Mich- I printed the article out, as I do not read lengthy stuff on the computer screen well. It is not a subject I have studied much, because I am not a "rebel" by nature. That being said, I did come to a point in my walk that I had to search out what I believed for myself and determine what were my convictions, and what the Bible said as far as essentials. This was not a one time event, it is something that I revisit frequently for evaluation purposes. (Outwardly, I conform to what the " church" teaches most of the time, but I do not necessarily believe they are all necessary for salvation.) My first pastor was very autocratic in his ministering style, and even though I was not a "rebel" by nature, I did not want to be a puppet in my walk with God. I don't know if these rambling make sense,just thought I would add it to the conversation.
Mich- I printed the article out, as I do not read lengthy stuff on the computer screen well. It is not a subject I have studied much, because I am not a "rebel" by nature. That being said, I did come to a point in my walk that I had to search out what I believed for myself and determine what were my convictions, and what the Bible said as far as essentials. This was not a one time event, it is something that I revisit frequently for evaluation purposes. (Outwardly, I conform to what the " church" teaches most of the time, but I do not necessarily believe they are all necessary for salvation.) My first pastor was very autocratic in his ministering style, and even though I was not a "rebel" by nature, I did not want to be a puppet in my walk with God. I don't know if these rambling make sense,just thought I would add it to the conversation.
My first reaction is that I am VERY MUCH a rebel by nature, and I am sure that will shock no one reading this. My Mom and I were discussing last night the whole trust issue, especially in how it relates to God, and I started thinking, no wonder I can't trust anyone. Every example that I have had of authority has been bad. Especially male authority.
It goes back to what MOW was saying earlier. As soon as I see Male + Authority, my shackles come up immediately. Because I know that those two things together mean cruelty, manipulation, dictatorship, abuse, injustice, etc.
It's a little hard to just "get over it" like Coonskinner suggested. It's not like oh no, I had a bad experience, it's that I have never had a good experience. First in the world, and then in the church.
My first reaction is that I am VERY MUCH a rebel by nature, and I am sure that will shock no one reading this. My Mom and I were discussing last night the whole trust issue, especially in how it relates to God, and I started thinking, no wonder I can't trust anyone. Every example that I have had of authority has been bad. Especially male authority.
It goes back to what MOW was saying earlier. As soon as I see Male + Authority, my shackles come up immediately. Because I know that those two things together mean cruelty, manipulation, dictatorship, abuse, injustice, etc.
It's a little hard to just "get over it" like Coonskinner suggested. It's not like oh no, I had a bad experience, it's that I have never had a good experience. First in the world, and then in the church.
Mich,
I do not and did not intend to sound calloused or casual or to diminish your pain or bad experiences.
But the fact is that there is no way around it--we have to get over it.
I have had a series of bad experiences with authority figures, male ones, that would curl your hair.
I am not speaking of something I have not lived.
I have fought through long night vigils, wrestling in prayer against the beast of bitterness.
In fact, in a very recent example, my last pastor fell into moral sin and went charismatic. I would have laid down my life for him. I love him. I felt as if I would never be able to trust again.
Just a few months ago, the Lord spoke to me about the man He wanted to be my pastor. I was literally physically sick at the thought of speaking to him about it. He had given me no reason not to trust him, but because of my bad experiences, I was in a cold sweat of dread.
In fact, I humbled myself and swallowed my pride, and called his wife and confessed my fears. I could more easily trust her, you see, because she is a lady, and I have always been blessed by good women in my life. My Granny raised me, and I learned to trust women more than men.
She reassured me, and promised to pray for me, but it was still three more months before I had the conversation, and even then, it was divinely orchestrated.
So believe me, I know what it is to have trust issues.
But you still have to conquer them, regardless of how difficult or insurmountable it may seem.
I do not and did not intend to sound calloused or casual or to diminish your pain or bad experiences.
But the fact is that there is no way around it--we have to get over it.
