How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

[Charnock]

How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

1. Do what you feel is acceptable.

That's what everyone else does.

2. Always call yourself a conservative.

That's earns you street cred. Doesn't matter if you're a flamin' lib, just call yourself a conservative and everything will be okay.

3. Keep your mouth shut about your liberties.

Do what you do in secret. After all, it's not about truth, it's all about perception.

4. Say the word "Apostolic" fifty times a day. Integrate it into every conversation and sermon. For extra credit add the word "Identity." After all, "Apostolic Identity" is the new way of saying "holiness."

See, DKB learned that holiness has little to do with standards, so he created a made-up label to match all of the made-up extra-biblical standards.

So now Oneness people can accuse "compromisers by saying "He doesn't believe in Apostolic Identity," instead of saying "He doesn't believe in holiness."

That way we don't have to bring pesky things like the Bible into the conversation.