Getting Married

erika.baldock · #1 05-10-2011, 12:49 PM

Alright, so me and my boyfriend have been living together for 5 years and have a 3 year old son. I got back into church and after some planning and discussing, we are getting married in June! Woot woot! I want to be a good wife. This may be dumb but does anyone have any advice or opinions on it? Anything bible supported? Really, im looking for anything at all, lol.

AncientPaths · #2 05-10-2011, 01:07 PM

My rule of thumb is to try to always treat my wife with at least the same respect and courtesy I would treat a stranger on the street. Has proven to be a good reminder for me. It's amazing how some married people treat each other, in my opinion.

RandyWayne · #3 05-10-2011, 01:13 PM

As far as the ceremony goes, I have one word of advice (OK, two), Vegas Baby!

Aquila · #4 05-10-2011, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erika.baldock

Alright, so me and my boyfriend have been living together for 5 years and have a 3 year old son. I got back into church and after some planning and discussing, we are getting married in June! Woot woot! I want to be a good wife. This may be dumb but does anyone have any advice or opinions on it? Anything bible supported? Really, im looking for anything at all, lol.

Treat each other with grace. Understand that you're both fallen creatures and you will fail and frustrate one another at times. Don't demand perfection. Don't demand absolute fulfillment and identity from your spouse, only Jesus can bring absolute fulfillment and identity. Every marriage has ups and downs, take things one day at a time and don't sweat the small stuff. Learn to laugh... even at your failures and your spouses failures. Understand both of you are "under construction". Remove the "D" word from your vocabularies. Anything short of physical abuse and violence toward yourself or your children can be worked out with much prayer, understanding, and counsel. Seek to assist each other in fulfilling the other's dreams. Be the wind between the other's wings. Always remember you're "partners" and never move into the realm of being adversaries. If your partner fails you or even sins against God, that's your partner with a weakness, not the enemy. See each other as the Father sees you... with an imputed righteousness housed in earthen vessels.

Learn to forgive.
Learn to laugh.
Always love.

King's Child · #5 05-10-2011, 06:59 PM

First of all I want to say congratulations.

I would say that one of the main things is to agree that divorce is not an option. When you enter a marriage with the attitude that if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce, then most of the time that is what happens.

Pray for your spouse. Pray that you can be the wife that he needs but also that he can be the husband that you need and together you can be the parents your child(ren) need.

There is a saying that a family that prays together stays together. That is true.

Also, never go to bed mad at each other. My pastor said if you have to stay up all night and fight but don't go to bed mad.

Truthseeker · #6 05-10-2011, 07:39 PM

just obey your husband in everything.

Pragmatist · #7 05-10-2011, 08:15 PM

I recommend the book Families Where Grace Is In Place by Jeff Van Vonderen.

erika.baldock · #8 05-10-2011, 10:45 PM

Wow, so much great response! I appreciate all your great advice and will take all of it to heart(except maybe the one where i do everything my husband tells me to do, lol)

Aquila · #9 05-11-2011, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King's Child

First of all I want to say congratulations.

I would say that one of the main things is to agree that divorce is not an option. When you enter a marriage with the attitude that if it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce, then most of the time that is what happens.

Pray for your spouse. Pray that you can be the wife that he needs but also that he can be the husband that you need and together you can be the parents your child(ren) need.

There is a saying that a family that prays together stays together. That is true.

Also, never go to bed mad at each other. My pastor said if you have to stay up all night and fight but don't go to bed mad.

The bolded is a BIG one. I totally agree.

Aquila · #10 05-11-2011, 09:07 AM

I was talking to a friend about this. He said that it's also important to build your dreams "together". Often one person's dream isn't what the other desires. I personally know what it's like to be called to ministry and discover that your spouse has very little interest or desire to be married to a man in ministry. Be SURE you have unified vision for the future.