need to talk:discouraged after hear preaching

[A.W. Bowman]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

There's no arguing or debating on this thread yet. WIERD!

[pelathais]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

There's no arguing or debating on this thread yet. WIERD!

No! You're wrong! It's not "weird." It's normal!

oops!

[Apocrypha]

Originally Posted by pelathais

No! You're wrong! It's not "weird." It's normal!

oops!

Its because its true.

[Cindy]

Amen!

[Krt]

Originally Posted by OneAccord

You know, I've seen alot of people, and know alot of people, who are stuck on the treadmill of "not doing enough". Been there myself. No matter how much they pray, no matter how much they go to church, no matter how "holy" they try to be, its never enough. They always feel inadequate. Like I said, been there myself.

But one day while reading the Bible, I read some of the last words Jesus spoke on the Cross. His words, "It is finished", struck me like a thunderbolt. "It is finished". Maybe it was due to my hearts condition at the time, but those words said to me. "This. THIS is enough". His Death on the Cross was enough to redeem me. My redemption, my salvation was puchased then and there, and His sacrifice finished the transaction. It was enpugh. So, I am learning to, as David said, "Rest in the Lord...." My salvation is secure in Him.

Now don't get me wrong. I believe there are works for the Christian to do to maintain his or her relationship with the Lord. But, we work because we ARE saved, not to be saved. Jesus' work on the cross bought our salvation, and we work His works to maintain our walk with Him.

So, don't be discouraged. Just remember, "It is finished" in Jesus.

Everything is good but this really touched me! I asked God to use someone to say just what I needed to hear and lookie here ) wow.

[Krt]

I do need to just talk still, though... First I want to share I am studying the bible chronologically and was so excited yesterday at the library got the new customs and manners of the bible and some other illustrated dictionary/commentary books... putting it into perspective and learning what was really meant... and trying to start fresh but is hard with the hurts. its always been hard for me to just let go and move on... since we are supose to forgive and love, thats hard on me... not good to hold onto stuff!

Just need to talk if thats ok... one thing I remembered was a pastor used to say, what does the bible say? and you know how anyone can make the bible say what they want it to... he was refering this time to not forsaking the assembling of yourselves & are you telling me that meant you had to be there 3-4 times a week & never miss and if you had a special family event you were showing love by missing that & showing your commitment to God to not miss that service and being a light that way? while not showing love to them by missing their event? (I know depends on the event)... but thats one example... and then the fear instilled that you will become deceived if spend too much time away from the church....
oh, this morning I read over the paper while I ate breakfast, normally don't do that (read the paper) and it came to me a message that was you don't love God if you put that paper before reading the bible (in so many words....)
& recently, (& I love this pastor so it makes it hard) he taught on precept upon precept not just taking a scripture out... I was so angry I wanted to stand up and scream but that is what you do with stuff like Corinthians and the hair!!!!

I hope I don't have a bad spirit, I hope its only that I have been hurt and am frustrated and stuff... I feel so bruised & battered... esp. w/ the not doing enough, services are always making me feel I'm not just accepted by what he did at the cross... tell me his love and I'll want to serve him but don't beat me with the book.... maybe I am just too sensitive...
I don't even want to go back to church... I just want to spend time with God alone and heal... How do I go there and let the stuff that I don't agree with in one ear and out the other?
I just needed to talk and say all this...
and tell me, has anyone heard a upc message that oneaccord said up there? now that would be nice....

[Krt]

Here is one I told my husband the other day, tell me your honest opinion...

I was a new convert and holiness (outward) was preached... I already had committed to standing up in my best friend's wedding... after service I told my pastor about that, & the dress would show my shoulders, and we'd wear pearl necklace... you know... and my college friends would be there, there would be drinking... He told me the what does the bible say thingie and I had to call her, listen to her cry her eyes out and tell her I couldn't because of my new church beliefs and the bible says such and such... I felt lousy...
Personally, I am sure I would have been able to go and still be a light, it doesn't mean I would have gone and fallen and drank... I would have prayed & trusted Jesus to walk in there with me and shown them love & His light... Now I thought about it and she probably told all our college friends what I did, what kind of light is that? Now she thinks I am in a crazy cult and we never talked since...

