & Squiggy kissing faces and groping motions with my hand if she wasn't there, but the thought that this is a "battle" is to declare the very nature of man (not the built in "sin" nature but the way God created us period) a sin.

Why do you think she'd be upset by it? Why do women get upset by it? Just surface jealousy? If a man did this inconsiderately in front of his lady (or she got word he was doing this to her friends when she wasn't around), should she consider that akin to you gazing at Mt. Everest or taking in a sunset?

At what point does that look illicit sexual cravings or desire? Why the desire to keep the stare longer?

I would assume you are aroused at the site of your wife. This is our primary way to be aroused as men. Is it acceptable to open that gate up to others as well under the guise of "it's normal?"

[Socialite]

Anthony Mangun led a session called "Straight Talk to Men."

It was applicable to every man in the room. An area where we need grace and help.

On the one side you have men that have eliminated bad habits. On the other side, men who are caught up in the web of pornography, sex addiction, etc. But make no mistake, all of us were on the same battlefied, and none of us too far removed from the other.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Why do you think she'd be upset by it? Why do women get upset by it? Just surface jealousy? If a man did this inconsiderately in front of his lady (or she got word he was doing this to her friends when she wasn't around), should she consider that akin to you gazing at Mt. Everest or taking in a sunset?

At what point does that look illicit sexual cravings or desire? Why the desire to keep the stare longer?

I would assume you are aroused at the site of your wife. This is our primary way to be aroused as men. Is it acceptable to open that gate up to others as well under the guise of "it's normal?"

Again, I DO make a conscious effort to really not even look (as much) when she is around as a courtesy to her -not because it is wrong. SHE doesn't even think it is wrong. This is done for the very same reason that I do not bring up past dating relations, not because THEY were wrong but because she is now my one and only. She KNOWS I dated many other women just as I know she dated other men. We have openly and in a matter-of-fact way talked about other women "being pretty" under many different scenarios and she is not in the least upset about it. In fact she would be worried if I didn't notice such things.

I think you are attacking some giants when in fact they are nothing but windmills.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Anthony Mangun led a session called "Straight Talk to Men."

It was applicable to every man in the room. An area where we need grace and help.

On the one side you have men that have eliminated bad habits. On the other side, men who are caught up in the web of pornography, sex addiction, etc. But make no mistake, all of us were on the same battlefied, and none of us too far removed from the other.

Do you have a link or cliff notes?

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Apparently the word "Battle" is confounding many on here.

To suggest that sexual temptation is "some men's" battle is most assuredly naive. RW has previously explained that this is the way men are wired. The eye gate is not one dimensional. The thoughts that we "shew away" and "cast down" are ugly, distorted and quite embarrasing. This was the reaction of most women who read "Every Man's Battle." They were appalled at what they read about their men.

Doing the look-up and look-down is what I'm referring to. You are right not to make a deal out of it, btw. The more open a couple can be the better, and the more it avoids secret sin.

Walking out of the front door in the morning puts men on a battlefield of images, situations, scantily dressed women, etc. The eye is the man's gate. Some do a great job with integrity in this area, and some need help.

I haven't read the book "Every Man's Battle", so let me just restate my thought this way: I don't think every man struggles significantly to remain moral and retain purity, or at least, some obviously struggle more than others. I do also believe that maturity plays a part (and not just in the sense of aging past hormonal surges).

[crakjak]

Let it be said that most men have some challegenes, when it comes to dealing with their sexually. It may just be low grade challegenes, and it doesn't necessiarly lead to infidelity, but it is a challegene none the less.

Ladies, you must understand that God did make men to be visually stimulated, and men it is our job to be prudent and to keep this treasure in proper bounds.

God did an extraordinary job when He created "woman", therefore He is faithful to help us love our wives as our own selves, to love the younger ladies as sisters, and the elder ladies as mothers and aunts. When we "see" other ladies in this matter, it helps keep it all in proper bounds.

[Falla39]

Originally Posted by crakjak

Let it be said that most men have some challegenes, when it comes to dealing with their sexually. It may just be low grade challegenes, and it doesn't necessiarly lead to infidelity, but it is a challegene none the less.

Ladies, you must understand that God did make men to be visually stimulated, and men it is our job to be prudent and to keep this treasure in proper bounds.

God did an extraordinary job when He created "woman", therefore He is faithful to help us love our wives as our own selves, to love the younger ladies as sisters, and the elder ladies as mothers and aunts. When we "see" other ladies in this matter, it helps keep it all in proper bounds.

Brother,
Your words in the bolded brought back memories of our father teaching in
week night Bible studies.
Also Paul was teaching young Timothy who not to rebuke as elders. Have
heard some teach that only the ministry were elders.
Hugs,

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by Socialite

So you define it differently.

The ability to make it brief (as your wife appreciated) is part of that battle. It's not always a conscious sweat match with white knuckles.

I've used the word battle, and described every man varying in degree. Same susceptibility.

(Hopefully you're just as quick returning your glance when the wifey isn't on your arm! )

The man that doesn't think he needs to guard himself from sexual sin is setting himself up for a fall.