I have had a series of bad experiences with authority figures, male ones, that would curl your hair.
I am not speaking of something I have not lived.
I have fought through long night vigils, wrestling in prayer against the beast of bitterness.
In fact, in a very recent example, my last pastor fell into moral sin and went charismatic. I would have laid down my life for him. I love him. I felt as if I would never be able to trust again.
Just a few months ago, the Lord spoke to me about the man He wanted to be my pastor. I was literally physically sick at the thought of speaking to him about it. He had given me no reason not to trust him, but because of my bad experiences, I was in a cold sweat of dread.
In fact, I humbled myself and swallowed my pride, and called his wife and confessed my fears. I could more easily trust her, you see, because she is a lady, and I have always been blessed by good women in my life. My Granny raised me, and I learned to trust women more than men.
She reassured me, and promised to pray for me, but it was still three more months before I had the conversation, and even then, it was divinely orchestrated.
So believe me, I know what it is to have trust issues.
But you still have to conquer them, regardless of how difficult or insurmountable it may seem.
Nuh-uh, I do not neither! and you can't make me, and you're not the boss of me. la la la la la, I can't hear you, la la la la la, not listening, la la la la la
I do not and did not intend to sound calloused or casual or to diminish your pain or bad experiences.
But the fact is that there is no way around it--we have to get over it.
I have had a series of bad experiences with authority figures, male ones, that would curl your hair.
I am not speaking of something I have not lived.
I have fought through long night vigils, wrestling in prayer against the beast of bitterness.
In fact, in a very recent example, my last pastor fell into moral sin and went charismatic. I would have laid down my life for him. I love him. I felt as if I would never be able to trust again.
Just a few months ago, the Lord spoke to me about the man He wanted to be my pastor. I was literally physically sick at the thought of speaking to him about it. He had given me no reason not to trust him, but because of my bad experiences, I was in a cold sweat of dread.
In fact, I humbled myself and swallowed my pride, and called his wife and confessed my fears. I could more easily trust her, you see, because she is a lady, and I have always been blessed by good women in my life. My Granny raised me, and I learned to trust women more than men.
She reassured me, and promised to pray for me, but it was still three more months before I had the conversation, and even then, it was divinely orchestrated.
So believe me, I know what it is to have trust issues.
But you still have to conquer them, regardless of how difficult or insurmountable it may seem.
Good post CS.. you are right.
I was the other way around, I have great trust issues with women. On the other hand, had the most loving father anyone could ever ask for. Never been hurt by a man other than my husband and still realized it was drugs...not the core of him.
I understand it is why I am able to submit to male authority and so thankful that for me it was the other way around. I do have difficulty with anyone being demanding, regardless of sex.
Still.. God continues to heal my problems with women in authority and it is something I'm working on.
I now have a female boss... who replaced a male who I have respect for. I am actually surprised at how well it is going. However, the few days were a little rough on me and I spent time praying about my situation.. trying to overcome issues that cause it in the first place.. it may seem insignificant to others... but if they only knew how I bristle at a domineering, head strong woman... they would understand. I have little tolerance for it. I know it is just a work situation...but I spend 8-10 hours a day here.
So, I understand what Mich has said... but totally agree with you. We have to conquer those trust issues.
I was the other way around, I have great trust issues with women. On the other hand, had the most loving father anyone could ever ask for. Never been hurt by a man other than my husband and still realized it was drugs...not the core of him.
I understand it is why I am able to submit to male authority and so thankful that for me it was the other way around. I do have difficulty with anyone being demanding, regardless of sex.
Still.. God continues to heal my problems with women in authority and it is something I'm working on.
I now have a female boss... who replaced a male who I have respect for. I am actually surprised at how well it is going. However, the few days were a little rough on me and I spent time praying about my situation.. trying to overcome issues that cause it in the first place.. it may seem insignificant to others... but if they only knew how I bristle at a domineering, head strong woman... they would understand. I have little tolerance for it. I know it is just a work situation...but I spend 8-10 hours a day here.
