Left the UPC...Now Back Again

[Mirth1981]

Well, I'm not sure if many of you will remember my story. I left the UPC in 2010. Married to a UPC minister (he was at the time, not now)...broke his heart when I left, etc., etc...I did a lot of research and personal Bible study around the time I left, because I'd always had a nagging suspicion that some of the UPC doctrines I'd been taught did not have a strong biblical basis, mostly those concerning "standards"....but also some of the bigger ones.


He ended up leaving eventually also, and letting his license go. I suspect in large part because of the strain on our marriage (yes, we came close to divorce), but also for other reasons as well.


Anyway, my husband and I recently moved to a different state. We both agreed before moving that we wanted a fresh start spiritually, and we both wanted to find a church that we could attend together and find some spiritual healing. We both felt (and still feel) hurt and broken...wounded, confused.

So we went "church shopping." That sounds horrible, but I guess that's what some people call it. We searched for non denom churches that allowed God's spirit to move in their services. We prayed for God to show us where he wanted us to be. Yet we never felt that nudge or confirmation in those churches, although I did enjoy some of the teaching. In the meantime, old friends of my husband's kept inviting us to their UPC church. Finally we visited...and after several visits we both agreed to stay a while.

So now here we are. Attending a UPC church again...together. I guess it's a compromise. I can't say that I've changed my mind regarding the doctrines I disagree with. That probably won't happen. The pastor seems like a balanced man, and he and his family seem like quality people. It seems like a balanced church so far.

Yet I can't help but feel like I'm taking a step backwards. I also fear that things are going to come right back around and history is going to repeat itself, and I don't want to go through that again. It was an extremely painful process. I'm not sure what the purpose of all this is.

Anybody out there that has had a similar experience or could offer any input?

[Sasha]

Doesn't sound like you have felt a nudge or confirmation there either.

Attending church is important to some. Attend because God is also there and don't think about it being UPC or otherwise.

[navygoat1998]

When my wife and I left, we could not go back.

[houston]

What a sad story.

[houston]

Attending a UPC will contribute to the confusion.

[seekerman]

Originally Posted by Mirth1981

Well, I'm not sure if many of you will remember my story. I left the UPC in 2010. Married to a UPC minister (he was at the time, not now)...broke his heart when I left, etc., etc...I did a lot of research and personal Bible study around the time I left, because I'd always had a nagging suspicion that some of the UPC doctrines I'd been taught did not have a strong biblical basis, mostly those concerning "standards"....but also some of the bigger ones.


He ended up leaving eventually also, and letting his license go. I suspect in large part because of the strain on our marriage (yes, we came close to divorce), but also for other reasons as well.


Anyway, my husband and I recently moved to a different state. We both agreed before moving that we wanted a fresh start spiritually, and we both wanted to find a church that we could attend together and find some spiritual healing. We both felt (and still feel) hurt and broken...wounded, confused.

So we went "church shopping." That sounds horrible, but I guess that's what some people call it. We searched for non denom churches that allowed God's spirit to move in their services. We prayed for God to show us where he wanted us to be. Yet we never felt that nudge or confirmation in those churches, although I did enjoy some of the teaching. In the meantime, old friends of my husband's kept inviting us to their UPC church. Finally we visited...and after several visits we both agreed to stay a while.

So now here we are. Attending a UPC church again...together. I guess it's a compromise. I can't say that I've changed my mind regarding the doctrines I disagree with. That probably won't happen. The pastor seems like a balanced man, and he and his family seem like quality people. It seems like a balanced church so far.

Yet I can't help but feel like I'm taking a step backwards. I also fear that things are going to come right back around and history is going to repeat itself, and I don't want to go through that again. It was an extremely painful process. I'm not sure what the purpose of all this is.

Anybody out there that has had a similar experience or could offer any input?

If you're determined to walk the path of a building based 'church', I guess the UPC is as good as any of them. If all the ministry in the 'church' are good people, one could do worse.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Mirth1981

Well, I'm not sure if many of you will remember my story. I left the UPC in 2010. Married to a UPC minister (he was at the time, not now)...broke his heart when I left, etc., etc...I did a lot of research and personal Bible study around the time I left, because I'd always had a nagging suspicion that some of the UPC doctrines I'd been taught did not have a strong biblical basis, mostly those concerning "standards"....but also some of the bigger ones.


He ended up leaving eventually also, and letting his license go. I suspect in large part because of the strain on our marriage (yes, we came close to divorce), but also for other reasons as well.


Anyway, my husband and I recently moved to a different state. We both agreed before moving that we wanted a fresh start spiritually, and we both wanted to find a church that we could attend together and find some spiritual healing. We both felt (and still feel) hurt and broken...wounded, confused.

So we went "church shopping." That sounds horrible, but I guess that's what some people call it. We searched for non denom churches that allowed God's spirit to move in their services. We prayed for God to show us where he wanted us to be. Yet we never felt that nudge or confirmation in those churches, although I did enjoy some of the teaching. In the meantime, old friends of my husband's kept inviting us to their UPC church. Finally we visited...and after several visits we both agreed to stay a while.

So now here we are. Attending a UPC church again...together. I guess it's a compromise. I can't say that I've changed my mind regarding the doctrines I disagree with. That probably won't happen. The pastor seems like a balanced man, and he and his family seem like quality people. It seems like a balanced church so far.

Yet I can't help but feel like I'm taking a step backwards. I also fear that things are going to come right back around and history is going to repeat itself, and I don't want to go through that again. It was an extremely painful process. I'm not sure what the purpose of all this is.

Anybody out there that has had a similar experience or could offer any input?

I am praying for you and your family, that you and your husband make the best decisions regarding your spiritual life.

I can't answer your question because we left many years ago and do not forsee any circumstances under which we would go back. We have family and friends who are UPC so are still pretty close the the UPC and what goes on in the org.

[Mirth1981]

I didn't ever plan on going back either, so I understand where some of you are coming from when you say you would never go back. Yet here I am...and for some reason, this seems like the right place to be...for now, anyways.

Thank you for your prayers CC1.

[phareztamar]

Welcome back.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by phareztamar

Welcome back.