Creflo Dollar

[RandyWayne]

Sometimes you just have to do it!

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by acerrak

count your self lucky

i have 2 kids with adhd and one that may have bi-polar.. just step into my world

So how would you answer nitehawk's question? How do you handle your children when they are extremely difficult?

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by acerrak

lol my 11 year old doesnt wear a diaper does yours? However the punishment should always fit the bill. The older they get I just take away privelages, but when they fuss and fight with there siblings, i can only handle so much, i guarentee its not gonna be a little love pat to get there attention.


This is discipline. love pats dont do it.

See , the problem I have with that statement is that it doesn't appear to be about teaching the child what is right and what is wrong. Those words tell me that when they've pushed YOUR buttons to the point that YOU have had enough and can't handle anymore, that's when you react. If your means of getting their attention involves more than "a little love pat", then why would you think that their means of getting their siblings attention would be any different? Monkey see, monkey do, you know.

Originally Posted by crakjak

Your father and mother needed some training in parenting as most parents do, adults that do such things including Creflo are immature in parenting. They may be mature in other areas, but their parenting needs help, when it gets to this point they have already missed the ball much earlier in parenting their children.

We all miss it in some areas, and by the time we get it together our children have already grown up. Hopefully, we are able to grow some beyond our own childhood and add some growth to our children and as result our family tree matures, at least, generationally.

Originally Posted by acerrak

count your self lucky

i have 2 kids with adhd and one that may have bi-polar.. just step into my world

My youngest son has ADHD. I can't tell you the last time he was physically punished - maybe when he was 5?? I honestly don't remember. But we have never, ever allowed his ADHD to be an excuse for disrespect, poor manners or treating others unkindly. No, we didn't beat him. But he has been disciplined. He's lost privileges. He's had to write letters of apology to someone he treated badly. He's had to apologize for bad behavior and still lost his games, his bike, his...... whatever. He graduated this year from High School and I am pleased to tell you that even tho we had many, many meetings with the teachers and counselors at school regarding his grades (he could not focus enough to stay on task and get his work done on time!), we have ALWAYS been told all the way thru school by almost all of his teachers every year that they would be delighted if they could have had a whole classroom full of kids like him because he is kind, thoughtful and respectful. And all without beating him. Imagine that.

[Margies3]

What I will tell you is this - raising a child without beating them, choking them, throwing them down the stairs, etc., but still disciplining them effectively involves a whole lot MORE time on the part of the parent. You have to be involved and stay involved. In means you spend TIME with your child - talking, teaching, interacting.

If you want to be a parent who is only there to mop up the messes, then physical punishment is the way to go. In that case, you just REACT after they've screwed up.

[HolyFire]

Originally Posted by acerrak

count your self lucky

i have 2 kids with adhd and one that may have bi-polar.. just step into my world

Brother, you have my prayers. Seriously. I can't imagine.

[Esther]

Originally Posted by Margies3

Agreed. Children DO need discipline. But discipline does not always (or even often) need to involve physical battery. Swatting a diapered bottom just enough to get their attention is one thing. Leaving welts, bruises or other marks is a whole different thing. That should NEVER happen - at any age!!

And I still maintain that after a certain age, there are much more effective means of discipline. Curtail your teens social life by taking away their phone, their computer, their car, and their privilege of leaving the house. That's fine. But beating them? Really? We throw a fit and call him a batterer if a man hits his wife (to teach her a lesson. ya right!). But if he hits his 15 year old daughter we call that discipline. Does that seem right to you? it really doesn't to me.

When I was 14, our pastor's daughters and I got in some trouble together (nothing serious. We snuck out in the middle of the night and rode across town in our pj's on our bikes - remember, this was in the 60's and we live in a small town). My dad took my bike away for a month and grounded me to our yard for a week. That was plenty of "punishment" for what we'd done. I learned my lesson - believe me! On the other hand, our pastor beat his daughter's with a piece of rubber hose so badly that they had welts and bruises on their backsides and down the backs of their legs. At that point, I lost ever bit of respect I had ever had for the man. From then on I just saw him as a brutal bully.

I think there is an age limit for physical disciple.

If you haven't taught them obedience by then it is probably pretty much a lost cause.

That is not saying they won't do wrong, but taking away privileges usually gets their attention.

[SiblingRevelry]

I would only note that if the types of physical punishment mentioned here were applied to adults, not children, they would constitute assault and battery under the law. However, the law has a carved-out exemption where children can be beaten as long as it doesn't leave identifiable marks. There is a man (not Pentecostal that I know of) who has written books on training up a child. He advocates the use of 1/4 inch plumbing line--precisely because it doesn't leave marks.

I'd also note that I said the N word once in my life and got caught. My mom made me sit, like Ralphie, with a bar of soap in my mouth. In my case, it was orange Dial. I can still taste the soap. Blech.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by SiblingRevelry

I would only note that if the types of physical punishment mentioned here were applied to adults, not children, they would constitute assault and battery under the law. However, the law has a carved-out exemption where children can be beaten as long as it doesn't leave identifiable marks. There is a man (not Pentecostal that I know of) who has written books on training up a child. He advocates the use of 1/4 inch plumbing line--precisely because it doesn't leave marks.

I'd also note that I said the N word once in my life and got caught. My mom made me sit, like Ralphie, with a bar of soap in my mouth. In my case, it was orange Dial. I can still taste the soap. Blech.

Is this the same book that advocated physically punishing infants?

[AreYouReady?]

Once my children got older, I mostly just fussed at them. They love mamma but cannot stand to hear me fuss because it is an earful and lasted a long time.

[RandyWayne]

The only kids I ever spanked were my boys, aka, the dogs. And they deserved it too! It also took a couple (but JUST a couple) of zaps from a shock collar as well but some potentially dangerous behavior (to him) was cured so it was worth it.