So, I understand what Mich has said... but totally agree with you. We have to conquer those trust issues.
Good post Lisa!
__________________ Smiles & Blessings.... ~Felicity Welsh~ (surname courtesy of Jim Yohe)
I was the other way around, I have great trust issues with women. On the other hand, had the most loving father anyone could ever ask for. Never been hurt by a man other than my husband and still realized it was drugs...not the core of him.
I understand it is why I am able to submit to male authority and so thankful that for me it was the other way around. I do have difficulty with anyone being demanding, regardless of sex.
Still.. God continues to heal my problems with women in authority and it is something I'm working on.
I now have a female boss... who replaced a male who I have respect for. I am actually surprised at how well it is going. However, the few days were a little rough on me and I spent time praying about my situation.. trying to overcome issues that cause it in the first place.. it may seem insignificant to others... but if they only knew how I bristle at a domineering, head strong woman... they would understand. I have little tolerance for it. I know it is just a work situation...but I spend 8-10 hours a day here.
So, I understand what Mich has said... but totally agree with you. We have to conquer those trust issues.
Over the last 20 years or so I have done an informal survey of women I have worked with. Once I know them well enough and know they will not be offended I ask them if they would rather work for a man or a woman. In the last 20 years having ask this question dozens of times so far the answer has been 100% would rather work for men.
When I ask why I am told (keep in mind this is from women about working for other women) it is that women are much harder to work for. They are more demanding and if you cross them never forget.
So issues working for a woman may not be any problem on your part but just something natural.
My first reaction is that I am VERY MUCH a rebel by nature, and I am sure that will shock no one reading this. My Mom and I were discussing last night the whole trust issue, especially in how it relates to God, and I started thinking, no wonder I can't trust anyone. Every example that I have had of authority has been bad. Especially male authority.
It goes back to what MOW was saying earlier. As soon as I see Male + Authority, my shackles come up immediately. Because I know that those two things together mean cruelty, manipulation, dictatorship, abuse, injustice, etc.
It's a little hard to just "get over it" like Coonskinner suggested. It's not like oh no, I had a bad experience, it's that I have never had a good experience. First in the world, and then in the church.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coonskinner
Mich,
I do not and did not intend to sound calloused or casual or to diminish your pain or bad experiences.
But the fact is that there is no way around it--we have to get over it.
I have had a series of bad experiences with authority figures, male ones, that would curl your hair.
I am not speaking of something I have not lived.
I have fought through long night vigils, wrestling in prayer against the beast of bitterness.
In fact, in a very recent example, my last pastor fell into moral sin and went charismatic. I would have laid down my life for him. I love him. I felt as if I would never be able to trust again.
Just a few months ago, the Lord spoke to me about the man He wanted to be my pastor. I was literally physically sick at the thought of speaking to him about it. He had given me no reason not to trust him, but because of my bad experiences, I was in a cold sweat of dread.
In fact, I humbled myself and swallowed my pride, and called his wife and confessed my fears. I could more easily trust her, you see, because she is a lady, and I have always been blessed by good women in my life. My Granny raised me, and I learned to trust women more than men.
She reassured me, and promised to pray for me, but it was still three more months before I had the conversation, and even then, it was divinely orchestrated.
So believe me, I know what it is to have trust issues.
But you still have to conquer them, regardless of how difficult or insurmountable it may seem.
I know what it's like to have trust issues, too. It's taken me the 38 years I've been alive to learn to (or allow myself - or make myself) trust Jesus. I, too, have had bad experiences with authority figures in my life - in and out of church; parents, step-parents, relatives, boss, teacher, a pastor, "friends". As a result, I couldn't trust Jesus either. Believe me, I tried!
But then I got to a place in my life where Jesus was the ONLY one I could trust. He was it. I finally discovered that Jesus is the only one who had my best interest at heart - always; despite what I could see from my skewed perception. HE was the only one who was always available, who always loved me, who I could always trust. My pain and fear drove me to Him. I had no choice. I felt alone - I felt betrayed. Those I trusted hurt me. Those I thought cared about me used me. What choice(s) in life did I have left??
