Left the UPC...Now Back Again - Page 4

MawMaw · #31 07-25-2013, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

I would just like to say I am praying for you as you walk through a deep valley where many voices and opinions call. Salvation is a personal matter and something we must settle in our hearts. However I doubt if there is any church that each one of us attends that we agree 100 % on everything that is taught. I personally am a missionary and there are things I abide by that really would not be a sin for me but could be a sin or hinder others. So it might be called making a tiny sacrifice to help my weaker brothers and sisters. Lots of things are not sins but can be weights that hinder us or tie us down. Examine your life and ask God which I am sure you are doing for His direction. Whatever you do guard against bitterness and remember who taught us most taught in all sincerety. I do believe the Bible is clear on the plan of salvation and coming out and being a seperate people. Remember no church and no people are perfect. I know a few who seem to think they are but they are not...we are all just people who are in great need of God's grace and His help.
Pray much and lean not to the opinion of others...Read often God's word..I know I am telling you things you already know however that is the "missionary" in me!
Above all remember HE leads and guides...sometimes we just don't have enough "brains" to work everything out on our own...God is standing near and will help.

Wisdom!

Revelationist · #32 07-25-2013, 01:39 PM

I was told not to come back, and the cult was told to shun me (and they did, even family, just like th Jehovah Witness).

Nitehawk013 · #33 07-26-2013, 04:42 AM

Correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't Paul instruct the church to disfellowship and shun some for certain issues? I don't know what you were "shunned" for, but there is precedent for shunning those who do certain things in the church.

StillStanding · #34 07-26-2013, 06:12 AM

My prayers are with you as you try to settle into a new church in a new city. Familiarity breeds comfort, so that may be playing a part in your choice.

I have a similar story. I moved to a new city and attended an ex-UPC church for about ten years. Some things transpired that caused us to look for another church. After visiting around, we settled on a UPC church in town. The pastor and people were friendly and welcoming, but because of how my wife and girls looked, we would always be second class Members. I am a musician and I would never be able to play, nor would my wife and girls be allowed to sing in the choir. I had helped teach a Sunday school class for years, but I would never be allowed to do that at this UPC church.

We decided that we could live with that, so we decided to settle there. What happened is that when my wife or girls were blessed and raised their hands to worship at the alter, folks would think that they were praying through! We had an epiphany that the folks of the church thought that if we stuck around, eventually we would be "touched" by God and assimilate into the mindset. In other words, we were treated as back-slidden.

After about six months, we left.

LifeUncommon · #35 07-26-2013, 06:22 AM

As a dog returns to his vomit...

If you left for doctrinal differences, returning will only prolong your confusion and leave you unsettled. I hope you find a bible-preaching church you both like.

crakjak · #36 07-26-2013, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth1981

Thank you for those that have replied. It's nice to know that there are people out there somewhere that understand. I was going to reply to everyone on an individual basis, but realized that could be very repetitious. But I did read every post and appreciate all the input.

I would like to add a few things.

I mostly still look the part of a UPCer. I have kept my hair long, (although I did trim the split ends after I first left the UPC)....I'm still able to sit on it. My husband prefers it long, and I've been concerned that if I cut it, it would affect his feelings towards me. I still wear skirts most of the time....It is my comfort zone, and honestly, I think I look better in skirts. I still have never drank alcohol or engaged in any drugs. That is a personal conviction. The only difference is I wear light makeup.

I said all that to say this: I think many of the people in the UPC church we're attending assume that we're visiting from another UPC church, or that we transferred from another UPC church when we moved. So I think there may be that expectation from some that we fit a certain mold, because we look the part.

You have to find the path that you can walk. The community in the UPC has many benefits, and yes, it is mostly based on common doctrinal agreement, but don't we all like to be around folks who think like us??

We started a different path nearly 30 years ago, we have personally continued to seek after the Lord, and walk in relationship with Him. Still have much family in UPC, and love them all.

Eternal life is to know Jesus Christ, and the Father who sent Him, that is not an organization, it is a love and a relationship with a Person. Know Him and know life, then all other relationship can be honest and true.

crakjak · #37 07-26-2013, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StillStanding

My prayers are with you as you try to settle into a new church in a new city. Familiarity breeds comfort, so that may be playing a part in your choice.

I have a similar story. I moved to a new city and attended an ex-UPC church for about ten years. Some things transpired that caused us to look for another church. After visiting around, we settled on a UPC church in town. The pastor and people were friendly and welcoming, but because of how my wife and girls looked, we would always be second class Members. I am a musician and I would never be able to play, nor would my wife and girls be allowed to sing in the choir. I had helped teach a Sunday school class for years, but I would never be allowed to do that at this UPC church.

We decided that we could live with that, so we decided to settle there. What happened is that when my wife or girls were blessed and raised their hands to worship at the alter, folks would think that they were praying through! We had an epiphany that the folks of the church thought that if we stuck around, eventually we would be "touched" by God and assimilate into the mindset. In other words, we were treated as back-slidden.

After about six months, we left.

Very human for them and you!

We have a family of former UC family that have come to our church, and exactly the opposite has happened, they have five girls, and the all still dress as before.

However, the girls have joined the youth and small groups, and you can just see them blossom with confidence, and are now leaders. Religion divides, Jesus unites!!

commonsense · #38 07-26-2013, 10:43 AM

I understand the conflicting thoughts. Since I'm ex-UPC (3rd generation), my heart is saddened that when I choose to attend, I'm a 2nd class citizen due to lack of compliance to outward standards........
And this makes it difficult for me since my entire life involved the church! My hubby attends and is somewhat accepted......but men blend in:-) Tooo much indoctrination for me to be able to listen to anything "trinity".......

navygoat1998 · #39 07-26-2013, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by commonsense

I understand the conflicting thoughts. Since I'm ex-UPC (3rd generation), my heart is saddened that when I choose to attend, I'm a 2nd class citizen due to lack of compliance to outward standards........
And this makes it difficult for me since my entire life involved the church! My hubby attends and is somewhat accepted......but men blend in:-) Tooo much indoctrination for me to be able to listen to anything "trinity".......

Some of the best Oneness messages I have heard came out of the mouths of Assembly of God and Baptists Pastors.

navygoat1998 · #40 07-26-2013, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StillStanding

My prayers are with you as you try to settle into a new church in a new city. Familiarity breeds comfort, so that may be playing a part in your choice.

I have a similar story. I moved to a new city and attended an ex-UPC church for about ten years. Some things transpired that caused us to look for another church. After visiting around, we settled on a UPC church in town. The pastor and people were friendly and welcoming, but because of how my wife and girls looked, we would always be second class Members. I am a musician and I would never be able to play, nor would my wife and girls be allowed to sing in the choir. I had helped teach a Sunday school class for years, but I would never be allowed to do that at this UPC church.

We decided that we could live with that, so we decided to settle there. What happened is that when my wife or girls were blessed and raised their hands to worship at the alter, folks would think that they were praying through! We had an epiphany that the folks of the church thought that if we stuck around, eventually we would be "touched" by God and assimilate into the mindset. In other words, we were treated as back-slidden.

After about six months, we left.

While we were still in California,we were visiting some friends who lived out of town they invited us to a moderate UPC church that they attended and we did not want to be rude so we went. We had been out of UPC a few years by then and my wife was not do the church lady look any longer. We really enjoyed ourselves in worship and after church it was a big deal to the pastors mom it was questioned if we prayed through and if we were coming home.

Needless to say we are still Assemblies