If you want to be a friend to your pastor

[Bullwinkle]

Came across this and thought about some fine whine I read last night.

If you want to become friends with your pastor, here are some suggestions:
1. Don’t be pushy. Pushy people come across as needy. We minister to needy people all day. We crave friendships not more counseling appointments.
2. Don’t tell us “God told you” we’re going to be friends. He may have, but that doesn’t work on us. Tons of people have told us that before. Friendship for us needs to happen over time, not be born because of something God told you but not us.
3. Coming to a stranger’s house for dinner isn’t the high point of our lives. (You know a lot about us. We don’t know as much about you.) We work a lot of nights. Our kids are busy. Finding a babysitter is hard. Bringing our kids to your house often puts stress on us. A night at home is often more meaningful than a dinner at your house. (Some pastors will disagree with me and be very blessed by these dinners. Most aren’t.)
4. My wife doesn’t want to send our kids to your house just because you want to baby sit them. You are probably an incredible person, but we don’t know about your neighbors or your kids’ friends or your uncle that might come by. There are too many weird people for us to send our kids to your house without knowing more.
5. We are grateful for “gift cards.” Many pastors don’t have the financial margin to take their families out. Gift cards mean a lot.
6. We love talking to you about things besides church and the Bible. We have other interests like you.
7. We love your notes of appreciation. They mean more than you know. You have a way of sending them when we really need them. Thank you!
8. We love talking to the real you. Many people show us a spiritual front. Truthfully, we’d rather see your dark side than a fake spiritual one. Thank you for being yourself!
9. We are slow to open up. It is not because of you. We’ve been hurt many times by people who say the same things you are saying to us. Give us time.
10. If we can’t be close to you, it doesn’t mean we don’t truly love you. We only have room for a handful of very close friends. We simply don’t have the time or energy to be close to tons of people. Please don’t take it personally.
11. Please don’t try to use our kids to get to us. We love our kids and don’t want anyone to use them. Our kids also can’t go to every kid’s birthday party from the church.
12. If we ever say “no” to you, please understand that it is very hard for us. We want to serve you. We want to minister to you. We want you to like us. Sometimes, we simply can’t do everything. We hope you understand.
13. More than anything, we want to represent Christ to you. When we let you down (and we will), we pray you will show us grace.
14. We want you to know that we value your prayers more than you will ever know.
15. When you do become our close friend, you are an answer to prayer and a gift from God!

[StillStanding]

This is good, but it was obviously written by a liberal pastor!

A few changes are needed for the conservative pastors!

2A. Since we are the ones who hear from God, only pastors can use the "God told us" thing.

6. We have interests outside of church and the bible, but we don't want to talk about these interests with you. We have other pastor friends that we share these interests with. Our conversation should focus on church and the bible instead of worldly things.

8. Always show us your spiritual front so we don't think that you're worldly and backslid.

16. If you REALLY want to be our friend, do everything that we ask or preach. Your attempt at an explanation is not wanted and is a sign of rebellion.

17. Do not attempt to start a home group to study the bible on your own! You are gullible sheep, so if you want to know what the bible says about any subject, come to me!

[ManOfWord]

Here's how to become THIS pastor's friend:

Ask God to show how you can be a part of the vision the pastor has for the local body.
Get behind it and get involved. The result should be souls getting saved and people growing.

If you have a disagreement, talk to your pastor. 99% of disagreements can be worked out in respectful conversation.

If you don't like the vision:
1. Pray for your pastor that he follows God's direction and hears His voice.
2. Pray that you may hear God's voice and direction for the body.
3. If what you hear is different from what your pastor outlines, talk to him. You may misunderstand.
4. If after talking to him, you still can't "see it" pray more to receive direction.
5. If you still can't connect with the vision, you need to be in a place where you can partner with one. Life is too short to not like where you are so much that you cannot contribute.


If none of these work, start your own church. You're sure to agree with the pastor then!

[Sherri]

Thanks for posting this! I agree totally.

