Missing church to be the church

[shag]

Oftentimes, I feel like I have made an error over the years, of not being there for God by missing an opportunity to help someone that's not "in (the) church", or "closer connect" in friendship with someone that is in some type of need(great or small) but instead choosing /prioritizing a 3x per week meeting at "church".

My dad for instance, does not attend anywhere, and I am very busy during the week and mist Saturdays with work and family, and almost the only time I have it seems is "church service" time. I feel looking down thru the years, I could've witnessed to him the "right priorities" by missing "church" to be with him when he could use help, or even just being closer relationship wise by spending time with him. Maybe I have missed a lot of opportunities to reach folks, by attending 3x per week because it's "expected", meanwhile I could be ministering to someone's life. And only meet one to two times a week even tho "many" will be convinced in their mind that I'm having problems and am about to slide the slipper....

Some(many) would probably say, that's fine now and then just don't make a habit of missing the house of God"....
Or.... you're being a better witness for God by showing him how important it is to be "at church", or be at the "house of God".


Any thoughts ?

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by shag

Oftentimes, I feel like I have made an error over the years, of not being there for God by missing an opportunity to help someone that's not "in (the) church", or "closer connect" in friendship with someone that is in some type of need(great or small) but instead choosing /prioritizing a 3x per week meeting at "church".

My dad for instance, does not attend anywhere, and I am very busy during the week and mist Saturdays with work and family, and almost the only time I have it seems is "church service" time. I feel looking down thru the years, I could've witnessed to him the "right priorities" by missing "church" to be with him when he could use help, or even just being closer relationship wise by spending time with him. Maybe I have missed a lot of opportunities to reach folks, by attending 3x per week because it's "expected", meanwhile I could be ministering to someone's life. And only meet one to two times a week even tho "many" will be convinced in their mind that I'm having problems and am about to slide the slipper....

Some(many) would probably say, that's fine now and then just don't make a habit of missing the house of God"....
Or.... you're being a better witness for God by showing him how important it is to be "at church", or be at the "house of God".


Any thoughts ?

I'd make at least one service a week an absolute priority. I'd be flexible with the remaining services should someone I love be in need of help. If I had to help them on Sunday, I'd be sure to make Wednesday the next week. If I had to help them Wednesday, I'd be sure to make Sunday the following week.

I also think you need to communicate your situation to your pastor so that he knows your situation. If he doesn't care that family is occasionally in need and nearly forbids you to assist them... leave the church. It's cultic.

[Dagwood]

I've heard many of the same things you stated. Those wives who had "backslidden" husbands would "miss church" and be labeled as giving into the devil's ways. Absolute nonsense. In those circumstances, sensitivity has to be excercised.

For whatever reason, your dad didn't want to come to church. Who knows what kind of witness you were to him? Only God knows. You can't go back and undo anything, except step back and analyze. Then see where you can improve from there. Talk to him honestly, see what he says. That will probably tell you where you can improve without even asking his opinion.

As for how often one goes to church, we've been there and done that. Many times, it's no different than working. Going so much and doing so much, one can easily get burned out. I don't think God ever intended for His people to get burned out in doing His work. Being balanced in what we do, no matter what it is or where, is so critical. Even if we miss church, we're still a witness. We can still fellowship with others around us. It's just a matter of making it a priority to do so. What we do away from the church building is just as important as what's done within it...because we are the church everywhere we go.

[Aquila]

The Ten Commandments illustrate the principle of sanctifying one day out of seven and dedicating it to worship. Therefore, as a general rule, I think making at least one service a priority within any seven day period is reasonable and principled.

[Amanah]

My goal is to be the Church in my everyday life, not just at special times of the week.
I think it is dangerous to be so caught up in activites that you neglect your family.
You may lose an unsaved family member because of it.

I was so caught up in church 3 times a week, teaching sunday school, choir, outreach ect. that in hindsight, I think I would have done better by spending more time with my family.

[shag]

Good words Dagwood, thanx for your input.

Also, my brother generally works 6 days a week construction, does not attend church, and he has been working Sundays on a house for 3 months trying to get it ready for them to move in to. It was a repo great deal but man it was in very bad shape. I have not helped him except one time, and he had hoped to have been moved in a month ago. So the only day hes there, I'm "at church" morning and night, and usually family(And once in a while work) during Sunday afternoons....

What does he think of that I wonder?


