Going back to the UPC

[Sam]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Cause I wear shorts and go to the movies, etc.

How do the folks at the UPC church treat you and perceive you?

As Sis. so-and-so's backslidden/sinner/lost husband who is the target of sermons, testimonies, and spoken prayer requests while you are there to hear them?
as a sinner who should be ignored and not looked at or spoken to?
as someone to be avoided in case your sin/attitude "rubs off on them" or "contaminates" them by contact?
do folks come and pull on your arms to get you to the altar at the end of each service?
Are you excluded from any church/family/social events?

[Rico]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

I don't disagree with this. The problem is that far too few children are taught any respect for ANY authority anymore, and it carries over to dysfunctional behavior in every area of their lives. Ask any school teacher what they face in the classroom on a daily basis. We are raising a society of children who do not feel they have to answer to anyone or anything.

Sorry, ranting thread highjack!!

Hehehehe. You make a valid point. However, when it comes to family and church, who has more authority, parents or the pastor, in your opinion.

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by Rico

Well, I am not knocking you or her, so I don't want you to get that impression. It's just that I am of the belief that a woman needs to follow the leading of her husband. There are some decisions I have made that my wife wasn't the most comfortable with, but she has always respected that it was my place to make those decisions and stood with me. I guess I am old school in that way of thinking.

I understand you completely. We have been this way for well over 1 year. She has gone to my former church once for an Avalon concert a few weeks ago and liked it ok but said she could not go there. I agree that she should follow me, but I have no problem being the leader by going back. She and my daughter in the long run will have more respect for me as a leader than they might have before. She knows it is a sacrifice I am willing to take. I do not think that any bad can come from this.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

So is honoring your father and mother.

That doesn't cease at marriage.

True. But honoring your father and mother doesn't mean a woman refuses to follow her husband because of worry over what her father would think. Again, her relationship with her husband takes precedence over her relationship with her father.

[SDG]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I understand you completely. We have been this way for well over 1 year. She has gone to my former church once for an Avalon concert a few weeks ago and liked it ok but said she could not go there. I agree that she should follow me, but I have no problem being the leader by going back. She and my daughter in the long run will have more respect for me as a leader than they might have before. She knows it is a sacrifice I am willing to take. I do not think that any bad can come from this.

Self-sacrifice and denial is exactly the Christ-like model ... Husbands are instructed to love their wives the way Christ loves the church.

As long as you are not sacrificing the TRUTH .. Jesus Christ ... in the process ... do what's best for your family, JT ...

Despite what we all think.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

My wife has no problems with my standards. She is fine with it. She seemed shocked when I told her I would return with her. She asked if that is what I want and I told her I want a healthy and happy family. Somethings are more important than egos or whatever. I did feel weird at first. I felt God lead me to this other church and that going back to the UPC church was going against him, but the truth is that #1 come family #2 comes ministry so I took the high road and if God curses me cause I want to have a great family life them I guess He will, but I am confident that He is happy with me making this choice for my family.

Brother, if God did in fact lead you to this other church then disobeying Him will cause you much more problems.

[TrmptPraise]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

Self-sacrifice and denial is exactly the Christ-like model ... Husbands are instructed to love their wives the way Christ loves the church.

As long as you are not sacrificing the TRUTH .. Jesus Christ ... in the process ... do what's best for your family, JT ...

Despite what we all think.

Don't be shocked.....we agree.

[SavedLou]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I understand you completely. We have been this way for well over 1 year. She has gone to my former church once for an Avalon concert a few weeks ago and liked it ok but said she could not go there. I agree that she should follow me, but I have no problem being the leader by going back. She and my daughter in the long run will have more respect for me as a leader than they might have before. She knows it is a sacrifice I am willing to take. I do not think that any bad can come from this.

keeping your family together is never a bad thing. i think you are being a good leader by having their best interests in mind. will you continue to live outside of the "standards" of that church or are you giving up some things to go back? not that i think you should or shouldn't. i attend a upc church where there is a wide range of "standards" from very conservative to almost no standards. just curious.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by Rico

Hehehehe. You make a valid point. However, when it comes to family and church, who has more authority, parents or the pastor, in your opinion.

A parent should always the foremost authority in a childs life, however, if said parent and child are attending a church that the parent is at odds with the pastor, this is going to be a very damaging environment for everyone concerned.

Which goes back to my previous thought, that if there is a disconnect between the saint and the pulpit, the saint should be earnestly seeking a place where they can stand behind the ministry.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Rico

She didn't marry her father: she married him.

In marriage, we leave father and mother and cleave to our new partner. We are one. Husband/wife relationship supersedes the parent/child relationship but honor/respect for parents must be maintained. This is not always an easy balance to maintain.