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  #1  
Old 01-05-2012, 11:42 AM
deacon blues deacon blues is offline
Pride of the Neighborhood


 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,166
What Must I Do To Be Saved?

For fun let's list ALL of the requirements (extra-biblical) that we must do to go heaven:

Don't go to movies,
Don't cut your hair
Don't wear make up
Don't wear jewelry
Don't wear pants (women only)
Don't wear shorts
Don't have a beard, mustache, sideburns, goatee, soul patch
Don't own a tv
Don't watch a tv
Don't watch DVDs or videos or 16 mm filmstrips
Don't listen to wurrly music
Don't go to amusement parks
Don't go to baseball games
Don't go to football games
Don't go to hockey games
Don't go to basketball games
Don't play Little League anything
Don't participate in school sports
Don't participate in any school extra curricular activities
Don't wear wedding rangs
Don't wear short sleeves
Don't wear colored chapstick

Just to name a few...

Anyone else want to add to the list?

This ones for Timmy
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‎When a newspaper posed the question, "What's Wrong with the World?" G. K. Chesterton reputedly wrote a brief letter in response: "Dear Sirs: I am. Sincerely Yours, G. K. Chesterton." That is the attitude of someone who has grasped the message of Jesus.
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  #2  
Old 01-05-2012, 11:47 AM
houston houston is offline
Isaiah 56:4-5


 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SOUTH ZION
Posts: 11,307
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

This isn't fun.
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  #3  
Old 01-05-2012, 11:57 AM
Aquila Aquila is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 31,124
Be saved by repentance, baptism, receiving the Holy Ghost. Be holy by obeying the Ten Commandments.
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  #4  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:00 PM
RandyWayne RandyWayne is offline
Registered Member


 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 16,746
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

Quote:
Don't go to movies,
Don't cut your hair
Don't wear make up
Don't wear jewelry
Don't wear pants (women only)
Don't wear shorts
Don't have a beard, mustache, sideburns, goatee, soul patch
Don't own a tv
Don't watch a tv
Don't watch DVDs or videos or 16 mm filmstrips
Don't listen to wurrly music
Don't go to amusement parks
Don't go to baseball games
Don't go to football games
Don't go to hockey games
Don't go to basketball games
Don't play Little League anything
Don't participate in school sports
Don't participate in any school extra curricular activities
Don't wear wedding rangs
Don't wear short sleeves
Don't wear colored chapstick
Don't miss church. Ever!

DO pay your tithes (based on 10% of your gross paycheck).

DO pay offerings (which was taught to be 5% of your gross). Anything above THAT is true giving.

DO "obey them that have the rule (or ruler?) over you" in ALL things.

Don't go on a date unchaperoned.

Don't kiss your wife until she IS your wife.

Don't even think of asking her to be your wife until you get your pastors permission.

Last edited by RandyWayne; 01-05-2012 at 12:05 PM.
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  #5  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:03 PM
AreYouReady? AreYouReady? is offline
Registered Member


 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5,600
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

Quote:
Originally Posted by deacon blues View Post
For fun let's list ALL of the requirements (extra-biblical) that we must do to go heaven:

Don't go to movies,
Don't cut your hair
Don't wear make up
Don't wear jewelry
Don't wear pants (women only)
Don't wear shorts
Don't have a beard, mustache, sideburns, goatee, soul patch
Don't own a tv
Don't watch a tv
Don't watch DVDs or videos or 16 mm filmstrips
Don't listen to wurrly music
Don't go to amusement parks
Don't go to baseball games
Don't go to football games
Don't go to hockey games
Don't go to basketball games
Don't play Little League anything
Don't participate in school sports
Don't participate in any school extra curricular activities
Don't wear wedding rangs
Don't wear short sleeves
Don't wear colored chapstick

Just to name a few...

Anyone else want to add to the list?

This ones for Timmy
Some people took it so far as to not frequent any restaurants that serve beer.
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  #6  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:13 PM
Pilgrum's Avatar
Pilgrum Pilgrum is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 143
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AreYouReady? View Post
Some people took it so far as to not frequent any restaurants that serve beer.
Yuck!!! That would limit your choices pretty much to only fast food restaurants.
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This world is not my home, I'm just a passing through.
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  #7  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:14 PM
RandyWayne RandyWayne is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 16,746
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilgrum View Post
Yuck!!! That would limit your choices pretty much to only fast food restaurants.
.....and buffets. Why do you think they are so popular with church folk? OK, the real reason they are popular is because the never ending smorgasbord of blandness they offer but still, I can't recall any that serve alcohol other than perhaps a few oriental ones I've been to.
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  #8  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:15 PM
Titus2woman Titus2woman is offline


 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,485
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

All of the above plus.

No open toe shoes.
No clear fingernail polish.
Nothing in the hair that is not the same color as the hair.
Hair up for all married women except at home and if there are no non-family males in the house.
Long sleeves only for men.
Any male on platform or picking up offering must wear a suit.
Women must have ankle length skirts on platform.
No swimming with anyone but family
No waterparks/beaches but the lake is OK... (pastor is a freshwater fisherman)
No hugging non family members of the opposite sex. Every time we visit extended Bapist family this gets me in trouble- I stick my hand out from habbit... They beleive Christians hug everybody.

Must have pastors permission to accept a job offer out of town, move to anywhere to far to drive to his church, go on vacation, buy a house, new car or other large purchases.

Of course to not seek permission is disobedience, which is the same sin as witchcraft, which is how you will be lost, you witch you.

Last edited by Titus2woman; 01-05-2012 at 12:27 PM.
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  #9  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:19 PM
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Amanah Amanah is offline
This is still that!


 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sebastian, FL
Posts: 9,884
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

no beach
no pool
no mixed bathing

no visiting other churches of same persuasion (other oneness churches) without letting the Pastor know

no dating unless in a group (probably a good rule for teenagers actually)

no riding in the car with anyone from the opposite sex that you are not a relative of (probably not a bad idea)

can not touch opposite sex at all, unless married, can only shake their hands

must wear pantyhose (females)

must address anyone in a leadership position by last name, IE, Bro Smith, Sister Smith, ect.

women stay in kitchen and talk, wait on men who are in living room

going to the doctor is seen as a lack of faith, though not prohibited,
women encouraged to have babies at home

must win one soul a year or your salvation is in jeopardy
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  #10  
Old 01-05-2012, 12:21 PM
RandyWayne RandyWayne is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 16,746
Re: What Must I Do To Be Saved?

Don't celebrate Christmas with a tree in the house.

Don't use anyone's name without using "Brother" or "Sister".

Don't describe getting together with friends as "getting together". You MUST call it "fellow shipping".

Don't truly celebrate someone getting saved until they complete all three steps AND all of the things on the above lists.
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