My Experience

TheIndependent · #1 12-07-2010, 09:43 AM

After tirelessly reading so many threads which appear to me to be from various points of view, I've come to this conclusion: the organization seems to be filled with so much confusion, turmoil, and politics...all the while, IMO, God is sitting back wondering when "His" people will get it right.

I am simply stating what's on my mind, not only based on various threads here on AFF, but also from past experiences. So, my responses are genuine and should be taken in such fashion. In no way am I trying to convey a message or spirit of division; simply put, I would hope others who have been in my shoes and are searching for the truth (who don't claim they've found it, yet) would speak up. Of course, others who have "found it" and are firmly devoted to the organization are more than welcome to speak up as well. No worries, I won't be using anyone's initials out of respect for privacy.

I've been under the voice of Pentecostal preaching for about 10 years now. Prior to, I went where ever my parents decided to go for a short spell. Needless to say, I've been to a number of churches and heard a wide spectrum of preaching styles and messages. Overall, I like the lively, more fired-up preaching/teaching and music. So, I should fit well into the Pentecostal faith, right?

My journey began when I received the Holy Ghost, got baptised in Jesus' name, and started learning so much more about the Word than I had before. Talk about missing out! I was missing out on a lot. From a non-UPCI church to one that was affiliated, things took a noticeable turn toward what I thought was better at the time. I "cleaned up" in more ways than one -- got rid of "unacceptable" music and my TV, quit going to certain places that were told to me to be contradicting the Christian walk, left the friends I knew for all of my life, etc. It all happened so fast, there was no time for me to question anything; I thought all was going well.

Little did I know the damage it was causing for my own flesh and blood (parents/grandparents), and those friends of mine I knew for well-longer than the people I just got started knowing at the church. Being questioned on what I was getting myself into, why I stopped listening to my "music" (even though country music isn't all that influential for me, as it may have been for others), why I stopped watching TV, etc. So many questions that the only answer I had was "Well, I just don't believe in that." It didn't take long before tensions and numerous arguments began, which eventually lead to me being kicked out of my home.

Prior to being kicked out, I was already exploring the idea of moving closer to the church to become more involved. An opportunity came up for me to move, but my folks reacted much worse and much sooner than I expected. From that point on, one thing lead to another. More arguments and tension, long periods of not speaking to one another. Come wedding time, things appeared to be fine. More arguments and tension. Come time for children to be born, more arguments and tension. All of this while living under the doctrine of separation and, as I realized much later, near isolation.

Situations occurred later on down the road, including a change in pastorship, then later the opportunity to move back closer to home and family. Additionally, moving back home allowed me to be part of a church that is still affiliated with the organization but is far from preaching the UPCI's definition of standards and holiness.

Granted God blessed me while under the organizational preaching, I realize it took me walking so treacherously in that chapter of my life in order for me to see where I've been and where I am now. The people I'm around now certainly do not fit the organization's guidelines as a Christian. However, they are far more genuine and sincere than many I've seen who are strictly involved with the organization and hold so dearly its truth.

God has blessed me far beyond what I'm remotely worthy of and poured out layer upon layer of mercy and grace. I'm not disguising myself as something I'm not. Situations that I will not mention on here allowed me to see the plasticity that is spewed from the actions of so many people who are so devoted to living under the organization's strict demands and commands, yet while away from the "chosen few" pull stunts that the organziation would label as backslidden.

As a result of my life's story over the past 10 years, I've come to this realization: God is the ultimate Judge and Author of salvation, Giver of grace and mercy, and ultimately the One who will forgive me for things I fall short of according to Him, not man.

An organization whose reputation is that of confusion, turmoil, and politics I would hope one day can sit down and analyze trends to see where they have fallen short. IMO, instead of preaching so firmly on don't do this, don't do that, I can clearly see the difference when preaching is centered around reaching out to people who have no idea where to begin. Preaching 10,000 commandments instead of the original 10 is, apparently, leaving a very bad taste in a lot of people's mouths, including my own.

This is my story, this is my song. As I said, my responses are genuine and should be taken in such fashion. Let the responses come. Hopefully, the Admins won't consider this anything other than a testimony of where God has lead me from and where He's leading me now.

Truthseeker · #2 12-07-2010, 09:52 AM

Nothingwrong with giving up things in our lives such as ungodly music, tv etc....but our attitude or manner in doing things can the problem.

TheIndependent · #3 12-07-2010, 10:06 AM

@Truthsseeker, believe me...my attitude was "Hey, I'm all for what's right and will get me to Heaven." But, then again, I was going from one extreme to another at the time. I've learved, after the fact, just doing that (going from one extreme to another) can cause so much damage, I don't think it could be repaired; if it could, it would take a life long process to do so. God's the same as He was before I knew Him, and I feel He knows where I'm at and what's best for me since I've gotten to know Him and what He's all about, even after pulling away from the extremism. It's all about balance, IMO.

Withdrawn · #4 12-07-2010, 10:21 AM

Your story sounds very similar to mine - only my "extremist" separation came about 25 years ago when I was 18 (and put an irreparable distance between my parents and me), and continued for over 20 years before God started to speak to me and opened my eyes to a lot of inconsistencies.

I'll be praying for you. It's a journey of faith, no doubt. We all just need to be careful that we don't swing to the other extreme. God bless!

aegsm76 · #5 12-07-2010, 10:26 AM

I am always baffled when people mention "the organization". I have attended several different churches in several parts of the country, due to moving. I always focused on my local church as opposed to "the organization". The organization did not seem to have much influence on me. Certainly not as much influence as my local pastor or church.
Therefore, I am always baffled when the organization is blamed.
I too have noticed people being "fake" or "plastic", but I am not sure how "the organization" has anything to do with that. I have ran into plenty of fakes from other organizations.
Glad to hear that you are in a place where you feel better now.

The Mrs · #6 12-07-2010, 10:31 AM

Your 'song' is very familiar to many here. Thank you for sharing.

sandie · #7 12-07-2010, 10:42 AM

Your experience sounds familiar, it comes close to my own.

I did the blind obedience to the rules in the beginning which nearly cost me my marraige, my family and friends.

God sees these things, He knows the heart and all the surrounding issues we face in and out of any church.

I've found God to be more faithful then I could have possibly imagined. Just as it sounds you have.

Keep looking to Him, "trusting Him with all your heart and leaning not on your own understanding".

missourimary · #8 12-07-2010, 10:44 AM

Your story is very similar to mine, too.

scotty · #9 12-07-2010, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aegsm76

I am always baffled when people mention "the organization". I have attended several different churches in several parts of the country, due to moving. I always focused on my local church as opposed to "the organization". The organization did not seem to have much influence on me. Certainly not as much influence as my local pastor or church.
Therefore, I am always baffled when the organization is blamed.
I too have noticed people being "fake" or "plastic", but I am not sure how "the organization" has anything to do with that. I have ran into plenty of fakes from other organizations.
Glad to hear that you are in a place where you feel better now.

Bingo !

Truthseeker · #10 12-07-2010, 02:13 PM

"balance" is subjective, God hasn't said anything about balance. "what saith the lord" is what counts. Problem being what he said and what we think he said.

Sometimes true discipleship can cost us friends, family etc...... Just like Jesus said it could, but let it be because of true righteousness sake and not self righteouss atttitude or loveless presentation of our stance.