Hymn #365

StillStanding · #1 01-17-2008, 10:13 AM

Hymn #365

This is a hoot, but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

#2 01-17-2008, 10:22 AM

OH that is so cute...gave me a good

StillStanding · #3 01-17-2008, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

OH that is so cute...gave me a good

Thanks! That's why I posted it.......to bring a smile to AFFs today!

tamor · #4 01-17-2008, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pianoman

Thanks! That's why I posted it.......to bring a smile to AFFs today!

You need to copy that over on the worn out song thread!!

crakjak · #5 01-17-2008, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pianoman

Hymn #365

This is a hoot, but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

DividedThigh · #6 01-17-2008, 11:04 AM

funny stuff pm, first time i heard that you were 12, lol,dt

rgcraig · #7 01-17-2008, 12:10 PM

I need to find something in my memory box. A guy I dated once made a whole story up using titles from our song book during church.

It's pretty funny!

determined · #8 01-17-2008, 12:59 PM

The Dentist's Hymn - "Crown Him with Many Crowns"
The TV Weatherman's Hymn - "There Shall be Showers of Blessing"
The Contractor's Hymn - "The Church's one Foundation"
The Tailor's Hymn - "Holy, Holy, Holy"
The Golfer's Hymn - "There is a Green Hill Far Away"
The Politician's Hymn - "Standing on the Promises"
The Optometrist's Hymn -"Open Mine Eyes that I Might See"
The IRS Hymn - "All to Thee"
The Gossiper's Hymn - "Pass it On"
The Electrician's Hymn - "Send the Light"
The Shopper's Hymn - "Sweet by and by"

determined · #9 01-17-2008, 01:00 PM

If you MUST speed on the highway -- sing these hymns loudly:
at 45 mph.... "God Will Take Care of Me"
at 55 mph.... "Guide me, O Great Jehovah"
at 65 mph.... "Nearer My God to Thee"
at 75 mph... "Nearer Still Nearer"
at 85 mph... "This World is not my Home"
at 95 mph.... "Lord, I'm Coming Home"
at 100 mph.... "Precious Memories

King's Child · #10 01-17-2008, 01:11 PM

A minister was taking prayer requests one night. A lady stood up and requested prayer for her problem. She just went on and on about how she couldn't use the bathroom. Finally the minister turned to the song leader and motioned for her to start singing. With a smirky grin on her face she begin to sing "I shall not be I shall not be moved"