Pregnant at 16 by her pastor!

[StMark]

Pregnant at 16 at the hands of her pastor; what's a girl to do?

February 4, 2008

DEAR ABBY: I have a big problem. I am 16 years old, have a good job and do well in school. I go to a Christian nondenominational church every Sunday and enjoy that, too.

The problem is my pastor. “Reverend Ron” is 48, married, and has children and grandchildren. We have become attracted to each other and have secretly become a couple since last fall.

Every Monday night, after I get off work, I go over to my church and meet Reverend Ron in his office where we have sex. We agreed to tell no one, so as not to shame ourselves or our families.

Six weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant. I haven't told him yet, and we continue with our Monday night meetings. Abortion is not an option, but neither is shaming my family, much less the whole church. Abby, what do I do?

– In True Love
in Washington

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniont..._1c04abby.html[/quote]

[Ron]

Uh, that Ron isn't me!!!

[StMark]

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniont..._1c04abby.html


Here's a better link

[StMark]

Originally Posted by Ron

Uh, that Ron isn't me!!!

better not be fweeeeewwweee!

[COOPER]

That nasty man needs prison time!

[dizzyde]

This is just tragic.

[COOPER]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

This is just tragic.

I like Abby's reply:

DEAR IN TRUE LOVE: The first thing you must do is tell your mother what you have told me. If there is any “shaming,” it should not be directed at you, your family or your church. You are 16, idealistic and inexperienced. “Reverend Ron,” however, is an adult who has literally abused his “sacred” trust to you, his congregation and his God. He had so little concern for your welfare that he didn't even use birth control. This is not how grown men show “true love.” You cannot hide this secret forever. At some point the truth will be revealed. Tell your mother now, so responsible adults who love you can give you the support you so desperately need. If you're afraid to speak to your mother alone, then have a friend with you when you do it. The only thing you cannot do is remain silent.

[Margies3]

in theory that sounds like good advice, Coop. But I wonder how her mother will actually react? I feel for this poor child.

I wonder if someone will direct her to something like a local Crisis Pregnancy Center (that's NOT like Planned Parenthood. At CPC they do not do abortions. They talk to the girls about either keeping the baby and raising it or else releasing the child for adoption) The CPC here is very good about giving support in situations like this. They would get someone involved to go with her to talk to her parents to let tell them about the pregnancy if she felt the need for it.

[DividedThigh]

i wish the pastor dude would go to jail for what he has and is doing and that this would not be voiced abroad, what a tragedy, dt

[OneAccord]

Originally Posted by Margies3

in theory that sounds like good advice, Coop. But I wonder how her mother will actually react? I feel for this poor child.

I wonder if someone will direct her to something like a local Crisis Pregnancy Center (that's NOT like Planned Parenthood. At CPC they do not do abortions. They talk to the girls about either keeping the baby and raising it or else releasing the child for adoption) The CPC here is very good about giving support in situations like this. They would get someone involved to go with her to talk to her parents to let tell them about the pregnancy if she felt the need for it.

I agree here. Telling mom may not solve the problem. In some cases, Mom is so caught up in the offenders religious web of lies that she would actually side with the offender against her own daughter. A girl in our neighbor hood was molested by here step-father and the Mom, sent the girl away as a trouble maker who "lied" on her hubby. She sent the girl away to live with relatives and kept the bum. No, Abbey should tell the girl to by-pass Mom, Go directly to the authorties.

Heres another point: More than likely this girl isn't the only victim. People like this more often than not spreads their "love" around to multiple victims. When the truth comes out (and it will) this girl will be devatated more by the fact that she isn't the "only special girl" in this mans sordid life. What he has done is unspeakable. But when other victims are discovered, this girl will be crushed, and the baby, should she decide to keep it, will be a constant reminder of how she was betrayed. So sad for all involved. Except the creep. Whatever happens to him will be less than he deserves.

I have heard rumors that there is a church in a certain state that has a pastor who molested several young girls over a period of time. He was tried and convicted and sent to prison for a long time (probably not long enough). But, and this is so sad.... he is still the pastor of the church. The church believing the whole thing was a lie on the "man of God", chose to keep him as pastor. Its said he makes audio taped sermons and directs the church by letter and phone calls. Some of the parents of the victims still attend there, they say, and forces these girls to listen to the voice of this slime every Sunday preaching about the love of God.