[DividedThigh]

good words, from all of you, even the humor from pm, lol,dt

[Amos]

Originally Posted by Sherri

Thanks for posting this! I agree totally.

Sherri,

His introductory comment was this:

"Came across this and thought about some fine whine I read last night."

This was a sarcastic post taking a swipe at "whining preachers." You know, the same old drill.

So by agreeing, I guess you get labeled as a whiner.

Just trying to be a blessing.

[Sherri]

Originally Posted by Amos

Sherri,

His introductory comment was this:



This was a sarcastic post taking a swipe at "whining preachers." You know, the same old drill.

So by agreeing, I guess you get labeled as a whiner.

Just trying to be a blessing.

I don't care what it was called; there was a lot of truth in there that pastors don't usually want to admit but they really do feel!!

[Amos]

Originally Posted by Sherri

I don't care what it was called; there was a lot of truth in there that pastors don't usually want to admit but they really do feel!!

Well, hunker down.

You are so sweet that you probably won't get hammered too much...

But this is just another thread doing what the spin artists say doesn't happen around here.

[Stephanas]

Originally Posted by Amos

Sherri,

This was a sarcastic post taking a swipe at "whining preachers." You know, the same old drill.

So by agreeing, I guess you get labeled as a whiner.

Just trying to be a blessing.

I think that you've got it exactly backward and that Bullwinkle is taking a swipe at "whining saints."

[Tina]

Originally Posted by Bullwinkle

Came across this and thought about some fine whine I read last night.

If you want to become friends with your pastor, here are some suggestions:
1. Don’t be pushy. Pushy people come across as needy. We minister to needy people all day. We crave friendships not more counseling appointments.
2. Don’t tell us “God told you” we’re going to be friends. He may have, but that doesn’t work on us. Tons of people have told us that before. Friendship for us needs to happen over time, not be born because of something God told you but not us.
3. Coming to a stranger’s house for dinner isn’t the high point of our lives. (You know a lot about us. We don’t know as much about you.) We work a lot of nights. Our kids are busy. Finding a babysitter is hard. Bringing our kids to your house often puts stress on us. A night at home is often more meaningful than a dinner at your house. (Some pastors will disagree with me and be very blessed by these dinners. Most aren’t.)
4. My wife doesn’t want to send our kids to your house just because you want to baby sit them. You are probably an incredible person, but we don’t know about your neighbors or your kids’ friends or your uncle that might come by. There are too many weird people for us to send our kids to your house without knowing more.
5. We are grateful for “gift cards.” Many pastors don’t have the financial margin to take their families out. Gift cards mean a lot.
6. We love talking to you about things besides church and the Bible. We have other interests like you.
7. We love your notes of appreciation. They mean more than you know. You have a way of sending them when we really need them. Thank you!
8. We love talking to the real you. Many people show us a spiritual front. Truthfully, we’d rather see your dark side than a fake spiritual one. Thank you for being yourself!
9. We are slow to open up. It is not because of you. We’ve been hurt many times by people who say the same things you are saying to us. Give us time.
10. If we can’t be close to you, it doesn’t mean we don’t truly love you. We only have room for a handful of very close friends. We simply don’t have the time or energy to be close to tons of people. Please don’t take it personally.
11. Please don’t try to use our kids to get to us. We love our kids and don’t want anyone to use them. Our kids also can’t go to every kid’s birthday party from the church.
12. If we ever say “no” to you, please understand that it is very hard for us. We want to serve you. We want to minister to you. We want you to like us. Sometimes, we simply can’t do everything. We hope you understand.
13. More than anything, we want to represent Christ to you. When we let you down (and we will), we pray you will show us grace.
14. We want you to know that we value your prayers more than you will ever know.
15. When you do become our close friend, you are an answer to prayer and a gift from God!

I highlighted a few things in bold. I've heard my own pastor make those statements more than once...

The rest of them don't seem like something my pastor would say or think at all though.