Normally, I would have secluded myself, trusted no one, pushed everyone away, became angry - perhaps bitter; but for some reason... it was like it was suddenly clear to me -- I realized that I had JESUS! Since then, the hurt has lessened. And though I can't say that I have a lot of trust in people; I don't have that same fear anymore. Now I **KNOW** (heart-knowledge; not just head-knowledge) that Jesus is FOR me! It's a GREAT place to be - in that knowledge.
HE'S GOOD! Don't give up on trying to fully trust Him. My life's still not perfect. It probably never will be. But that's okay, as long as I have Jesus! Because, again, He's FOR me. He's for YOU as well! I pray that this FACT will become heart-knowledge for you, too.
I know what it's like to have trust issues, too. It's taken me the 38 years I've been alive to learn to (or allow myself - or make myself) trust Jesus. I, too, have had bad experiences with authority figures in my life - in and out of church; parents, step-parents, relatives, boss, teacher, a pastor, "friends". As a result, I couldn't trust Jesus either. Believe me, I tried!
But then I got to a place in my life where Jesus was the ONLY one I could trust. He was it. I finally discovered that Jesus is the only one who had my best interest at heart - always; despite what I could see from my skewed perception. HE was the only one who was always available, who always loved me, who I could always trust. My pain and fear drove me to Him. I had no choice. I felt alone - I felt betrayed. Those I trusted hurt me. Those I thought cared about me used me. What choice(s) in life did I have left??
Normally, I would have secluded myself, trusted no one, pushed everyone away, became angry - perhaps bitter; but for some reason... it was like it was suddenly clear to me -- I realized that I had JESUS! Since then, the hurt has lessened. And though I can't say that I have a lot of trust in people; I don't have that same fear anymore. Now I **KNOW** (heart-knowledge; not just head-knowledge) that Jesus is FOR me! It's a GREAT place to be - in that knowledge.
HE'S GOOD! Don't give up on trying to fully trust Him. My life's still not perfect. It probably never will be. But that's okay, as long as I have Jesus! Because, again, He's FOR me. He's for YOU as well! I pray that this FACT will become heart-knowledge for you, too.
I know you didn't post this to me or for me, but it spoke volumes. Someday I hope to apply the above to my life as you have done.
__________________
I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
I know what it's like to have trust issues, too. It's taken me the 38 years I've been alive to learn to (or allow myself - or make myself) trust Jesus. I, too, have had bad experiences with authority figures in my life - in and out of church; parents, step-parents, relatives, boss, teacher, a pastor, "friends". As a result, I couldn't trust Jesus either. Believe me, I tried!
But then I got to a place in my life where Jesus was the ONLY one I could trust. He was it. I finally discovered that Jesus is the only one who had my best interest at heart - always; despite what I could see from my skewed perception. HE was the only one who was always available, who always loved me, who I could always trust. My pain and fear drove me to Him. I had no choice. I felt alone - I felt betrayed. Those I trusted hurt me. Those I thought cared about me used me. What choice(s) in life did I have left??
Normally, I would have secluded myself, trusted no one, pushed everyone away, became angry - perhaps bitter; but for some reason... it was like it was suddenly clear to me -- I realized that I had JESUS! Since then, the hurt has lessened. And though I can't say that I have a lot of trust in people; I don't have that same fear anymore. Now I **KNOW** (heart-knowledge; not just head-knowledge) that Jesus is FOR me! It's a GREAT place to be - in that knowledge.
HE'S GOOD! Don't give up on trying to fully trust Him. My life's still not perfect. It probably never will be. But that's okay, as long as I have Jesus! Because, again, He's FOR me. He's for YOU as well! I pray that this FACT will become heart-knowledge for you, too.
Hybrid Mode
