Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Smith
1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.
And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya. |
Several things have come to mind since I posted my 100% accurate prophecy:
20) There will also be single guys on the prowl for other single guys.
21) Pastors and especially, pastor's children will catch up on all their TV watching in the hotel room.
22) The evening preachers will be rated against one another to determine who was best and who wasn't so good.
23) At least one speaker will take advantage of the opportunity to set every person straight that's in the UPC.
24) A trophy will be presented to the fastest growing church which grew with the same people from last year's fastest growing church.
25) Credit cards will be maxed out on clothes, food, clothes, food, clothes and food.
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