And, if I would have gone anyway, that would have been wrong too, to not submit to my authority? This is all so messed up with verses being used, I understand why people are turned off by church & stuff... I thank God he revealed Himself to me and it wasn't just for going to church....its relationship with Him, yet I am still unclear how all this balances... Someone said on this forum somewhere its God, then husband, ....

what about how it says your pastor watched for our soul and has to give an account?
ok, gonna take a break from all this, getting a headache!!!!

I reaaaaalllllly appreciate you guys and the spirit of love behind your posts, I am really needing you now, God bless you...

[A.W. Bowman]

Question: Is your husband 'in church" (a practicing believer)? If so, these issues would be most appropriate being discussed with him. If not, or if there are other issues that makes this kind of discussion difficult, then I would recommend seeking out a spiritually mature woman, like Cindy. If she thinks best, I know that she could also recommend some others that might be able to give you the 'one-on-one' counseling that might better help you through this period.

Regardless, as you start to move forward, don't forget your husband.Keep him in the loop and discuss what is going on with you and what effect the input from others are having on your thoughts and feelings - as well as what effect all of this is having on him.

Yes, your responsibility is God first, spouse second, family, ministry, the body of Christ, the 'world', followed by everything else according to your own priorities. You are under the protection and authority of your husband, not the pastor. Concerning you, the pastor enters into the picture as an instructor to your husband - at the body of Christ level of authority and responsibility. Allow no man (or woman) to come between you and your husband. For you are one flesh (and united spirit) with your husband, not the pastor, his wife, or with anyone else.

Spiritual instruction situations are very easy handle: Thank you for your concern and spiritual insight. However, please talk to my husband about this [issue], for God says that I am under his spiritual authority and protection. Then, you are free to discuss the [issue] with your husband, and to make decisions according to the spiritual unity of the family.

Reference: Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:17-25, 1 Timothy 3:12 and Titus 2:4-5. PLUS, all of this is to be tempered with the knowledge and wisdom that is expressed in Proverbs 31. As far as it is possible for you, keep your own house in peace and in order.

[corvet786c]

Yea I am her husband and I am a believer. Bump for more comments and opinions.

[deadeye]

Originally Posted by Krt

Here is one I told my husband the other day, tell me your honest opinion...

I was a new convert and holiness (outward) was preached... I already had committed to standing up in my best friend's wedding... after service I told my pastor about that, & the dress would show my shoulders, and we'd wear pearl necklace... you know... and my college friends would be there, there would be drinking... He told me the what does the bible say thingie and I had to call her, listen to her cry her eyes out and tell her I couldn't because of my new church beliefs and the bible says such and such... I felt lousy...
Personally, I am sure I would have been able to go and still be a light, it doesn't mean I would have gone and fallen and drank... I would have prayed & trusted Jesus to walk in there with me and shown them love & His light... Now I thought about it and she probably told all our college friends what I did, what kind of light is that? Now she thinks I am in a crazy cult and we never talked since...

And, if I would have gone anyway, that would have been wrong too, to not submit to my authority? This is all so messed up with verses being used, I understand why people are turned off by church & stuff... I thank God he revealed Himself to me and it wasn't just for going to church....its relationship with Him, yet I am still unclear how all this balances... Someone said on this forum somewhere its God, then husband, ....

what about how it says your pastor watched for our soul and has to give an account?
ok, gonna take a break from all this, getting a headache!!!!

I reaaaaalllllly appreciate you guys and the spirit of love behind your posts, I am really needing you now, God bless you...

You need to find counsel somewhere.....but the last place you need to look for counsel is on this forum.