Not sure where to go from this point...

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I have no excuses. I just do it.

I don't have any excuses either. My fingers work faster than my brain, but this new keyboard is not helping matters.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I wish the edit button lasted longer. Sometimes I don't catch my typos before it's too late. Very annoying. How are we going to gossip and not be allowed to correct our stuff?!

See if Prax will extend the time. It used to be set for a lot longer than it is now.

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by Evenuntodeath

Sometimes I'm apprehensive about the idea of marrying and raising my future children in UPC. My friend who was pretty liberal is now married and very conservative. And not that its a bad environment for children, but sometimes I think, what if my daughter wanted to play sports like soccer or basketball? Would I really forbid her because of the skirt dress code? What is she wanted to do ballet? Gymnastics? I want my children, (daughters) to live a life filled with many experiences

I think this is a valid concern, and there are Pros and Cons.

There is nothing more important than your Children having a relationship with God, being filled with the Spirit of God, and living a life that is pleasing to the Lord.

I also think that along with that, it's important for children to find and express their talents, be it musical, sports, etc.

I would hope that you could find a balance where you can raise your children in the love and fear of God, while at the same time helping them to find and express their gifts.

If your daughter had a desire to play sports, or become a musician or a ballerina, I would think that it would be great to encourage her talents.

Not to mention that if a child excels in a sport, they can earn a scholarship and further their education.

Aso, being involved in sports can keep children active and out of trouble.

I pray you can strike the balance that you are looking for, in that you can find a church where you can live for God with your whole heart, and where you and your family can develop and express your God given talents.

Would it be possible to stay where you are in church, discuss your real concerns with your Pastor, and let him know that there are areas that you can't agree on?

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Evenuntodeath

I've always worn makeup to church or where ever I please. My makeup has always been light so in many pictures you cannot tell I'm wearing it. Wearing makeup the next Sunday was business as usual for me.

Thank you for clearing that up for me.

[Cindy]

Really it does seem you need to talk with your Pastor. I am one of the fortunate ones that have had great Pastors. I don't however think make up is of the devil, but I do think natural is beautiful.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by ILG

If you decide to do this, just remember that you are not likely to get any compassion for your views. When that happens, you will know that you are making the right decision to leave. On the flip-side, you may want to think twice before speaking with him. If you feel strongly you should.....then maybe you should. But if you know it will be a waste of time, you don't need to put yourself through that, probably.

I disagree with your last statement, anyone who leaves a church, quits a job, gets a divorce, etc. owes it to the other party to talk to them, no matter what.

And, I don't think finding compassion is even a variable here, it's a non-issue. I wouldn't go to the pastor looking for compassion, I don't need it....I would go to him to explain my viewpoint and be honest with him as to why I was leaving, so he would know, and I would know, and that way if we ran into each other in the store sometime, there wouldn't be as much of an awkward moment.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I disagree with your last statement, anyone who leaves a church, quits a job, gets a divorce, etc. owes it to the other party to talk to them, no matter what.

And, I don't think finding compassion is even a variable here, it's a non-issue. I wouldn't go to the pastor looking for compassion, I don't need it....I would go to him to explain my viewpoint and be honest with him as to why I was leaving, so he would know, and I would know, and that way if we ran into each other in the store sometime, there wouldn't be as much of an awkward moment.

I think in some instances people need to talk to the pastor and in some, they just know in their hearts that any conversation is not going to end up well and they should just quietly move on. Sometimes having a conversation, especially if you have tried numerous times in the past that have gone nowhere, it is just time to move on. Only the person intending to have said conversation can determine whether or not that is the case. I think the main question is whether or not the pastor has been respectful and listened to her viewpoint in the past when she has tried to converse. In that case, I would say, yes, have that conversation. But if, in the past, she has left his office and bawled her eyes out, there is no need to put herself through that.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by ILG

I think in some instances people need to talk to the pastor and in some, they just know in their hearts that any conversation is not going to end up well and they should just quietly move on. Sometimes having a conversation, especially if you have tried numerous times in the past that have gone nowhere, it is just time to move on. Only the person intending to have said conversation can determine whether or not that is the case. I think the main question is whether or not the pastor has been respectful and listened to her viewpoint in the past when she has tried to converse. In that case, I would say, yes, have that conversation. But if, in the past, she has left his office and bawled her eyes out, there is no need to put herself through that.

Two things spring to mind here:

1.) From EUD's first post, I didn't pick up on the fact that she had already had any face to face discussions with her pastor.

2.) Even if someone has had conversations prior that didn't turn out that good, they obviously made the decision to stay for the time being. So, in the event that they decide to leave, the courteous thing would be to go back in to the pastor, and not rehash the same old conversations, but let him know respectfully that you have made the decision to leave, and want to do so on the best terms possible.

I just can't visualize any scenario at all where it would be a good idea to just walk out without saying anything.

Just my opinion.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

Two things spring to mind here:

1.) From EUD's first post, I didn't pick up on the fact that she had already had any face to face discussions with her pastor.

2.) Even if someone has had conversations prior that didn't turn out that good, they obviously made the decision to stay for the time being. So, in the event that they decide to leave, the courteous thing would be to go back in to the pastor, and not rehash the same old conversations, but let him know respectfully that you have made the decision to leave, and want to do so on the best terms possible.

I just can't visualize any scenario at all where it would be a good idea to just walk out without saying anything.

Just my opinion.

Sometimes, the right thing to do is discuss it. But I don't agree that that is always the case.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by ILG

Sometimes, the right thing to do is discuss it. But I don't agree that that is always the case.

If you were a pastor, would you feel the same way? Would you want someone walking out without giving you an opportunity to discuss? Because they thought it wouldnt' do any good?

And, even if you had already discussed, wouldn't you appreciate a goodbye?