I'm thinkin maybe no wonder he doesn't want to be a part of "the church"

[Digging4Truth]

My wife's grandparents owned a restaurant. When her grandfather was diagnosed with Alzhiemers and could no longer help with the restaurant we went down to help her grandmother run the restaurant.

That went well for one weekend but after that we were told that we couldn't do that anymore. We had to be at church. So... simple as that. We quit going to help her.


To make the long story short... She soon lost the restaurant and eventually lost her home. She finally died in a nursing home with nothing to her name but what fit in her little closet in that room. We had her cremated and I preached the funeral.

Looking back I am so sad that I had the mindset back then that I did. If that happened now I would have helped her out. I would have done what it took to take care of family because you can worship God anywhere. If I had to take my weekends and head down to Texas to help her out that is what I would do. Maybe she would have come to church with us while we were down there.

But... I was a yes man back then.

Also my own grandfather lived in Texas as well. We would go "home" to visit in Texas once or twice a year. Usually once because they couldn't afford to let us go twice since we were the sunday school teachers, singers, peanut brittle makers etc.

When I went down to Texas it was hard to see everyone in that short amount of time with people stretched from an hour south of Houston on out through East Texas. One day I heard that my grandfather (also having beginning signs of alzhiemers) had wondered off into the woods and they couldn't find him. The search went on for days. They finally found him dead face down in a big pool of muddy water with his axe over his shoulder.

I hadn't seen him in 10 years. But... I didn't miss much church though... you can believe that.

I think this is where the concept rolls in that we ARE the church. The church isn't a building and family is important. Like I tell people who work a job so hard and never take a time away with their family. I tell them... when they kill you... they'll find somebody else. One can attend church anywhere. If you are out of town you can go to church... maybe even with your family.

But you only get one life to be with family. Church doesn't take a complete second seat to family... there is balance to be found in this... but family should never have to become second rate in our life over church attendance in one particular place.

[shag]

Originally Posted by Amanah

My goal is to be the Church in my everyday life, not just at special times of the week.
I think it is dangerous to be so caught up in activites that you neglect your family.
You may lose an unsaved family member because of it.

I was so caught up in church 3 times a week, teaching sunday school, choir, outreach ect. that in hindsight, I think I would have done better by spending more time with my family.

My wife and I have been there ourselves ...

[TGBTG]

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

My wife's grandparents owned a restaurant. When her grandfather was diagnosed with Alzhiemers and could no longer help with the restaurant we went down to help her grandmother run the restaurant.

That went well for one weekend but after that we were told that we couldn't do that anymore. We had to be at church. So... simple as that. We quit going to help her.


To make the long story short... She soon lost the restaurant and eventually lost her home. She finally died in a nursing home with nothing to her name but what fit in her little closet in that room. We had her cremated and I preached the funeral.

Looking back I am so sad that I had the mindset back then that I did. If that happened now I would have helped her out. I would have done what it took to take care of family because you can worship God anywhere. If I had to take my weekends and head down to Texas to help her out that is what I would do. Maybe she would have come to church with us while we were down there.

But... I was a yes man back then.

Also my own grandfather lived in Texas as well. We would go "home" to visit in Texas once or twice a year. Usually once because they couldn't afford to let us go twice since we were the sunday school teachers, singers, peanut brittle makers etc.

When I went down to Texas it was hard to see everyone in that short amount of time with people stretched from an hour south of Houston on out through East Texas. One day I heard that my grandfather (also having beginning signs of alzhiemers) had wondered off into the woods and they couldn't find him. The search went on for days. They finally found him dead face down in a big mud puddle with his axe over his shoulder.

I hadn't seen him in 10 years. But... I didn't miss much church though... you can believe that.

I think this is where the concept rolls in that we ARE the church. The church isn't a building and family is important. Like I tell people who work a job so hard and never take a time away with their family. I tell them... when they kill you... they'll find somebody else. One can attend church anywhere. If you are out of town you can go to church... maybe even with your family.

But you only get one life to be with family. Church doesn't take a complete second seat to family... there is balance to be found in this... but family should never have to become second rate in our life over church attendance in one particular place.

Very good post...and the emboldened is especially a good reminder for me...lol

[Dagwood]

This thread hits rather close to home for me...

But, I'll spare the details, as it would bring about too many thoughts and more emotion about a certain situation than I care to reveal at the moment...