Is divorce a sin if no one was unfaithful? - Page 6

tamor · #51 07-16-2008, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michlow

Now this is a subject near and dear to my heart

I say that only half joking. Most of you know that my marital situation is far from ideal. Most of it is due to my husband having Asperger's syndrome.

It's not something he can help. There is no fix, or cure for it. It just is, what it is. Because he cannot really socially relate to other people, we will never have that kind of intimacy or connection that should exist in a marriage. Since his asperger's causes him to have limited and focused interests, we really have no common interests and very little to discuss. And as his condition also causes problems with employement, I continue to be the sole provider, and well, quite frankly, I do everything.

I think if he were a little more able to care for himself that we most likely wouldn't still be together. But I feel responsbile him. (Not to mention as I have supported him the bulk of our time together, with my luck I would end up having to pay him alimony).

The way I look at it, If I am going to have to support him, I might as well have him around to do the heavy lifting.

But I can't lie, I do occasionally daydream about being swept off my feet, or running away from it all.

Is this where the "in sickness and in health" part of your marriage vows comes in?

I can't say that I know where you're coming from because I haven't walked in your shoes. I can say that I understand the daydreaming because I stayed married for 19 years to one whose interpretation of our marriage vows was much different than mine.

DividedThigh · #52 07-16-2008, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Perhaps the better question would be "how can I please God in this situation?"

Divorce may not be the best option, and is amost resoundingly discouraged, even when there truly are situations that fall within the parameters of Biblical allowance.

Maybe the answer is to stop looking for a way out, and to start looking for hope, restoration and the peace of God.

true pp but the truth is that it takes two willing partners to work out reconcilliation, not one but two, i hate divorce, and i know what i speak of, but there are times when it is the only way

1Corinth2v4 · #53 07-16-2008, 11:04 AM

If I ever marry and my wife was unfaithful, I'd happly forgive her, and give her my boot as a departure gift as she's flying out the front door.

I couldn't nor wouldn't touch her after being defiled by another man! She would lose all my trust. I couldn't live with doubt the rest of my life wondering if she's out there being a harlot.

Michlow · #54 07-16-2008, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DividedThigh

god bless you mich, i dont know what it is like to be in that situation, but you are a real trooper, dt

Quote:

Originally Posted by tamor

Is this where the "in sickness and in health" part of your marriage vows comes in?

I can't say that I know where you're coming from because I haven't walked in your shoes. I can say that I understand the daydreaming because I stayed married for 19 years to one whose interpretation of our marriage vows was much different than mine.

Well, we got married at the court house, and I don't think that was actually part of the vows...but yeah, I get your point.

In my case, I do not believe it to be a sin, and to be honest, God doesn't weigh heavily into the equation. I think it all comes down to my personal integrity. I'm not a quitter, and I am not the type to dump my problems for someone else to take care of.

I think the biggest struggle is always trying to stay postive. I am still young, I have a long life ahead of me (knock on wood), potentially 40 to 50 years. That is a really long time to be in a empty marriage. More than anything I am afraid that I will wake up in 20 years and feel like I spent the best years of my life in a prison of my own making. And yet, I don't want to fall prey to "the grass is greener" syndrome.

RandyWayne · #55 07-16-2008, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Corinth2v4

If I ever marry and my wife was unfaithful, I'd happly forgive her, and give her my boot as a departure gift as she's flying out the front door.

I couldn't nor wouldn't touch her after being defiled by another man! She would lose all my trust. I couldn't live with doubt the rest of my life wondering if she's out there being a harlot.

"Pow! Zoom! To the moon!"

LOL

Baron1710 · #56 07-16-2008, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Corinth2v4

If I ever marry and my wife was unfaithful, I'd happly forgive her, and give her my boot as a departure gift as she's flying out the front door.

I couldn't nor wouldn't touch her after being defiled by another man! She would lose all my trust. I couldn't live with doubt the rest of my life wondering if she's out there being a harlot.

I guess the story of Hosea says nothing to you.

DividedThigh · #57 07-16-2008, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Corinth2v4

If I ever marry and my wife was unfaithful, I'd happly forgive her, and give her my boot as a departure gift as she's flying out the front door.

I couldn't nor wouldn't touch her after being defiled by another man! She would lose all my trust. I couldn't live with doubt the rest of my life wondering if she's out there being a harlot.

i have to say for once i agree with you 1cor, i tried to forgive and a year later she proved you right so got the boot, then i forgave her and moved on, dt

DividedThigh · #58 07-16-2008, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron1710

I guess the story of Hosea says nothing to you.

it speaks to me baron, but god wasnt using my first wifes cheating, to teach israel a lesson, dt

Blsdbeyondmsure · #59 07-16-2008, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Perhaps the better question would be "how can I please God in this situation?"

Divorce may not be the best option, and is amost resoundingly discouraged, even when there truly are situations that fall within the parameters of Biblical allowance.

Maybe the answer is to stop looking for a way out, and to start looking for hope, restoration and the peace of God.

Thanks for this post! As someone who's lived through a terrible marriage with Biblical allowance for divorce & worked through a reconciliation, I know God can bring about hope, restoration, peace, forgiveness, etc. if we allow him to work.

God has been so good to me. My life is a testimony to the grace, goodness, and faithfulness of God.

That's why I'm... BLSDBEYONDMSURE!

DividedThigh · #60 07-16-2008, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blsdbeyondmsure

Thanks for this post! As someone who's lived through a terrible marriage with Biblical allowance for divorce & worked through a reconciliation, I know God can bring about hope, restoration, peace, forgiveness, etc. if we allow him to work.

God has been so good to me. My life is a testimony to the grace, goodness, and faithfulness of God.

That's why I'm... BLSDBEYONDMSURE!

great testimony blessed, continue, dt